u/Beautiful_Wishbone15

Theres this stray cat who always visits me and I have been feeding him for him to get comfortable being near so I can catch him and get him neutered. But I never have had a cat before. I know stuff about cats, but I don't know how to transition him to indoor or how to tell if hes litter trained. I don't mind having to litter train him as I love the little guy and it makes me sad to see him outside, I know it's very risky for cats and other animals. ​​

And I'm not talking daily baths, I'm talking once a month. Yes I have dogs.

Anyways, for some reason people act like it's weird to bathe your dogs often. People bathing their dogs once or twice a year is WAYYY more common than I thought. I do know its nuanced as to why some people might so that, examples being: the dog has physical issues or behavioural issues making it hard to bathe them often, the owner themselves might ​​​​be struggling physically or mentally and that's why they dont bathe their dog often or the dog thrives on little baths, etc. There are so many more reasons.

But I draw the line when people act like its instantly harmful for the dog to be bathed once a month. I bathe my dog once, sometimes twice (not closely set) a month and his coat is soft and shiny. His skin isn't dry or flaky by any means​. So I do have a problem with people going "bathing your dog monthly is TERRIBLE for their skin!" Because it's not. ​Again, im not gonna shame you if you don't bathe your dog monthly. But I don't think the idea of "bathing them monthly​ is bad" is something that should be going around. I don't mind "bathing monthly doesn't work for some dogs" or something like that. ​​​​​​​

Eta: I meant dog owners implying bathing dogs monthly is bad for ALL dogs in the title. lol my bad​

I LOVE to collect information and I always wanna learn more. If anyone has any data or statistics about slavery, please share. Thank you. ​

I know this isn't nearly as serious as other problems. So just an FYI that I am already aware this is a really small thing. ​

But it's just annoying to me how white people in fandoms and cosplay spaces treat BIPOC characters and cosplayers in general. Like a black person can't cosplay an Asian character because the cosplayer isn't Asian but the white person can?? Or for an example, the skin tone of tiana won't matter since Ariel's didn't matter for the live action??

You also give em an inch and they take a mile. You say they can cosplay black characters and then they take that as a sign to do black face.. Sigh. Just a little rant. ​

They will gladly and easily dehumanize immigrants and easily speak so violently about them. Then these same people complain about "'cracker" being a "slur" for white people. Like bitch, you just said you wanted to shoot all immigrants? God. And it's the entitlement for me because I heard this from white Americans. 🙄 like bitch! You didnt ​​come here all sweet and shit but we ain't allowed to generalize you. Generalizing and being violent towards innocent immigrants is okay though, as long as they arent white I suppose.

(And yes I'm reffering to both legal and illegal immigrants)

I just want to quit without being told to be Christian again. It didn't help and made my problems worse. I don't like it as a common suggestion. I wish there was a addiction recovery group tht didn't involve religion.

I am black and i haven't been watching many natural hair videod lately or looking at natural hair often. And i realized it made a big difference in my confidence to see other people loving their hair and happy in it. I do not hate my hair, but lately i have been having bad thoughts surrounding type 4 hair. Sometimes it feels like these thoughts pop out of the blue and im like "ew i shouldnt think that." Watching natural hair videos and looking at cute natural hair styles made a difference for me regarding those thoughts. Im not quite sure how to phrase it though.

I despise when people say this, because dog shows ARE a business. The judges basically decide which dogs will and won't be bred by who gets the title of "best in show". And the problem with that is that many dogs clearly shouldn't be getting best in show. Some shouldn't be bred at all! But because the judges said so, some deformed dog can be bred because they like the way they look.

I've seen compassionate and responsible breeders be rejected for not meeting show standards despite the dogs being healthy and thriving otherwise​​​​. But because they aren't deformed, they won't be getting a ribbon which means they are an EVILLL backyard breeder or puppy mill!!​

I don't want to be rude but I'm starting to see why people use purebred snobs as an insult.​

Just a few days ago i saw this white grandmother with 3 mixed race children. They werent being a bother at all and were sweet with normal child energy. And she was being all rude and snappy with them for no reason. I dont want to assume things but it made me suspicious. Yes she could have been stressed of having a bad day but its no excuse. I've been there before with white family members. I am not mixed but my sister is, and it gets more complicated so i wont go too into detail.

