I have lost my passion for math and for the love of Godel i can't study for my last 4 exams. (ADHD, university, autism etc..)
I am stuck with my last 4 exams, 2 difficult ones (functional analysis and superior algebra), a difficult, but relatively short one (Lie Groups) and 1 relatively easier.
The problem is for years at this point i have lost my passion for math.
Which isn't even true, but i have neveer been rigorous in it and as subjects became increasingly more challenging, less intuitive or simply more massive in the amount of things to remember (here it's all memorization, or memorization of the logic behind at least, which i suck at anyway, i tend to go for intuition and hyperfocus looking at what i need for what i want to investigate, not necessarily learning every step inbetween), more methodical, more theoretical, it has become a slog.
Now i still love math, i love teaching it (but i need to get the degree to become a proper teacher), but i gotta graduate in it to teach it formally and it's heavy to me, so so so much heavy.
I used to love it, even in university i was active, i was always interested until i started burning out and then fell behind remaining the last of my class.
I have been informally diagnosed with AUDHD and i would love to get meds, but man getting a public diagnosis in my country (Italy) where it's needed to get medicine has been taking 2 years and i still have to have my first meeting with a public specialist on the matter.
I can't keep on like this: any advice to find the spark again? I used to love math videos, but for these advanced subjects there basically isn't anyhthing that is either urface level OR basically just a lesson without nothing really intriguing.