u/AlaskaTech1

I had a fantasy AA wouldn’t let me down this time. Ha! It started when I got to the PreCheck line and my number hadn’t ported even though it was on my AA account. Back to the ticket counter I went for a fix. Then my business flight was delayed 90 minutes for a landing gear problem. We finally boarded and their scanner wasn’t working so they had to manually enter everyone’s seats. Once aboard, the flight attendant wasn’t around for the safety briefing. And there is another 35 minute delay for a cargo door issue. I can’t remember the last time I had a smooth AA flight. At least I don’t have a connection this time. Will they ever be punished for treating their customers like this?

When I met my husband nearly 4 years ago, he told me he was ADHD (which he is,) and I thought that was the only cause of his lack of physical affection, his phone addiction, apathy toward me, etc. after the wedding his weird behavior accelerated. Now he doesn’t seem to care if I exist. The relationship is empty. I get no emotional support but also do nearly all the housework, work a part time job, nag him constantly about the few tasks I want him to do, AND I’m on disability with several health problems. I finally figured out he is DA, probably from his family enmeshment (another big marital problem.) This is a hell unlike any other especially to anxious insecure women like me because we believe the problem is us. It is not.

Today I watched a video on YouTube that made me sad but also gave me strength. Avoidants are usually not bad people, but their issues are their own and beyond our ability to fix. We can’t love their problems away. They must change themselves. More or less space, love, threats, tears, talking, none of it will make a difference because the priority is protecting themselves from the shame they feel at all costs. Unless they are willing to do hard, painful work on themselves, leaving is the only solution to finding the happiness we deserve because we are not asking for too much. They are giving too little.