I have been mistreated and treated weird and heard weird things i'd rather not go through again. I do not trust white family members (mostly elderly ones) with mixed race children or monoracial children. Most of them havent unpacked white supremacy and do or say harmful things.

An example would be a handful black people celebrating the death of a white child. These people would rightfully so be called out for it and harrassed for it (which would be deserved, havent seen this exact example but something similar)

Another example would be thousands of white people joining a facebook group to make fun of and celebrate the death of black children or celebrating the dehumanization of immigrants. (i have seen this one)

^^ These people dont get NEARLY as much hate as the first example did despite them both being deserving of it. The white group of people doing evil things (which was larger and got defended frequently) did not get the same reaction to the group of bipoc doing evil things. This shit pisses me off to no end. ONE video of a BIPOC saying horrible things gets many people mad and many people (usually conservative or right leaning) make multiple videos and they go viral or get plenty views. The multiple (decently populated) facebook groups of white supremacists get ZERO attention other than a few instagram reels or youtube shorts. And the shorts or reels are fairly unpopular.

I hate this because it feels like a "SEE, white people have ZERO privilege and you're just making it up", no, its just that your nasty shit dont get nearly as much backlash as when we do it!

(and this isnt to defend horrible actions, but white people get away with it. lets be real.)

Or black queer subreddits for women that aren't mostly men? ​I want to connect to my queerness more but I find it hard to feel more connected to it since most LGBT spaces online seem to be mostly white people and men. Dont get me started on white feminists. ​​

found some: https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerWomenOfColor/

https://www.reddit.com/r/queerblackladies/

Specifically black fatigue as i am black. As much as i do ignore, its not as easy as people say it is. Some might be able to thrive in an enviroment that despises them, but i cant. It comes to a point. I can cope with people not liking me but theres a difference between that and being treated like an alien.

I am so sick of all this microagressions. It makes me feel annoyed and that in turn makes me feel angry i have been trying to build good habits which helps, but im still so fucking irratated. Racism is so normalized that i cant give af anymore about people coming at me for not trusting white people immediantly. Like bitch, why do you think that is? Often times i feel like people underestimate how much racism can impact your mental health. Misogyny, homophobia (im bisexual) and my family trauma dont help either. I am grateful for this group because i dont need people coming at my neck for "anti white racism".

I struggle with good habits and hobbies as my mental health is REALLY bad. Often times i feel like people underestimate the mental health impact of being marginilized, especially if there is multiple marginilized identities you have.

So i wanted to share that i have been building better habits and staying on top of cleaning more :). Finally cleaned my room and it felt great. Also i am trying to journal more and do poems too!

I am a black bisexual woman (possibly neurodivergent but i need to get diagnosed first) and despite those things being harmless on their own, the way i get treated for those things are not. And on top of that my family is ass too. Yippe!! And it takes a hit on my mental health. Would love to talk to anyone if anyone wants. Im feeling chatty today.

Obviously i wouldnt think it for ALL nparents, but i am curious if it is a common thing. My mother had lots of debt and would work a lot to pay it off. But she'd also make terrible money choices and go on VACATION while shes got lots of debt to pay off. Then she'd work overtime for a vacation that me and my siblings never asked for and would be fine without.

Or she'd buy something extra thats expensive and could've gone towards savings (which if she was a normal person i wouldnt mind).

I was watching a video about the reason why abraham lincoln abolished slavery and people came running to his defense with: "but he atleast freed the slaves!!", " but hes not the devil incarnate!! He still freed the slaves and it was so hard to do that!"

Like omfg. I dont even want to say shit no more like jesus! That shit pissed me off so bad.

I dont mean to spam. Just wanted to rant.

