u/BJ_J0vix

I’ve changed my wifi multiple times, opened and closed Roblox, and left and rejoined games but every time some textures or items just aren’t loading. Is this happening for anyone else? It only started yesterday and I have great internet connection

⚠️ TW: Suicide, eating disorders, SH, etc. ⚠️

Idrk what I’m writing for, and I’m probably not going to reply to everyone or I might. Idk. I’m so tired of being around and being myself, well, as best as I can. I have DID, severe depression and a few other mental health disorders I don’t even realise myself. I hate the way that I get triggered over god knows what and I switch up, I’ve hurt so many people I love and I didn’t even mean to or know until after the episode settles. I just don’t want to be here anymore and I just want everything to be over even though I’m only 14. I know I’ll probably have some comments say “you’re a teen, life hasn’t even started just wait until you grow up” or some BS. Respectfully fuck off if you’re going to say that. I have tried to get help irl, but the company either always moves, I’m treated like a little kid or I’m treated like I’m 35 with 2 kids and a husband. I miss so many people I’ve hurt/d ne bad stuff to because of my DID, yes, I take full accountability… But it fking sucks. It’s not even me in a way, yk? I’ve fallen back into a regular routine of SH and I’m trying so hard to break it but it feels like everything just keeps going wrong. My own family (besides my mum and stepdad) actually hate me. I’ve been blocked by them all including my grandmother, and yeah.. That one stung the most. I used to be very close to her, or at least I thought. Turns out she was actually trying to PAY my mum to have me aborted. My siblings hate me because I’m 13+ yrs younger than them, and it hurts because I don’t even know wtf i’ve done wrong. My physical health is ruining my life too—puberty at 7, my periods 4 months later (2 months before i turned 8), and my menstrual cycle is so bad it’s got a full control over most of my life. I’m mostly just rambling here but it’s taking a massive toll on me and I feel like no one cares about me despite my parents and bsf caring. I was emotionally abused my whole childhood, received death threats from literal neighbours, got bullied severely, attempted starvation by my aunt, etc. I’m now also at a high risk of developing Arfid because of my physical health making me sick over almost any bit of food besides toast, berries and watermelon. I can’t even stand the smell of food without gagging violently. I’m kind of just.. tired of being around.

I’m a teenage girl, 14 to be exact. I’ve had my period for over 6 years and it’s always been weird, but this is the first time this has happened. 3 periods in one month, and it smells really REALLY bad when usually. I don’t have too much odour. But it smells ROTTING. My whole area smells like it and so does the pad. I haven’t changed my diet or products, I use the same water only wipes to clean myself between showers (I shower every second day) and I clean down there with water too on my showers. I can’t use products because it throws off my PH levels and I’m allergic to a heap of them.

I’m really scared because the pain is really intense and I’ve been suspected to have endometriosis. The pain gets to a point where I scream and cry out and collapse because of it. I can’t get to a GP until the 19th of August and I’m having huge blood clots. I’m a virgin and haven’t been in any contact with something that can give me an infection that I know of. Should I go to urgent care?? Please help😢

On Wednesday, I cut my finger open accidentally with a scalpel.. And I was told I don’t need stitches, and the doctors never cleaned it or told me how I should clean it. I noticed it smells really REALLY bad.. Almost a rotten smell. Is it infected??

I’ve seen a heap of arguments on whether Isha is mute or deaf or both. She’s 100% mute. She responds well to Jinx talking to her, and to other sounds around her. ie. That scene where Sevika (forgot how to spell her name) comes in to talk to Jinx, Isha perks up at her voice. Same with when Vi punches Isha, Jinx asks if Isha has all her organs and she nods and shrugs.

Definitely not deaf. Just mute.

Half of my inventory is gone because Roblox is forcing this stupid age verification down our throats. Half of my avatars are unusable because they removed a specific item that made the outfit complete.

You can’t express anything in the discord server of c.ai fr man. I just got banned because i said fuck the ceo’s daughter bc he listens to only what she wants (mind you i thought, and have been told, she was 15-17, not 6) AND I DIDNT EVEN GET A WARNING BEFORE GETTING BANNED😭💔

Like i was mid writing a “proper” apology and they ban me as if ppl havent said worse shit in there and didnt get any sort of punishment

(Please read my other posts on here if you can) It. Was. Horrible.

