u/Ashamed_Squirrel777

Not an active crisis as I write this but somewhat recently I went into an unusual crisis for me that lasted about 1 year.

I remember being at the police station due to harmful thoughts to self and their mental health liason saw me and I remember his report after that said the same words of "They're not in a crisis. They're trying to get their way because of a home situation"

This made me super angry hearing this. No they didnt tell it to my face. Just said it was "interesting meeting you".

During another situation I met another mental health worker called out to me with police who I actually met before months ago and he seemed genuinely surprised like "Oh you really are suicidal?" While we stood near the highway. And no not an actual question way but he phrased it in a way of "but you look so calm" this person was okay to me and not outright being bad. I am simply using it as an example that people just don't see me as a priority.

Many times I actively went to the hospital myself and they continuously -- actually a dozen times or so, would talk me out of needing crucial help. Just told to "go home", "hospital isnt a good place for you" over and over again on repeat. Even after being sectioned several times. Immediately dismissive.

One time they sent me home while I was still drugged from an OD and could barely walk or think.

Even during a stay at a ward the same year some of the staff mocked me for self harming - and no I don't mean seeing old scars and saying "what good will that do" but hurting myself in the hospital and then mocking me saying "whats your age again" and after being brought back to the hospital because I didnt return for 6 hours, one of the workers walk up to me and say "we have other people to look after" as if I'm just being selfish and not at hospital because I'm unstable and suicidal. Not "I'm glad you are okay" but "yeah dont do that we got others to focus on".

Basically if anyone else has a bad situation? Understandable. When its me? Just try to be quiet in the corner while we focus on others.

This doesn't even cover 90% of the stress I had over the last year or 2 but I'm sick and tired. Because I internalise everything people use it to validate their assumptions and biases about me, use it to dismiss me and just be bullies.

I tried looking on YT and all Google did was tell me about BO6