u/Affectionate-Ant3047

In most societies atleast, such as Rome, Greece, Islamic world, China, etc. the usual upbringing of boys, even if laced with masculinity expectations, never told them they were inferior for being born male. If anything, they were told they are handsome, capable, etc (as anyone should hear growing up; its not just about the compliments but building a sense of self and self esteem). Most societies told boys they had value, even if they had to build it up more, and celebrated masculinity. And they celebrated various aspects of what it meant to be a man.

What modern society, however, does is it seems to put women on some sort of pedestal while targetting men constantly. Men are targetted on all aspects of their selfhood. Whether its their sexuality (no matter what, that aspect is a loosing battle, gay, bi, or straight), their looks, what makes them man / their masculinity (ex, hatred at natural male genitals), every single mannerism they exhibit is judged. It is brutal, especially because in this aspect of selfhood, women are much more liberated than men are. We always have men be the targets of violence in media (if women are its usually offscreen or a single blunt hit), we always have therapy talk reserved for women, its normalized to practice disgust towards a man for any one aspect of social rules he is violating yet women get to break many. In old times, this was the reverse, as while both genders were policed harshly, women were much more policed in basic expressions. Additionally, boys get faced with much harsher discipline than girls when young in the west.

We constantly tell messages the male body is just trash, repulsive, and disgusting. If it was so, it wouldn't be considered the ideal in most human cultures, and many men considered more beautiful than women (antinous, Yusuf, apollo, dionysus, adonis, shiva, many more). What kind of a message are we sending to young boys that their natural given genitals and bodies are disgusting?

So many of our books and media emphasize how a man is just a gust of air orbiting some angelic woman, yet completely overlook the rich history or stories of warrior men like achilles, men like hercules, or gilgamesh, or many more. Not much actually gives proper masculine characters or shows men not being reduced to pathetic caricatures. There's a reason why we have "gay best friend" and "pathetic guy who bagged a diva" as tropes.

This is particularly unique, as aside from the modern day west, we never had such a cruel society which disenfranchies its men from youth, to hate themselves. I am not saying women's liberation was particularly bad, but what I am saying is that men's liberation has a long way to go and the oppression that men face for being men should be talked about much more.

Im a bi/gay dude, and I absolutely do not mean to undermine homophobia. It is extremely pervasive and detrimental, and most boys and men go through atleast some aspect of it growing up (even those who are straight, such as in elementary school or later in the dating market). Admittedly, this is an issue men perpetuate, and obsess over (frankly, its draining and one of the main reasons behind the multitude of mental and social issues men face in the west) and then women use that as leverage.

However, notice how homophobia ties in with many different insults and things associated with misandry? Kicking men in the balls in an attempt to feminize them, calling men pussies or gay for not bowing to a woman, etc? This is an extremely prevalent mindset and perpetuates most aspects of our society. In fact, nowadays, other than dark humor, I rarely see men perpetuate genuine homophobia, but I do see women use gay as an insult or go on tangents on how "some of the most misogynistic men I know are gay." So, did somehow every woman in america encounter a misogynistic gay man thats like 3% of the population?

Basically, what I'm talking about is how nowadays, in many male friendgroups, but in many settings in general, people have to bring up gay men this gay men that. I mean, I get some aspects of annoyance, but some guys go a bit overboard and talk about it nonstop. Like we agreed "making it your whole" personality thing was weird, and its still weird either side.

They'll be fine with lesbians and not gays. Which, alright, but the point is why even feel the need to bring that up repeatedly? Or they'll go in depth about the dynamics of gay or lesbian sex and compare. I don't want to hear it, tbh.
Alright that you like one over the other, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. When it gets weird is talking about exposing little boys to hooters or talking about force-assaulting a gay son. It is just extremely creepy and weird, and doesn't seem any different from those predatory gay men who talk about converting straight men.

Maybe I'm the odd one out, but a lot of guys' constant sexual talk - whether they are gay or straight about anything, is genuinely gross. Why can't we have a normal conversation as friends, without some dude bringing up some random negativity? Jokes are fine, but serious bullshit talk irritates me.

Its beyond fetishization, or "they'll treat me how I treat a woman" or any other excuse. I don't want to hear all these bullshit pseudoscience studies or theories or whatever to justify anything, I genuinely do not care? Why obsess over male sexuality that much to the point of lunacy that you are going in depth about it? If most men aren't gay/bi, then move on and stop caring about some tiny nonexistant minority?

