u/AlexaPetersTrans

I have seen so many negative trans posts all over this past Pride month. About how we are deranged and just men in dresses with some fetish kink.

This weekend past I did a full body hard wax. I spent 8 hours in a tattoo shop getting 2 different very feminine tattoos. Also got my nipples pierced. I bought 4 new outfits and 2 pairs of shoes. Also added to my makeup collection. Today I went for a 2 hour electrolysis session on my face. Afterward I got a deep facial peel.

Now all this was very painful and expensive. ( got a tax refund). Now how the hell will I do all this and spend that amount of money for a kink? So that I can see women washing her hands in a female restroom? There is absolutely no logic to this. And I realise that all these haters are just uninformed and stupid enough to follow the rantings of another idiot..

Disclaimer; this is my personal experience and in no way prescribing.

I recently was on Threads and replied on a discussion on identity. And it really placed me on a spiral of thought that went very deep. My truth is that an identity is your very core base instinct. It affects every single other instinct like survival, procreation food, everything. It will also determine every single choice or decision you make in life.

Now just imagine, you have this whole instinctive identity that you can describe down to the last atom. And then you look in a mirror and what you see is the exact opposite. Example: your identity is that of a health conscious soft caring person. You wake up one morning, look in the mirror and see an obese cruel person staring back. You would hate that image.

I did for 60 years looked at the mirror every single day and I absolutely loathed what I saw and completely hated myself. Knowing that everyone else is seeing the same just made it worse. I really thought and almost did tried to end myself several times. I always justified my failures as a refusal to admit I lost or that its selfish or that its a cowardly act. But in reflection I realise that I believed that I am not worth an easy way out.

Today I look back and realise that every choice or decision I ever made was self sabotaging because I didn’t believe that this monster I see deserve even a shred of happiness. I deserved being gate kept from starting the process of transformation. I deserved not having the access to a medical transition.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer after nearly bleeding to death from a rupture in my bowels. I spent 5 days in intensive care in hospital and my blood pressure dropped to 50/30 at one stage. I laid there with a single thought all the time. I am going to die without ever having a single day not hating myself or being happy. Major operations followed, but the very day they took the stitches out I had an appointment with a gender specialist. I signed the informed consent forms and received my very first prescription for HRT. The moment I took that first dose I broke down and cried like a baby. Since that very special day there has not been a single day of hate and every single day was a happy day. I may not always like what I see, but I don’t hate anymore. I am fully aware that I will never be able to match my identity exactly, there is just not enough time left at this stage of my life. But it is ok. Just the fact that every day I am just a bit closer is enough for me.

A safe space for transfem people to chill and chat. Yea right. Safe space for teens and 20’s bubbly pop girlies. I talk about a new relationship - post just gone. I post a pic of me - get roasted as a fake because I look too young for my age. My daughter, a graphic artist, designs a poster of me as her super hero as an acceptance present and get roasted for AI crap. Gotcha. Trans reddit spaces just are not about a community anymore. Been fighting the fight now for 59 years and never seen the community so vindictive and nasty. Its sad especially in these troubled times where we should be standing together. But with the better meds these days I suppose Bitch is now a recognised side effect.

I recently saw something about cyperus rotundus oil used as hair removal. Anybody got any experience with it? Working? Temp or permanent?

I just somehow have to share today cause my feelings is all over the place and I feel like I am gonna explode.
I knew my whole life I am trans. But due to the religious political environment in apartheid South Africa, i couldn’t do much about it. With the new dispensation things changed and I thus started around 14 months ago with hrt at age 62. I had several relationships through my life that all failed because in the end, a straight woman want a man in bed and not another woman. I spoke to a few exxes after i came out and the consensus was that even though I did everything including love making perfectly, the feminine energy was to much.
So after I started I did not have any hope for a decent relationship being realistic about my age and looks and gender. Taking spiro as a blocker also killed my libido and I was happy about it. At some stage I was on mono and then started progesterone. My libido came back but different. It was no longer genital driven but into gental caring lovemaking and me focussing on the pleasure I can give. Orgasms changed to full body earth moving experiences. Now i totally transitioned socially when I started thinking that if i am going to do this I am gonna go ovaries to the wall. A few men did approach but I clocked them as just chasers and was not interested in games and being a toy when convenient.
In the process I met my two new besties. A lesbian couple and they accepted my fully as a woman and will physically defend me. The helped so much with just girly things, like helping with make up hair and nails and going shopping. I love them to bits. One weekend they suggested we go to this place where there is tables, pizza ovens, an outside garden darts and pool playing and also a dance floor. Dressed up in a western outfit with cowboy boots, jeans and a native American blouse and jewellery. I did look good. At this stage my hair was growing out as well and I came across very feminine. Took a table, had a lot of drinks and danced a lot. And then I saw the MAN. Lets call him Charley. He was the floor manager. He also assisted keeping the tables clean. He moved with a tray on his fingertips and his other hand behind his back. He was hyper polite and friendly. Looks wise he have silver great longish hair, an athletes body He gave a lot of Patric Swayze vibes in Point Break movie. But his main feature is the bluest electric blue eyes I have ever seen in a human. When he looked at me, I started to stutter and when he spoke in that gentle voice, my knees went on holiday and just start wobbling. Now this went on a few tomes and my friends all giggled because I had a serious crush. Then one night there must have been a function because there was table decorations. With a single red rose as the center piece. As i was watching Charley gently copped the rose and smelled it. He then gave to rose such a gentle kiss. My whole body gave out under me and I knew I was smitten completely.
A week or so later I went to the shops and as i walked around the corner and there stood Charley. He greeted me with a hug and invited me for a coffee. He didnt have much time since he had to prepare for work. Now I live in a holiday coastal town and there is always a lot of people around. At the coffee shop he pulled out my chair snd we sat down. He then told me to untie my hair since he thinks it look better. Whitch I did. We chatted to get to know esch other and the tome flied. Soon it became time for him to leave. He then held me close, pushed his fingers through my hair. He pulled my face close and then he kissed me. I just knew he was going to kiss me for as log as he wanted too. My knees gave out and he then took my by mu hips and lifted me onto the table and then kissed me some more and said good bye. Now I always prided me on my kissing skills but realise I am an amateur. I sat down ant the waitress. walked over with a refill Which I was very appreciative for. My heart is still bouncing. About 50 people could see us kissing so defiantly not a chaser. Now for the future, if this works then great. If not it still was an amazing day.

