u/Articulated

I say this with love and hope for your success and wellbeing: what the hell are some of you playing at?

If you're going on a calorie counting app, and putting 'about a 5 inch potato' as your unit of measurement, you need your head examining.

A cup of pineapple? Are you blending it first? It's not a bloody baking recipe. Why are you using volume to measure energy? The weight options are right there! Grams! Or ounces if you insist. But stop the madness.

Oh you're eating salmon? That's good, healthy, but you need to watch your portion size. How much are you having? "One piece"? Kiss a 5-inch piece of my arse.

Before I talk about the game, I need to talk a bit about the kind of gamer I am.

I love my RPGs. From Planescape: Torment to World of Warcraft, I've always been drawn to games that suck you into a world and keep you there. I've not been as into the survival/crafting genre, but I've played some of the standout titles in the genre (Minecraft and Subnautica, for example).

To Conan: Exiles, then. A rich and detailed IP I'd never explored before. A harsh world of conflict and beauty, of rich lore and mysteries to discover.

You start the game crucified and bollock naked but for an unremovable bracelet. Convicted of three hilarious crimes, you've been exiled to a remote land surrounded by a forcefield that will kill you as long as you're wearing the bracelet. Conan himself chops you off the cross, and you escape into the world.

The gameplay is a familiar survival/crafting/combat loop. Subnautica fans will feel at home. You build a base, venture out into the world to acquire resources, overcome enemies, gain skills and knowledge to boost your skills and experience, and venture out again to seek more resources, better gear, and clues about this land you've been thrust into.

And what a world. Cyclopean ruins dot the landscape, beautiful vistas can been seen in the far distance, and you can travel there if you're tough and determined. You'll have to contend with numerous factions, varied wildlife and even the weather itself.

There's so much more to say, but it's better experienced than described.

If you've felt the fear of delving into a dungeon where you felt you're underleveled, and the euphoria of beating it and escaping with a hoard of treasure.

If you get a kick out of climbing a mountain just to see what the next horizon brings.

If you love building a modest homestead into a fully-fledged stronghold with thralls to do your bidding.

If you want to find out what happened to the race of giants that built a civilisation before you ever set foot in the Exiled Lands.

This game is for you.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes the words have a worth of their own, dangit!