u/Any-Corgi-6948

I made my first attempt at a blood donation on October 19, 2017. But since then, I've only actually successfully donated 11 units, because I kept not scheduling donations at the minimum possible interval, but sometimes at 6-month or more intervals, and getting myself deferred.

Out of 16 total donation appointments booked since 2017 (which itself is already a shameful number, since in theory I can book once every 3 months), I got deferred from four of them for low hemoglobin, and I also got deferred once for an entire year due to having gotten a doctor to check out an unusual mole on my head. (It was benign, but it took about the entire year for the dermatologist appointment, biopsy, and lab results to be completed.) And at my most recent appointment in June 2026, I once again got deferred for 6 months due to low ferritin.

Everyone tells me that it's simple, that I just need to make it a priority, and that I just need to have the motivation. That if you really cared about other people, you'd make it happen, you'd be motivated to make it happen. Nothing about the blood donation community makes me feel more motivated. I know I'll never reach even 50 lifetime donations, let alone 100, that everyone is so proud of.

And recently, everyone in my life (not just r/blooddonors, but everyone I know in all other walks of life, and Blood Canada too) has been insisting that I need to donate because there's a shortage, and that if you're not, you "need to fix your heart" and "have no empathy for other people".

But my last appointment was on June 16, 2026. I won't be allowed at all until September, and if I want to adhere to my personal deferral, until December. Which means I am explicitly blocked from donating during the shortage.

Ultimately, I think I'm trying to take advantage of the system. I want to have the social cachet of being "a blood donor" while not actually living up to the expectations of being one. Because if I was, I'd actually, you know, feel motivated instead of feeling like shit at the prospect of booking my next appointment. If I cared about other people, I'd be making it work, and actually racking up donations, instead of sneaking in a few times a year and still just getting myself deferred instead of donating.

The most parsimonious explanation for my behaviour is that I don't care if other people die. So I'm inclined to just quit, take myself off the donor list, and stop lying to everyone.

As in, the lifestyle system that will turn me into a reliable donor. I made my first donation in late 2017 and have only managed 11 since then, because I keep getting deferred for low hemoglobin, ferritin, and once for a whole year for a weird-looking mole. So this averages to probably about 1.1 donations/year for the last decade (11 donations, 16 attempts).

Finally managed to gather the data from all the bloodwork I have ever had done in my life, in the hopes that it will help me figure out A System to keep myself reliably eligible. But the data is super noisy - as far as I can tell my hemoglobin can just randomly be anywhere between 120 and 140 on any given day, and my ferritin refuses to go above 30 (or, at least, ever since 2014). Yes, I’m seeing a doctor about this, but most of them have said the same thing, which is that unless I have anemia symptoms all they can really say is to eat healthy, and they don’t book more frequently than about every 3 months.

So I’m looking for advice on how to turn my decade of data into a useful System, a System that will tell me what to eat and when to book donation appointments so that I can be reliable and not be constantly playing roulette with my eligibility. I’m not really looking for advice on what to do, but on how you developed Your System - what kind of data did you collect over what period of time, how did you analyze it, whom did you seek reference from, etc. Especially if you started off as an unreliable donor but managed to get yourself to be reliable.

Thanks!

It’s me, back again from this post with updates on the sloper search - I went to the lady who promised she could help me with my fitting, and I had a really awful time, she kept insisting on making me a dolman sleeve instead of fitting anything to my body, and didn’t show me what her technique was, just eyeballed everything.

i then went to my local fabric store to see if they had a basic blouse or bodice pattern I could start from to modify, but despite looking through three pattern blocks, there was nothing with the simultaneous dart/shoulder seam/no yoke that I’d need for just a basic block for even simple fitting.

So if I can’t draft one even with help, and I can’t buy one, what are my other options? I really feel like I’m going to get nowhere in sewing from here, because every project I had planned requires some kind of pattern that fits me.

Do I just have weirdly high standards for what this process should entail? Are there any other options for me, other than throwing in the towel on drafting and just going with commercial patterns exactly as shown forever? I swear this is making me hate myself and this hobby.

So I can get a good fit from commercial patterns fine, but for some reason I cannot fit a bodice or sleeve myself to save my life. I have tried several sloper drafting tutorials, and they all fit really weirdly around the armpits, bust, and upper back. I also tried copying clothes I own or armscyes from the patterns I have, but for some reason if I’m doing even a smidgen of self-drafting, it won’t fit. It’s been 5 years of reading theory and trying different patterns, and self-drafting is still not doing it for me.

But to achieve any of the goals I have, I need to be able to fit bodices and sleeves. I almost want to give up here, sell the damn machine and decide I was never going to be good enough at sewing to satisfy myself, or resign myself to rectangular construction forever.

How did any of you solve your inability to make a sloper? How did you manage to take measurements that work? Should I just shell out the big bucks for private lessons at this point, or should I give up on my clothing dreams and sell the machine and sentimental fabric to someone smarter than I?