I see lots of (understandable and good) hate towards the breeding of toadline bullies. Yet i cant help but think if the great and big AKC liked them and had them as a breed, the defense of their breeding would increase dramatically.

For whatever reason, lots of people worship the AKC for making their own bullshit and allowing bullshit from parent clubs. Why? Because they're health tested.. So the pug that cant breath doesnt matter because it ran for 10 minutes or so. It doesnt matter because it is up to conformation and the parents are health tested and also can run for 10 minutes.

A breeder could health test, exercise, fulfill, feed well, take good basic care of the dogs, socialize, does ENS, but none of it matters all because the dogs ain't purebred. I dont plan at breeding at all, but for example: i take my 10 pound chihuahua with another out of conformation chihuahua and bred them while doing the things listed above. These dogs can have the best temperment ever but it wont matter if they arent up to physical breed standards.

You could do all the things listed about and get grouped in with bybs all because they aint up to conformation or they aint purebred. But breeding pugs and frenchies is "ethical" because they have health tests and fit their lovely conformation standards!

For example, the JRTCA does not like associating with the AKC for this reason. The AKC does focus on looks more than purpose and its another reason as to why jack russells arent always purebred if i remember currectly per JRTCA standards. People would probably say the JRTCA or any other breed club like it are "bad" because of not associating with the AKC.

I could teach my neighbors dog how to sit and then go around calling myself a dog trainer. And this is one thing i heavily disliked, there are no certifications required to call yourself a dog trainer the same way you need to study, get certifications, etc, to be a vet.

Obviously training animals and being their doctor is very different. But i dislike how anyone can easily slap a prong on any dog.

Not to say that its entirely impossible for a prong to help a dog, but i personally feel like these should be prescription tools. As in, they can only be used or acessed by proffessional dog trainers.

That also brings me back to dog trainers needing requirements and higher standards. For the most part, i am against how quickly people are to jump to a prong whenever their dog has issues. But like i said i am open to prongs being used if there were much higher standards for them and the people who use them.

My overall stance on prongs as that i am against them most of the time, and i feel like they should not be used to cure your lack of patience. Which is what most people use them for. I can see why many people are against them 100 of the time.

I am seeing a lot of these so-called dog trainers say they can fix a dog in 2 weeks with a prong or e-collar and the dog returns shut down and stressed out its mind because the trainer did not truly have patience.

And to make it worse, some of these dog trainers act like giving rewards is the worst thing ever. They act like if you dont correct your dog then you must be throwing treats mindlessly at your dog while its lunging and barking at people. And treat you like you are weak because you're "too soft" with your dog all because it doesnt have a prong on or e-collar on.

I can see reason as to why prong collars and e-collars would be demonized, but demonizing treats??? What reason for that would be valid??

Anyways, thats all i have to say. I wanted to share my brain vomit to read what others have to say.

Why? Because my mother is like that. I wish people would stop acting that because your child didnt end up in jail, that you ACED parenting and are the best parent ever!! As if people arent shitty outside of jail. Sure you might not be in jail but you're still a child abuser, cheater and enabler. This list would be WAAAAAAAAY longer if i didnt simplify it. Plenty of people outside of prisons and jails are still bad people, they just arent doing illegal shit or at the very least getting caught doing it.

No, your child being not being in jail isnt good enough. You actually have to make sure they will be a decent human being.

I dont understand how forgiveness brings ease. I can respect that for other people but for myself i can already "move on" or accept my family members are assholes. Forgiveness to abusers is like telling them "hey, im not hurt by your actions anymore even though you'll keep doing them and you dont feel bad for it."

And me personally, i dont see how it would help me heal when i already got the "letting go of them mentally" part down. Their actions still hurt me but it hurts me less because i expect it from them. Or atleast thats how it is for me.

Like for the love of god for ONCE i want to talk about my abuse and for people to support ME. Not play devils advocate, not try to be a knight in shining armor for my abusers, just ME. For once in my life i want for the way I feel to be focused on when talking about my abusers. And focusing how it hurt ME.