u/Arcane-Panda

I love standing up to pee. It's the one thing I have that makes being a trans woman better than being born a cis woman. Love it. 10/10. Makes hiking easy. Don't have to sit on nasty porta potties. Doesn't give me any dysphoria at all.

For a while I thought I had to completely reject any part of my 'male' anatomy. I would always sit down to pee, and honestly that made me feel more dysphoric because it felt to me like I was faking it. Of course, I still sit down to pee in a public restroom, but I've come a long way in accepting my body as it is, and I see no reason to refuse myself the pleasure of pissing off the top of a mountain even if I'm a woman.

Of course there's nothing wrong with feeling more comfortable sitting down to do the deed if that helps you. I just wanted to share my experience and that I thought I had to sit down while peeing as part of being a woman. I thought I would be some kind of stereotype standing while peeing. But why not take some advantage in the physiology I was born in. That physiology has caused me so much pain and misery.

Beyond the permanent damage testosterone has done to my voice and body, I've had a lot of difficulties with sex and discovering what to do with the damn thing. It brings me a lot of discomfort during intimate times. I hate having to be concerned with what clothes I'm wearing, if the pants or dress is going to be too tight, if I have to by another 50 dollar pair of tucking underwear that does only half the job I'd like it to.

Taking some joy in this feels like taking something back. Just to find a bit of comfort and fun in the thing that's brought me so much of the opposite. If you haven't pissed off a mountain top, I definitely recommend it.

I just wanted to share something personal, funny and positive. I know it's different for everyone, but there's no shame anyway you use it or if you lose it all together.

I hope all you ladies have great day, and don't be ashamed of your body. Whether it's what's between your legs, fear of not looking feminine enough, your weight or anything you can't change about yourself. It can be hard seeing beautiful trans women when you know you're not passing, but many cis women have the same problem. But I truly believe that what ever is in your heart shines through. Love and acceptance makes you beautiful, no matter what you look like, what organs you have, whether you've been in HRT for decades or not at all and never plan to. Be good to yourselves, be good to the world and be a cunt to people who deserve it.

Sending love and support for all of you. 💜💜 💜

After posting a rant on how terrified I was to start hrt today, I did it! I just wanted to thank all the girlies here who have helped me through these last months

This community has been amazing for me. Thank you all 💜

I got my prescription for E and I'm fucking terrified. Its ready to pick up later today and I've been having a lot of panic attacks about it. I should be excited, and I am, but I'm also just scared.

I'm not fully out yet. My partner and my sisters know and so does my best friend but that's all. They've all been very supportive but this next part just feels like such a huge step. It shouldn't be scary. It's clear that I like being a woman. I actually smile at myself in the mirror and feel it, even on days when the make up isn't so good. I've always hated clothes shopping since I was a child and now it fills me with so much joy because I'm actually finding things I want to wear. I feel more confident, more myself and I think a lot less about going down the sewer slide. And yet now that I finally have the opportunity to start E I'm paralyzed with fear.

In a world without judgment where no one cares if you transition or detransition I don't think I'd hesitate, but that's not the world we live in. Unfortunately, as much as I try not to, I do care what other people think. I care what my conservative parents will think, I care about what my openly transphobic workplace thinks. I care what my government that seems hellbent on eradicating trans people thinks. I know I shouldn't but I do.

I'm scared that I'll end up regretting my decision. I'll never be accepted or maybe I'll realize in a few years that all this was all a mistake. I don't want to have to think about the fact that I'm trans during every conversation I have for the rest of my life, I don't want to have to feel scared that the wrong person will find out and hurt me. I don't want to get screamed at or have the police called for using the bathroom. I don't want to have to struggle for finding a job or housing or fight tooth and nail to get all my documents changed just for the government to decide I can't do that.

I've always had to mask who I am long before I knew I was trans, but once I socially transition I can't hide behind that mask anymore and that's scary too. I've never been able to stand up for myself or face ridicule. It's so much easier just to stay hidden and to never have to deal with the confrontation. Being a woman makes me happy but can I be happy if I'm constantly being ostracized by everyone around me?

I just feel sick to my stomach with worry. Pretty much every possible worry there could be for transitioning. And yet I know I'm going to get done with work and go and pick up my prescription because I don't really have another choice. I opened Pandora's box and it's too late to shove everything back in. I just can't stop thinking about everything bad that could happen instead of thinking about all the good that will come from it.

I'm sorry for the rant. Even though I do have people who support me I don't have anyone in my life who really understands. I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel this way. I just want to be excited that it's finally happening but instead of just been terrified and even more depressed than usual

So since my egg cracked months ago I've been having a lot of trouble in bed with my girlfriend. To her credit, she has been amazing, and I've genuinely had some of the best sex I've had in my life once I was treated like a woman. But I also haven't been nearly as interested in sex.

I haven't started HRT. Since realizing that I'm trans, a lot of stuff that I didn't think bothered me about my body bother me a lot now. At least when I'm dressed up I resemble a woman but I don't when naked and I think that has a lot to do with it. I've been shaving my entire body but it grows back so fast and even freshly shaven when I look down I only see a man's body. It doesn't help that my hair is short and I wear a wig when I'm femme, which feels extra fake during sex, especially when it slides around.