So after my donation last week (and I didn't get deferred this time! 136 hemoglobin! A miracle for me!), I got an email today from Blood Canada telling me that my ferritin is low and that I need to cancel any donations in the next six months "to allow my iron stores to improve" and to discuss with a healthcare professional. This is really disappointing, not least because I had bloodwork done with said healthcare professional a week and a half before the donation, and my ferritin was the highest it's been in years (possibly ever); I was very proud of that increase.

I didn't know Blood Canada did deferrals for ferritin. Does anyone else know if this is a new thing they've implemented? Would it help anything if I tried to switch my next donation from whole blood to plasma? It really feels like they've moved the goalposts under me, just as all my efforts towards iron supplementation and IUD acquisition were actually starting to pay off on my lab results.

As it says in the title, every bra I've ever worn for as long as I can remember winds up, after a few hours, causing me significant pain in my ribcage (band height and below) and stomach and nausea. This is not restricted to wired bras; my sports bras and my extremely soft jersey bralette also cause it to happen. The pain and nausea always resolve within about half an hour after removing my bra, and never happens on the most-of-the-time that I go braless. The pain does not occur with hip-length camisoles or t-shirts of equivalent tightness. I do not have EDS, fibromyalgia, or any other diagnosed joint or rib problems.

Currently I own 4 bras and it happens with every single one; my sports bra is a size L and is literally loose enough to gape around my ribs, and it still makes my ribs hurt after wearing it for a couple hours. It definitely feels to me like this issue is related to the bra band and pressure on my ribcage, though, which is tough, because the support of a bra is meant to come from the tightness of the band, so the typical advice to size down in the band and up in the cup might not work.

However, the people in my life are still trying to find me the perfect bra that'll fit and will make me look like a woman and that I can wear with formal outfits, so I thought I'd bring it here for another shot.

According to the calculator, I'd be a 32C or 32D; however, when I try on a 32B, I have extra space in the cups and gaps on the top edge, and it isn't snug. Only smaller sizes (A) have ever actually fit snugly over my whole breast, so I suspect I am not that large and am possibly just really horrible at measuring myself.

What would you recommend:

• Just start wearing the bras I have more often, so as to get used to how they feel/functioning in uncomfortable clothing, and hope if I push through it'll stop hurting?
• Take painkillers when I need to wear a bra, to see if that makes it hurt less?
• Try to find a new bra that is miraculously better than every other one? (Tips on how to tell if it'll be comfortable in the long run welcome)
• Take this to a doctor?
• Get a lot of camisoles and become a camisole person?
• Investigate myself for gender dysphoria? (Seems weird, but I'm willing to look into anything at this point)

Measurements (taken today):

Loose underbust: 31"
Snug underbust: 30.5"
Tight underbust: 29"
Standing bust: 33"
Leaning bust: 35"
Lying bust: 34"

So I got my TV110 pattern and assembled it, but having re-measured myself I don't fit into the straight sizing. As far as I can tell, my 33"-28"-33" would map to sizes C, D, and B at the bust, waist, and hips respectively.

The obvious respense is to grade the pattern, but the front piece is perfectly straight (for the busk) and the other panels only have the sizing difference applied to one side of the panel, which means that if I grade it, the pattern won't match up anymore (as the new diagonal seamline will be ever so slightly longer than the seamline it connects to).

How do you resize this pattern? Or should I just give up, if I'm already not smart enough to do it myself?

So OCD has basically ruined my ability to be in Internet fandom or to participate in any sort of community-based hobbies. I’m constantly encountering people’s vents, jokes, awareness and advice posts, Discord server rules, and just general taste differences that end up proving to me that I’m inevitably a homophobic racist antisemitic transphobic ableist misogynist, who thinks everyone who isn’t exactly like her should die, and is an illiterate anti-shipper with no reading comprehension to boot. It doesn’t usually help when companies themselves put out public messages about how ”we stand against hate, and no bigots have a place among our fans“.

And then it generally actually turns me into a toxic fan due to making me confess this to other fans, beg to be permanently banned from fan spaces, and delete all my works and posts.

It’s petty that it focuses on fandom, I know. But whenever I ask anyone for advice about this, they just settle on “go to therapy”, and any benefits I get from therapy don’t last beyond reading the next complaint post.

(It’s quite frustrating; fans saying on the one hand that it’s bullying to tell someone to go to therapy and not be in fandom until they’re fixed; on the other hand, saying that to me because I’m worried I’m the bully; and it doesn’t even *work*.)

Aside from just cold-turkey quitting all fan-like activity like an alcoholic would alcohol, are there any ways to improve this situation, if therapy isn making a dent? And is it worth the effort just for a petty little hobby like that?

(C’mon, we all know there’s an illiteracy epidemic going around, it would be terribly hubristic to believe myself unscathed)

So, everyone I’ve discussed TIatD, Severed, and TDK with has been adamant that they are romances, and that it’s extremely obvious that the books function primarily as the best queer representation Black Library published.

