u/Alternative_Appeal_5

I'm 19M living in delhi with my family.... and my maternal grandparents family also lives very close by and from the start we had so good relations with them like we used to enjoy our time together (meeting on every occasion, vibing together) like I myself was somewhat brought up there as well.... But after since my Mama's marriage his behaviour has been changed so drastically when I was small he was kind of idol for me but now he has completely changed he has become more of a authoritarian leader like person (he got my grandfather's wealth maybe that's the reason) and my Mami is also not a very nice person also.....

The main problem with them nowadays is that i don't feel they respect me at all (apart from my nani obviously) like now they are in command of their house i.e Mama and Mami.... My problem with them nowadays is that they still treat mei like a child.... Like I'm now a fuckin adult.... First of all they always make travel plans at the time of my exams only earlier I used to go with them and suffered a lot academically bcoz at that time I didnt had the courage to speak up for myself... But nowadays I've started doing it but they don't understand me they say "tere chakkar mei teri mummy bhi nhi ghum paati kahi, hamesha paper hi hote hai tere" context for this is that my mother is also very possesive for me she doesn't want to leave me at home so that she can go with them they also say casually gadha hai yeh, dafar hai yeh i don't know if they mean it or not but this still hits.... And this thing kinda traps me in a guilty cycle like yrr mummy akele reh jaati hai ghar mei meri wajah se but what can I do the exams dates are not my hands....

Now at their home nowadays they constantly insults, taunts, ki kaise yeh itna bada hogya hai ki isme attitude aagya hai, iske dost hi sab hai iske liye abb and this happening bcoz I'm standing up for myself.... Sometimes I feel to end any relation with them but then my mother tells me "ki aise relations nhi kharab karte, we might need them in future" and then I overthinks about it and realises that she's right bcoz for the context we are not doing very well financially and we have taken so many favours from my nani not from those two thank fucking god....

I need your advices guyzz bcoz I'm a very overthinker kinda person I imagine weird scenarios sometimes and bcoz of this stress im not able to focus on myself, academics, I'm feeling like a failure hearing to their but that's not case in reality I'm from very good clg doing somewhat great academically as well but these thoughts keep dragging me down.... Like I feel they are controlling my life especially my Mami bcoz she's so toxic she taunts me, like she's that kinda person who post wanna be tough Guyy quotes on insta stories....

My main problem here is that I'm trapped in this guilty thoughts cycle and bcoz of this I'm not able to progress or uplift myself...... Nowadays I've starting ignoring them as well, but i feel like ignoring more will potray me as weak and I don't want that to happen as well... But these past thoughts always surrounds me and demotivate me how should I handle them.....

I would genuinely appreciate any advice from you guyzz.... If you want to talk to me on dm plzz reach out to me we will talk there as well ❤️‍🩹

I'm 19M living in delhi with my family.... and my maternal grandparents family also lives very close by and from the start we had so good relations with them like we used to enjoy our time together (meeting on every occasion, vibing together) like I myself was somewhat brought up there as well.... But after since my Mama's marriage his behaviour has been changed so drastically when I was small he was kind of idol for me but now he has completely changed he has become more of a authoritarian leader like person (he got my grandfather's wealth maybe that's the reason) and my Mami is also not a very nice person also.....

The main problem with them nowadays is that i don't feel they respect me at all (apart from my nani obviously) like now they are in command of their house i.e Mama and Mami.... My problem with them nowadays is that they still treat mei like a child.... Like I'm now a fuckin adult.... First of all they always make travel plans at the time of my exams only earlier I used to go with them and suffered a lot academically bcoz at that time I didnt had the courage to speak up for myself... But nowadays I've started doing it but they don't understand me they say "tere chakkar mei teri mummy bhi nhi ghum paati kahi, hamesha paper hi hote hai tere" context for this is that my mother is also very possesive for me she doesn't want to leave me at home so that she can go with them they also say casually gadha hai yeh, dafar hai yeh i don't know if they mean it or not but this still hits.... And this thing kinda traps me in a guilty cycle like yrr mummy akele reh jaati hai ghar mei meri wajah se but what can I do the exams dates are not my hands....

Now at their home nowadays they constantly insults, taunts, ki kaise yeh itna bada hogya hai ki isme attitude aagya hai, iske dost hi sab hai iske liye abb and this happening bcoz I'm standing up for myself.... Sometimes I feel to end any relation with them but then my mother tells me "ki aise relations nhi kharab karte, we might need them in future" and then I overthinks about it and realises that she's right bcoz for the context we are not doing very well financially and we have taken so many favours from my nani not from those two thank fucking god....

I need your advices guyzz bcoz I'm a very overthinker kinda person I imagine weird scenarios sometimes and bcoz of this stress im not able to focus on myself, academics, I'm feeling like a failure hearing to their but that's not case in reality I'm from very good clg doing somewhat great academically as well but these thoughts keep dragging me down.... Like I feel they are controlling my life especially my Mami bcoz she's so toxic she taunts me, like she's that kinda person who post wanna be tough Guyy quotes on insta stories....

My main problem here is that I'm trapped in this guilty thoughts cycle and bcoz of this I'm not able to progress or uplift myself...... Nowadays I've starting ignoring them as well, but i feel like ignoring more will potray me as weak and I don't want that to happen as well... But these past thoughts always surrounds me and demotivate me how should I handle them.....

I would genuinely appreciate any advice from you guyzz.... If you want to talk to me on dm plzz reach out to me we will talk there as well ❤️‍🩹

I'm 19M living in delhi with my family.... and my maternal grandparents family also lives very close by and from the start we had so good relations with them like we used to enjoy our time together (meeting on every occasion, vibing together) like I myself was somewhat brought up there as well.... But after since my Mama's marriage his behaviour has been changed so drastically when I was small he was kind of idol for me but now he has completely changed he has become more of a authoritarian leader like person (he got my grandfather's wealth maybe that's the reason) and my Mami is also not a very nice person also.....