The length some guys go to is insane. They'll talk about it nonstop and obsessively. They'll cite x and x low sample study or with bad methods (with little verifying), yet when someone cites a study threatening their worldview they'll full on rage. I just...don't get it, why even go that far?

Title

Sick of that "pathetic bf/husband" archetype lately

For some context, Im talking about that new archetype where there's usually a strong or intelligent young woman, paired up with an absolute dumbass who "sits through" her completely valid feelings and/or is a man who shows emotion, but the way he acts is extremely performative, and finally has no gall of his own to standup. Not sure how to pinpoint this, but vision was sort of like this with wanda in wandavision, but this is especially bad with Austin in Austin and Ashley from Beef, and also George in season 1. Also present in San Clarita diet with Joel and Sheila.

Not sure what this is, but I absolutely despise the male characters and can't help but feel bad for their wives to put up with these absolute dumbasses.

Im so confused what that sub is. They repost straight porn with really big dicks, but its straight porn...but the men in the comments are fantasizing about gay sex and the titles are also gay??? Like is it self insert for bi/gay men?

And the subs supposed to be guys talking abt gay shit together while watching straight porn, because....?

Sorry if Im wrong 😭 idk what it even is

Why do some people talk as if entire genders are repulsive?

For context, Im a gay male myself, but Ive never found vagina "gross or repulsive" neither do I find anything female repulsive. To me, Im just mainly neutral.

However, for whatever reason, some (and I truly mean some, not every single one), gay men will rave constantly abt how gross vagina is, straight men will rave and thrash around about how gross penis is and how they saw it once and have a seizure talking about it, etc.

Ive seen women do it too, particularly lesbians (not all before the pitchforks come), constantly say that "all penises are repulsive" or "all men disgusting." And Ive seen people weirdly overanalyze how the male form is gross or repulsive, alright cool (ignoring how Greece and many other cultures idolized it). Why talk about it constantly then? Like...these arent things anyone can change, do people realize that?

Look. There is a difference between not being sexually attracted to something and just outright saying "wow, this must mean its universally just repulsive and disgusting." That is a natural human body part, what is wrong with some people? Alright if you dont like it, but WHY CONSTANTLY talk about it? This is the part that I do not get. Those are humans too. God forbid these people have children, are they going to tell their kids that their natural given genitals are repulsive and disgusting? Do these people know the harm in that?

Seriously, some people are crazy. Not liking it or being neutral is one thing, loudly thrashing disgust and repulsion is just weird.

A bit of a word salad but bear with me.

Growing up, I've always perceived women to be more trustworthy than men. This is because as a kid I was quite shy or had a higher pitched voice so a lot of boys my age avoided me. What I *did* not know, was that the women or girls around me were largely performatively kind. A large part (even if not all women obviously) of women's kindness is socially engineered or performative/fake: for example, teachers "hugging" you until you realize thats just what they do or giving you therapy talk. Girls siding with you one moment then immediately ditching you.

Women, from my experience, tend to cluster mainly around two types of men (although theres others). When they have male queer friends they usually only really let them around them or be close if theyre extra feminine and willing to suck up to them, or around men that are extra masculine in role and their boyfriends.

In High School, I came out as bisexual to two friends who I thought I trusted. Instead, they (both girls) would write explicit "yaoi" about me. I threatened to report them; and then they accused me of assaulting them during their gym class (which they never even shared with me, and led to them getting caught in their lis), and got their (and my) entire extended friend group to simultaneously pile upon me. Now, the claims were found to be false, and eventual consequence was given, but that permanently caused a large part of my trust towards woman to shatter. Why? Because as a result, I was basically hounded with rumors about my sexuality by them, as they claimed I was gay, etc. even if action was taken, this is what people thought of me. I was in a homophobic conservative town, so my only real hope was continuing my education and exceeding in my classes. I did, and was admitted to a great university. Ever since then, however, Ive realized how superficial many women can be (not all).

For example, I tried to make friends with some girls, but now that I present more masculine or "straight" looking to them, they perceive it differently. I find myself having a much easier and better time making friends with guys, because I believe if I make friends with women theyll either judge me for being gay if I disclose too much or even perceive a certain way, or if I wont be able to express something without it being constantly judged. With guys, I feel like I can keep it chill and talk about a wide variety of subjects and even express my emotions way more.

Anyone else feel this? Initially trusted women way more, but then realize how nasty many women can be? Ive never really had issues to this extent with guys honestly. At most one negative moment that some dude gets over quickly.