And I re-read and re-read and I simply cannot make this be the most obvious interpretation on my end. And it’s making it really difficult to remain a WH40k fan, because I just can’t see eye-to-eye with the other fans when it is obviously so meaningful to them. But it’d be a shame to have to slink away as one of those hateful fans who will not be missed, either.

Please - can someone make a genuine attempt at deprogramming me, and showing me what I’m missing in my analysis? Feel free to summon Nate Crowley upon me to help me see the light, or give me the lecture on why I should be enjoying Severed as a romance instead of as a philosophical short story. Really just hoping for one last chance to be genuinely convinced, maybe by someone who will present a different framing that gets around whatever reading comprehension is lacking.

I’m looking to make a proper corset for use with Victorian and steampunk clothing (and potentially as a base for formalwear if the fit works out), and TV110 is the one I see around a lot.

However, I have not sewn a corset before, and I’m not very good at precise fitting of fitted garments. I’d be working with measurements of 32-28-32, which seems pretty close to the pattern already.

Is it worth getting the pattern and giving it an attempt? Or am I better off not even trying, and just saving up and buying from a better sewist? Does anyone have any advice that might m me more likely to succeed?

My country Canada keeps putting out these statistics saying that 50% of its population is eligible to donate, but that only 2% of us do, and please, please, please come in and donate because its so important and you know you might need blood eventually.

But I don’t know how to tell if I’m actually in that 2%, or if I need to be changing something. Because I make a whole blood appointment every 3 months, and every 3 months I show up, answer all the screening questions, let them prick my finger, and then get told my hemoglobin is too low today and I need to come back in 3 months. Rinse and repeat.

So by passing the screening, I’m clearly in the eligible 50%. But if they keep refusing to take my blood, I feel like I can’t technically be considered part of the 2% that donate.

But being stuck in the “eligible but just doesn’t do it” group doesn’t seem to really describe my situation either, because dragging my ass to the donation center quarterly seems like a clear signal of willingness. I seriously don’t know what kind of behavioural levers I have left to push to get me into the “blood donor” group.

Do you think I count, or am just trying to steal glory and should be shamed for not donating more?

So I've moved fandoms a lot, always for the same reason - I'll join, I'll feel like I'm getting established and making friends, and then the overall tone of discussion and discourse feels like it changes until there are now much higher expectations for morality, literacy, and skill that are required to remain a useful and valuable part of the fandom community. And then eventually I decide to leave, because participating is constantly making me anxious that I'm not living up to these expectations and the other fans deserve their safe space without weird interlopers like me.

And I'm very frustrated that my current fandom seems to be going the same way, and also an awful lot of other people, in this fandom or not, who I thought had fairly reasonable, measured takes that I generally agreed with. It definitely feels like everywhere is getting a bit more aggressive and judgemental nowadays? Or that the good faith is being restricted to narrower groups of people, and that once again, I cannot guarantee that I'm living up to the required expectations.

(It's not anti-dom. Most of the judgement and criticism and demands for media literacy and correct-opinion-holding that I'm seeing are from people who are vocally pro-ship and against censorship.)

And you know what? It probably is just me. It probably just is that I'm too sensitive and I don't have a thick enough skin or strong enough "that's not me they're talking about" instincts. It's not like I'm getting personally bullied or harassed or anything, but when you see enough people talking about what's an abuser's red flag and how the entire fandom is lousy with fascists who have unexamined beliefs, you gotta start wondering if maybe you're statistically an abuser or a fascist. And I genuinely care about other fans and want to treat them with respect, which means taking their complains and concerns seriously. (Even if sometimes - and I know this is petty - it feels like they're using "is a member of the same fandom as me" as evidence of other people's immoral nature.)

And the frustrating part is that I really don't know how to stop feeling this way while still being "in fandom". I obviously could just step back and take a break, read nothing and write nothing and just go touch grass for a while, but that feels... kind of unfair. "You should leave fandom as self-care" is, in practical terms, isomorphic to "you should leave because nobody wants you here". Either way, you don't get to have the fun hobby, while everyone else does.

Does anyone else feel like their fandoms are getting more judgmental recently, even on the pro-shipping and anti-censorship sides of things? Like more of that judgment is placed upon having good media literacy and having properly examined beliefs? Is there any possible way to balance being this kind of anxious and still having an enjoyable hobby, or is this more of a "accept there are some things you cannot do" scenario?

Hi everyone! I’m working on my first project (a collection of short fics), and I’m wondering if there’s an established “best practice“ for formatting and including metadata (tags, summaries, etc.), or if it’s really preference. I know it needs to be in there somewhere, but is there a specific where?

My current plan is to have the anthology title page, table of contents, and then each story with its title, author, and publication year. Then, at the back, to have an appendix with each story’s metadata (specific date, tags, summary, notes, etc.) there for reference. (This way, if I want to add more stories, I’ll need to reprint fewer pages, I think).

Is this a reasonable plan? Or is the metadata generally kept with its own story text? I don’t want to accidentally fail to provide appropriate citation information.

Thank you all!