u/AnybodyArtistic7873

I hate that I have to make this post. I hate that I have to acknowledge this as a problem.

I believe I have a porn addiction and I want out. I believe it started when I was young, I was assaulted at 7-12 and that led to talking to older people online and that led to being exposed to porn, starting the addiction. I'm young, not yet eighteen. I am so ashamed. I tried to stop, but I just can't.

I don't even like it. It's gross to watch and it makes me panic to think about, yet here i am. I want to get help, but i am SO embarrassed to do that as a teenager. i just don't know what to do.

i used it as a way to regain the feelings of control, i have guilt for being an enabler. would probably do again though, idk.

happened awhile ago

went to the doctors yesterday on account of joint pain + follow up for long lasting problems. doctor saw my thighs and later asked "does it take a while for you to stop bleeding after you cut yourself.... on accident?" and she got red. thought it was HILARIOUS. my mother, not so much.

this is kinda butt can i just get a diagnosis.. they believe it to be lymes disease or lupis with a big possibility of EDS too.. uuugh. i just want a diagnosis and ways to cope.

if anyone has recommendations on chronic joint pain, migraines, horrible nausea, and what not please share 'em. probably starting PT too soon, how exciting.

gotta hate it, they get offended when you attempt to educate them too.

anyb know how to educate people properly? maybe i'm mean with it?

had my first appointment with my gender therapist type thing and like my first appointment with the provider to start the process of hormones, she made it about herself 🫠

i'm so tired of this dude i'm considering just waiting until 18 to start the process