I feel bad. My girlfriend has a pretty high sex drive and mine has become next to none existent, and I've honestly started preferring masturbating because I'm not being observed and I don't have to think about it as much. Sex just makes me feel very vulnerable. She is incredibly understanding but I know she would like more. She hasn't complained at all and has been amazing but I know she craves more.

Basically it comes down to how I see myself while being seen while naked. It never bothered me before but now it's incredibly uncomfortable and I'm think about it the whole time. We've done things like leaving my shirt on or I'll wear a dress and it does help but sex has just become dysphoric. Doggy style used to be my favorite position and I topped her a few weeks ago and it sent me spiraling. I don't know why, lesbians can do it and I'm a lesbian now. My girlfriend can top me and she's fine with it.

I guess I just feel guilty for not giving her what she needs. Like I said, she's been nothing but understanding and she has never once complained about it and she has really been my rock these last few months while I struggled with my identity. She's incredible. I'd also like to have sex for what it's worth. Obviously sex is pretty fucking cool, but my mind just makes it really difficult to enjoy or want right now.

Has anyone else struggled with this? Any tips for avoiding the dysphoria and getting back to a place where I feel comfortable? I don't have a lot of dysphoria around my dick specifically, it's honestly more the rest of my body.

HRT would probably help, I'm just not really there yet. My egg only cracked in March and it took me months to fully accept it and I'm honestly still having trouble, and I'm only out to a few people so I haven't felt ready to start despite also wishing I had already started.

Thanks to any help girls

So I'm wanting to start a batch of rhubarb mead and I'm just having trouble with what to mix it with. The trouble is I want it a little different than my other meads. For context, I'm currently brewing a rhubarb and strawberry mead, a blackberry mead, a raspberry mead and an cinnamon apple mead. I'm also about to start a vanilla cardamom mead.

I just don't really want to overlap the taste profile too much, just want something different. I hear ginger is good with it and I do love ginger but at least in my head the flavors don't seem to mesh that well. Just thought I'd see if anyone has tried anything that came out really well.

Thanks!

I'm only out to a couple people. When I'm home, I put on make up, my hair isn't grown out so I put on a wig and my girl clothes. But I still have to work as a boy and see family and stuff as a boy.

Even just being home, I don't want to have to wear makeup all the time or wear a wig. I love it but it also makes my girlhood feel artificial. I want to feel like a woman without it. It doesn't help that I haven't started HRT and my hair is dark and grows fast. It's hard to see myself with beard shadow and plainly masculine features and tell myself I'm a woman.

And I know it's not all about the outside. That's just an expression of what's inside. But it's very difficult for me to validate my inside without seeing it on the outside. I just want to be able to go to work and feel like I'm a woman or even stay home and have a lazy day without makeup or a wig and still just feel it.

At work I often put on mascara and some light lip gloss that's covert. My workplace is openly transphobic and not a safe place for coming out. I'll need a new job eventually but I'm in need of my insurance that's through the job at the moment for therapy and ongoing medical issues.

I keep thinking maybe if I get in shape to get more of a feminine form maybe that will help but I viscerally hate working out.

Anyway just kind of rambling. I just want to learn how to feel in my heart that I really am a woman regardless of what I look like.

I'm only out to a couple people. When I'm home, I put on make up, my hair isn't grown out so I put on a wig and my girl clothes. But I still have to work as a boy and see family and stuff as a boy.

Even just being home, I don't want to have to wear makeup all the time or wear a wig. I love it but it also makes my girlhood feel artificial. I want to feel like a woman without it. It doesn't help that I haven't started HRT and my hair is dark and grows fast. It's hard to see myself with beard shadow and plainly masculine features and tell myself I'm a woman.

And I know it's not all about the outside. That's just an expression of what's inside. But it's very difficult for me to validate my inside without seeing it on the outside. I just want to be able to go to work and feel like I'm a woman or even stay home and have a lazy day without makeup or a wig and still just feel it.

At work I often put on mascara and some light lip gloss that's covert. My workplace is openly transphobic and not a safe place for coming out. I'll need a new job eventually but I'm in need of my insurance that's through the job at the moment for therapy and ongoing medical issues.

I keep thinking maybe if I get in shape to get more of a feminine form maybe that will help but I viscerally hate working out.

Anyway just kind of rambling. I just want to learn how to feel in my heart that I really am a woman regardless of what I look like.

I'm so tired of how fast my hair grows. I have to shave my face twice a day and use color corrector just to hide it. I keep getting shaving bumps on my chest and thighs only for the hair to be back in the next day or two. The chest especially bothers me.

I was looking into different treatments but they're all so expensive. If I had that kind of money I would be living a much different life.

It seems the cheapest option would be DIY but does it really work? And if so what are good brands that aren't going to be a choice between hair removal and eating for a week?

Thanks gals