The main problem with them nowadays is that i don't feel they respect me at all (apart from my nani obviously) like now they are in command of their house i.e Mama and Mami.... My problem with them nowadays is that they still treat mei like a child.... Like I'm now a fuckin adult.... First of all they always make travel plans at the time of my exams only earlier I used to go with them and suffered a lot academically bcoz at that time I didnt had the courage to speak up for myself... But nowadays I've started doing it but they don't understand me they say "tere chakkar mei teri mummy bhi nhi ghum paati kahi, hamesha paper hi hote hai tere" context for this is that my mother is also very possesive for me she doesn't want to leave me at home so that she can go with them they also say casually gadha hai yeh, dafar hai yeh i don't know if they mean it or not but this still hits.... And this thing kinda traps me in a guilty cycle like yrr mummy akele reh jaati hai ghar mei meri wajah se but what can I do the exams dates are not my hands....

Now at their home nowadays they constantly insults, taunts, ki kaise yeh itna bada hogya hai ki isme attitude aagya hai, iske dost hi sab hai iske liye abb and this happening bcoz I'm standing up for myself.... Sometimes I feel to end any relation with them but then my mother tells me "ki aise relations nhi kharab karte, we might need them in future" and then I overthinks about it and realises that she's right bcoz for the context we are not doing very well financially and we have taken so many favours from my nani not from those two thank fucking god....

I need your advices guyzz bcoz I'm a very overthinker kinda person I imagine weird scenarios sometimes and bcoz of this stress im not able to focus on myself, academics, I'm feeling like a failure hearing to their but that's not case in reality I'm from very good clg doing somewhat great academically as well but these thoughts keep dragging me down.... Like I feel they are controlling my life especially my Mami bcoz she's so toxic she taunts me, like she's that kinda person who post wanna be tough Guyy quotes on insta stories....

My main problem here is that I'm trapped in this guilty thoughts cycle and bcoz of this I'm not able to progress or uplift myself...... Nowadays I've starting ignoring them as well, but i feel like ignoring more will potray me as weak and I don't want that to happen as well... But these past thoughts always surrounds me and demotivate me how should I handle them.....

I would genuinely appreciate any advice from you guyzz.... If you want to talk to me on dm plzz reach out to me we will talk there as well ❤️‍🩹

I'm 19M living in delhi with my family.... and my maternal grandparents family also lives very close by and from the start we had so good relations with them like we used to enjoy our time together (meeting on every occasion, vibing together) like I myself was somewhat brought up there as well.... But after since my Mama's marriage his behaviour has been changed so drastically when I was small he was kind of idol for me but now he has completely changed he has become more of a authoritarian leader like person (he got my grandfather's wealth maybe that's the reason) and my Mami is also not a very nice person also.....

The main problem with them nowadays is that i don't feel they respect me at all (apart from my nani obviously) like now they are in command of their house i.e Mama and Mami.... My problem with them nowadays is that they still treat mei like a child.... Like I'm now a fuckin adult.... First of all they always make travel plans at the time of my exams only earlier I used to go with them and suffered a lot academically bcoz at that time I didnt had the courage to speak up for myself... But nowadays I've started doing it but they don't understand me they say "tere chakkar mei teri mummy bhi nhi ghum paati kahi, hamesha paper hi hote hai tere" context for this is that my mother is also very possesive for me she doesn't want to leave me at home so that she can go with them they also say casually gadha hai yeh, dafar hai yeh i don't know if they mean it or not but this still hits.... And this thing kinda traps me in a guilty cycle like yrr mummy akele reh jaati hai ghar mei meri wajah se but what can I do the exams dates are not my hands....

Now at their home nowadays they constantly insults, taunts, ki kaise yeh itna bada hogya hai ki isme attitude aagya hai, iske dost hi sab hai iske liye abb and this happening bcoz I'm standing up for myself.... Sometimes I feel to end any relation with them but then my mother tells me "ki aise relations nhi kharab karte, we might need them in future" and then I overthinks about it and realises that she's right bcoz for the context we are not doing very well financially and we have taken so many favours from my nani not from those two thank fucking god....

I need your advices guyzz bcoz I'm a very overthinker kinda person I imagine weird scenarios sometimes and bcoz of this stress im not able to focus on myself, academics, I'm feeling like a failure hearing to their but that's not case in reality I'm from very good clg doing somewhat great academically as well but these thoughts keep dragging me down.... Like I feel they are controlling my life especially my Mami bcoz she's so toxic she taunts me, like she's that kinda person who post wanna be tough Guyy quotes on insta stories....

My main problem here is that I'm trapped in this guilty thoughts cycle and bcoz of this I'm not able to progress or uplift myself...... Nowadays I've starting ignoring them as well, but i feel like ignoring more will potray me as weak and I don't want that to happen as well... But these past thoughts always surrounds me and demotivate me how should I handle them.....

I would genuinely appreciate any advice from you guyzz.... If you want to talk to me on dm plzz reach out to me we will talk there as well ❤️‍🩹

Should I apply for internships in May but as we know that in June our end sems are going to be held toh 1 mahine ka gap hojayega exams ki wajah se coz I'm planning to go for those internships which have a tenure of 2-3 months.... Or else I should apply after end sems are done.... But then phir pura may khaali rahega.... Damn so.much confused need your advice guyzz??

Btw I'm a 2nd year Bcom Prog student at sggscc and looking for finance internships