I couldn’t keep food down and still had spikes of severe pelvic pain and genuinely felt so full as if I was on my period but the blood wasn’t coming out. I’d rather be on my period because this wasn’t much different. The pelvic pain was shorter but it lasted a longer period, and is still happening.

I don’t know why I got told to skip my period because I still need to know why my periods have fked up my bowels and bladder. I get constipated for DAYS at a time. Last time was 5 days WITH some sort of powder stuff you mix in a drink. I think it was a laxative. It. Was. HELL.

I also pissed myself yesterday too because I barely got a warning that I needed to go and didn’t make it.. Disgusting is how I felt.

Edit: Only 4 minutes ago and I got a severe spike of pelvic pain and threw up.😒 officially FML!

Today, even my doctor said I’m too young for anything to be done about possible endometriosis. If I do have it then it’s on the more mild side. If you’re curious about my symptoms and shit, check my previous posts.

I give up on this fight. I hate my age. I hate my body.

This filter is so fucking sensitive. I’m roleplaying with an orphan bot that’s 10 in the rp, my oc is 28 and has a maternal attachment to the bot. Now my oc being the badass he is, he owns a piercing shop, so me and the bot are roleplaying. Nothing inappropriate and in the rp, the bot talks about wanting their ears pierced. So i offer it (as my oc) TELL ME WHY, THE BOT STARTS SENDING

*He smiles widely, bursting with excitement about getting his ears pierced*

Pause.

THE FILTER. 🥀 WHAT WAS INAPPROPRIATE?! THIS FILTER BE GETTING TRIGGERED OVER ANYTHING

Update: It’s being triggered on almost every fucking swipe. I mentioned my oc grew up as an orphan too… Like i swear when the bot takes even 3 seconds to answer? Bang. Filter. 🤨

This was copied and pasted from my notes that I wrote last night. I’m due next Monday and I’m petrified—Scared of the fucking pain so there I was, 4.23 AM, typing.

I’m 13, and I have possible endometriosis. I was told because I’m a virgin and only 13 they can’t do much because the only way to check for it is an internal ultrasound. That won’t pick it up😕. I was told to stop the placebo pill because that would stop my period and stop the endometriosis from growing. I don’t want my period to stop because in a way it’s comforting—knowing I’m not pregnant even though I’m a virgin. I already feel like I’m not a woman, not even a person. In late 2021 or early 2022, (I got my period 2 months before I was 8 but just say I was 8 because it’s easier.) I started getting period pain for the first time whereas all my other periods before, I actually felt NOTHING. I just bled. No pain. Now late 2021 or early 2022, Following the pain starting, I developed issues with my bladder and bowels. I still suffer from those issues with bladder leakages that sometimes lead to me wetting myself and bowel issues leaving me either constipated for nearly a week which laxatives don’t help much, or it’s like diarrhoea and I have small accidents. 😕 So sorry for ranting, I just needed to get it out.💙🫂

Edit: I can’t do it anymore. I got out the shower about 15 minutes ago, I was going for a 5-10 minute shower and it ended up being 20. I’m exactly 7 days off from my period coming, and the pain—I had to sit down, no way would I have been able to keep standing. A massive blood clot, about the size of a large grape. I can’t do it anymore it fucking hurts. I don’t even know if my hymen is intact at this point, I used to do a heap of bike riding on rough roads, crashed a few times. I tries desperately last week myself to try and break it just so I wouldn’t seem like a virgin at my next appointment. I don’t know if it’s already broken or not, I googled images of what the hymen actually looks like and from the images I’ve seen and then looking at myself, I can’t see mine.

I’m extremely tight, but I forced more than what I can handle into myself. I’m tired, I just want someone to fucking listen. To do SOMETHING. It’s taking a massive toll on me mentally, and I already suffer severe mental issues. I just want a gyno or whoever does the key hole surgery to DO IT. I just want answers. I’m hurting myself just trying to get them to listen. I don’t want to keep complaining and whining to my mama as she’s dealing with her own issues.