u/Asti_WhiteWhiskers

39F 200lb 5' 11" non smoker

Itchy anus and mild bleeding, doctors not worried but I am. Been going on 4 months

About four months ago I started having INTENSE itching after every bowel movement. Once 15 to 30 minutes had passed I'd dab at it with toilet paper and see small dots of red or pink blood on the paper, but never in the stool. Then it started to happen whenever I'd exercise or walk a short distance even when I hadn't had a bowel movement.

I waited a couple weeks to see if it'd go away and when it didn't I went to urgent care. The doctor didn't see anything but said any bleeding is concerning and wanted me to go to my PCP right away. I did, but the PCP wasn't worried. She told me to wait a month. I did and with no improvement sent me to a colorectal surgeon with 20+ years experience and great reviews. By the time I got an appointment three months had passed and the bleeding was happening only once a month but with the daily itching remaining. At the same time I started seeing improvements in the bleeding my stool started coming out kind of oval looking...not ribbon flat but evenly flattened on one side.

The surgeon did an exam, listened to my symptoms, and told me I was fine. I showed him a picture of my bowel movements and he just nodded his head and said keep doing what you're doing.

It's been about a month since then and I still have itching after every bowel movement. Once again at about the month mark I had a tiny dot of red blood. I'm so frustrated. Am I crazy? Isn't bleeding concerning if it's happened periodically four months straight? Same with the itching? What about the flatter stools? I just feel crazy when I've heard my whole life that these are major red flag symptoms so I'd like to know if anyone else has had these issues.

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I have an appointment for a well woman exam coming up and wanted to ask about a hemorrhoid I have. It's been there about two and half months and has improved but won't go away. Would it be weird to ask if she can see it while she's down there for the pap smear? I know that's not exactly her area of expertise but the appointment I have for a GI doctor is months out and I'd feel so much better if she could just confirm it looks like a hemorrhoid.

EDIT: For some more clarity it's not the frequency of the hang outs, it's the duration. We will always hang out if she asks and vice versa unless we are genuinely booked.

I've been part of a fantastic long running friend group for around 15 years. We all get along really well and have a blast every time we are together and really enjoying catching up. We live within a half days drive of each other and used to have frequent visits, but they've gotten further in between. We went from spending 3+ nights when we get together down to just one night or a day trip. I'm perfectly fine with this - we are all much busier now and taking a whole weekend off just isn't feasible most of the time.

There's one friend in the group though that still wants to spend 3+ nights together. My other friends in the group are pretty firm about wanting to just spend one night, but prefer just a day activity. I feel the same way but I'm a little more lenient and I'm willing to get together for a couple of nights max - I like to have a few hours Sunday night to decompress, clean my house up from the stay, and get ready for work. If it's a holiday weekend I love hanging out but I want that extra day off for me to have time to myself (I'm an introvert if you can't tell haha).

My issue is how do you handle this? Every time I explain I want a few hours or that holiday to myself so I'll only have them over for two nights the friend feels a little hurt. I'm not tired of her or want her gone, but I don't want to immediately shower after they leave, go to bed, and wake up to go to work. They don't like being by themselves and they hate having downtime - it's restorative for me but depressing for them. I just don't want them to feel bad. My other friends will send out invites and have cut off times (everyone out at 11am), but the friend will hang around and keep talking and be oblivious to the "it's time to leave" hints from the hosts. Our group ages range from 35 - 43 if it matters.