u/AreYouSober

Hi all, I hope this is okay to post as I’m not really sure where to go and who to ask. I’d like to give some background and context:

My mom is mixed with Eastern European and Middle Eastern ancestry and has long, thick, straight hair. My dad is Indian with Bantu Siddi ancestry, (he’s also bald since I’ve known him) and the women in his family have thinning curly hair. (They chop their hair into pixie cuts in their forties, and I don’t want that look because they’ve got tiny features, while I inherited a larger bone structure/facial features that don’t suit super short hair styles).

My whole life, my mom brushed out my curls and didn’t know how to care for them, which led to years of blow drying and straightening my hair until I started working at a majority black school, where I was encouraged to do a big chop to reset my hair. My gracious coworkers schooled me on my texture and taught me how to care for my hair.

HOWEVER, I’m now experiencing alopecia and it’s incredibly embarrassing. Hair is considered a huge symbol of beauty in my parents’ country, and I feel so…. Less than, and embarrassed.

I know that black women have hair styles and wigs, but the African salon I went to braided my hair down and sewed hair on top, and I looked like I was doing cultural appropriation and had it taken out stat🥴 I also know that “white girl weaves” are a thing, but I’m not white, and Caucasian hair extension methods (k-tips and beads and such) would hurt my hair and speed up the alopecia.

I’m not sure what it is that I’m asking, but I suppose I’d like to know if I have options/brands that would suit me. I’ve wasted a lot of time and money bumbling around on my own, so I figured I’d ask for suggestions in this sub, and I hope that’s okay.

Thank you in advance for your help, it’s greatly appreciated 🙏🏽✨🧡

I’m always in the mood for making friends, not sure how receptive y’all are to meeting short-term visitors, but I’m a FUN TIME 💃🏾 ✨ 🧡! I visit the Bay Area (and specifically your city) ~4 times a year.

Open to any and all for hanging out! All I ask is that you please be normal and well-adjusted 😄

ETA: WHOA, y’all thought this post was fishy, but it ended up being a reverse Uno situation… the creepy fish are all in my DMs 🥴

My whole face scrunches up when I make expressions and my nose is very bulbous.

What procedures do you recommend?

Okay, I (33F) just got home from my SIXTH date with this guy (29M). Over the course of two weeks, we’ve gone on a date every few days and he told me on our first date that he has autism.

We get along EXTREMELY well—so much so that I would be sad if we didn’t stay friends if this doesn’t work out. Barring music, we have so many hobbies and interests in common. Conversation is a breeze, we both laugh a lot, and he’s referenced me as “the girl I’m dating.”

I’ve noticed that he has some sensory issues, and that’s what gives me pause.

Not only has he not kissed me, but he hasn’t even tried. How do I ask him if he’s attracted to me or possibly just really likes our connection and doesn’t wanna turn me down?

For what it’s worth, I’m 5’7, 185 and very curvy (boobs and hips and butt) and this man is tall and rail thin. Maybe he thinks I’m too fat for him?

I want to know how to approach this without making him feel awkward or pressured.

BE HONEST about your political views!!!

I’m very confused. I’m not sure why these conservative ass men keep matching with me on the apps, but it is a waste of *everyone’s* time for us to meet up, only for you to walk it back.

I’d love to know their thought process.

Have matched and met up with men who 1) state they’re apolitical 2) moderate 3) show no political affiliation. Every one of them was being dishonest, and it came out sometimes after a second date even!

After that, I wised up and started asking before meeting 😬

Still the lies, literally why??

If you’re moderate, that is OKAY! But don’t lie about not actually being moderate to get more matches with folks with whom you’re incompatible! And if you’re conservative, also okay! Just don’t hide it online, swipe on me and engage in conversation and lead me astray, because I’m dumb and trusting and god, I’m donezo with the apps, y’all.

Currently feeling like a 🤡

Dear Every Deity, send me a man with integrity and a cute butt, amen 🙏🏽

I’m taking a boy out for drinks, let me know if this is a tall order—

Somewhere we can speak and drink and actually hear each other and not melt 🥵

Thanks in advance for your recs!!!

EDIT: thanks for all of your suggestions, I’m at The Old Monk waiting on this guy with a whiskey and a belly full of nerves!

HE SAID YES, so why do I feel so anxious???

This will be my first real date in…. Well, since Covid. I feel stale, can’t even remember the last time I flirted with your kind.

At the risk of getting CRUCIFIED in the comments—nothing sounds more appealing than wearing PJs and reading in bed tomorrow night instead of going on this date.

What if he can smell the regrown hymen on me? What if he thinks my nose is bulbous? What if he finds me boring? I’m a LIBRARIAN FOR FUCK’S SAKE, I DONT SMOULDER I READ SMUT IN MY JIMJAMS.

I scared 😬

…

ETA: SO MANY of y’all have been helpful and kind! I’m a pretty easygoing, lighthearted person and convey emotions thusly—I’m sorry if that triggered anyone who is unhappy… But that’s no reason to send mean messages! I suppose your karma is that you have to live with yourself 😳

Preferably something that tastes like an abuela made it 😬

My brother and SIL are going to Japan next week, and I’d love recs on what products you think are worth purchasing.

If you have medium cool olive skin, please give me your favorite J-beauty suggestion!

I’m a cool medium olive, I THINK I’m muted… ordered a bunch of Phytosurgence and it’s on its way here—

Super niche query, but thought I’d ask into the void here. If you own both, what’re your thoughts?

I LOVE WA’s Biscuit and Petal and Brûlée, but would love a comparison if you own Phytosurgence products.