I recently saw something about cyperus rotundus oil used as hair removal. Anybody got any experience with it? Working? Temp or permanent?

I recently posted about the experience when I booked at a hospital and the agent booked me into a female ward because in her words, my boobs are bigger than hers and i should be in the female ward.

Ok so the day of my procedure arrived and I reported to admissions and identified myself with my initials and surname. The clerk replied Certainly mam, please take a seat. But I could see the confusion. As I sat in reception I could see the discussion going on as my file was discussed and it was getting heated. Finally i stood up and asked what the issue was. The supervisor, male, then explained that the system allocates beds according to identity number, which have a gender marker in it. I told them then, I really don’t mind, since I have an operation scheduled and just want to get done. They then allocated me and moved me to a 3 bed room where there already 2 older gentlemen.

So I am sitting in the chair waiting for the nurse to admit me to the ward. She finally arrived looking for mr Duncan. I said Here. So she asked Did he go to the restroom? And not really thinking replied No, here. Then there was a few back and forth’s with her wanting Mr Duncan and me replying here. I suddenly snapped the situation giggled and told her I am mr Duncan. She went No Way!! And I smiled

Ok so now I have to get dressed for the operation. They gave me this hideous dark blue elasticised panty that will fit from a baby to an elephant and that ridiculous tops that you fasten at the back. I completely undressed, took off all jewellery and first got on the panty. I was still busy sorting the top when a nurse suddenly ripped open the curtain. There I stood in that panty and the twins hanging free for the whole world to see, nipple piercings and all. Dead silence and the next moment an old lady visiting her husband, stormed like a mama bear with a blanket to cover me up. And she is screaming and cursing at the nurses for how they are treating this poor woman. Finally all calmed down and I was moved to theatre.

After the operation i was returned but then noticed they moved me into a private room with its own bathroom within the ladies ward. So the hospital upgraded me for free and I had a great time for my recovery. Of course I had an operation on my stomach and it really hurt laughing about it all afterward.

I went out this weekend with a group of friends, all girls and all lesbians. I have been accepted by the group since I came out publicly. We went to a tavern where there is live music and danced and drank the night away. Now when my friends chat , everyone is guys or dude. It was strange at the start, but I am used to it now. Like a girl would say, dudes going to the restroom. Which of you guys is coming with? So at some stage of the night, a group of patched bikers came in and because I ride, they all came to greet me with hugs and kisses and hey girl, looking good. There was one biker that didnt know me, and the other quickly informed him that I am their sister and that this biach will f him up riding the twisties. And then one of them took me for a dance. Now my take away for the evening was that firstly I was accepted completely by everyone that mattered. I didnt have a single bad vibe and I just wished we all could have times like this.

I recently saw that the trans is just a phase or a fetish argument being pushed. Now I did the following things just this past week. I bought new clothes and coats and shoes and boots because it is getting winter here in South Africa. I also bought new lingerie and makeup. I bought facial creams for my face and cleansers as well together with 4 face masks for the month. Someone pressed over a thousand needled into my face to shock hair follicles and the tweezed them out as if this is not enough the pasted an acid base on my face to peel it like an orange leaving my face flapping in the wind snd cutting dead skin of with scissors. I got a navel operation to correct a fault from a previous operation. My breasts hurt each and every day from a growth spurt. I went for a whole set of blood work and then payed a doctor to get a prescription for what i need. I got Mynoxodil that needs to be carefully applied twice a day. I had to buy hot wax pellets to do a full body hot wax where you rip out every single hair below your lashes. Had to buy facial cleansers and treatments snd pay for lashes and brow shaping. Basically I am spending a third of my income on being trans. Now my point. Who in-the name of the goddess will even think that this is is a phase or kink. People think we just go and get a dress and call ourself trangender, just to see what happens what happens in a ladies restroom. The secret is nothing more than in a male restroom. They have no idea

Recently got into a debate over a post with a very right wing bible thumper. The post was about sexual development and how gender dysphoria might start in the womb. was an explanation on how sex is formed. It was a positive post to trans existence and I commented on it. So i got reaction to my comment. And after several exchanges the dude pushed that sex is determined at conception. So I replied with a Ben Shapiro inspired Facts dont care about your feelings. The science proves it. I then asked him, if I give you a dozen eggs, which ones will he hens? And here is a classic. His reply: you think and reason just like women do. Woman shouldn’t have gone to school. Even though very insulting it was strangely ewphoric. Still smiling.

Want to know if other girls experience this.
I now have been on hrt for 15 months. I was first using gel and then moved to a once a week injection. Now doesn’t matter the application, every single time Estrogen enters my body I am just overcome with waves of euphoria. Sometimes I am just so happy that tears begin to run. Is this normal? Do you ever get used to it?