u/Beautiful_Wishbone15

Obviously i wouldnt think it for ALL nparents, but i am curious if it is a common thing. My mother had lots of debt and would work a lot to pay it off. But she'd also make terrible money choices and go on VACATION while shes got lots of debt to pay off. Then she'd work overtime for a vacation that me and my siblings never asked for and would be fine without.

Or she'd buy something extra thats expensive and could've gone towards savings (which if she was a normal person i wouldnt mind).

I was watching a video about the reason why abraham lincoln abolished slavery and people came running to his defense with: "but he atleast freed the slaves!!", " but hes not the devil incarnate!! He still freed the slaves and it was so hard to do that!"

Like omfg. I dont even want to say shit no more like jesus! That shit pissed me off so bad.

I dont mean to spam. Just wanted to rant.

I see lots of (understandable and good) hate towards the breeding of toadline bullies. Yet i cant help but think if the great and big AKC liked them and had them as a breed, the defense of their breeding would increase dramatically.

For whatever reason, lots of people worship the AKC for making their own bullshit and allowing bullshit from parent clubs. Why? Because they're health tested.. So the pug that cant breath doesnt matter because it ran for 10 minutes or so. It doesnt matter because it is up to conformation and the parents are health tested and also can run for 10 minutes.

A breeder could health test, exercise, fulfill, feed well, take good basic care of the dogs, socialize, does ENS, but none of it matters all because the dogs ain't purebred. I dont plan at breeding at all, but for example: i take my 10 pound chihuahua with another out of conformation chihuahua and bred them while doing the things listed above. These dogs can have the best temperment ever but it wont matter if they arent up to physical breed standards.

You could do all the things listed about and get grouped in with bybs all because they aint up to conformation or they aint purebred. But breeding pugs and frenchies is "ethical" because they have health tests and fit their lovely conformation standards!

For example, the JRTCA does not like associating with the AKC for this reason. The AKC does focus on looks more than purpose and its another reason as to why jack russells arent always purebred if i remember currectly per JRTCA standards. People would probably say the JRTCA or any other breed club like it are "bad" because of not associating with the AKC.

I could teach my neighbors dog how to sit and then go around calling myself a dog trainer. And this is one thing i heavily disliked, there are no certifications required to call yourself a dog trainer the same way you need to study, get certifications, etc, to be a vet.

Obviously training animals and being their doctor is very different. But i dislike how anyone can easily slap a prong on any dog.

Not to say that its entirely impossible for a prong to help a dog, but i personally feel like these should be prescription tools. As in, they can only be used or acessed by proffessional dog trainers.

That also brings me back to dog trainers needing requirements and higher standards. For the most part, i am against how quickly people are to jump to a prong whenever their dog has issues. But like i said i am open to prongs being used if there were much higher standards for them and the people who use them.

My overall stance on prongs as that i am against them most of the time, and i feel like they should not be used to cure your lack of patience. Which is what most people use them for. I can see why many people are against them 100 of the time.

I am seeing a lot of these so-called dog trainers say they can fix a dog in 2 weeks with a prong or e-collar and the dog returns shut down and stressed out its mind because the trainer did not truly have patience.

And to make it worse, some of these dog trainers act like giving rewards is the worst thing ever. They act like if you dont correct your dog then you must be throwing treats mindlessly at your dog while its lunging and barking at people. And treat you like you are weak because you're "too soft" with your dog all because it doesnt have a prong on or e-collar on.

I can see reason as to why prong collars and e-collars would be demonized, but demonizing treats??? What reason for that would be valid??

Anyways, thats all i have to say. I wanted to share my brain vomit to read what others have to say.

Why? Because my mother is like that. I wish people would stop acting that because your child didnt end up in jail, that you ACED parenting and are the best parent ever!! As if people arent shitty outside of jail. Sure you might not be in jail but you're still a child abuser, cheater and enabler. This list would be WAAAAAAAAY longer if i didnt simplify it. Plenty of people outside of prisons and jails are still bad people, they just arent doing illegal shit or at the very least getting caught doing it.

No, your child being not being in jail isnt good enough. You actually have to make sure they will be a decent human being.

I dont understand how forgiveness brings ease. I can respect that for other people but for myself i can already "move on" or accept my family members are assholes. Forgiveness to abusers is like telling them "hey, im not hurt by your actions anymore even though you'll keep doing them and you dont feel bad for it."

And me personally, i dont see how it would help me heal when i already got the "letting go of them mentally" part down. Their actions still hurt me but it hurts me less because i expect it from them. Or atleast thats how it is for me.

Like for the love of god for ONCE i want to talk about my abuse and for people to support ME. Not play devils advocate, not try to be a knight in shining armor for my abusers, just ME. For once in my life i want for the way I feel to be focused on when talking about my abusers. And focusing how it hurt ME.

Well, clearly not enough of them because here i am in need of therapy and traumatized. My mother new she could do better, she just didnt want to go out of her way because that would mean admitting shes wrong.

I dont mean to spam this sub by posting, but while looking for resources on slavery i keep finding excuses made by white historians. "It wasnt THAT bad!!! We didnt dehumanize you at all! All you did was pick cotton and get whipped if you didnt!", y'all did WAY more than that. WAY worse than that.

And i HATE when they treat it as a one-off incident. "yeaaaah buck breaking was real but it only happened a teeny itty bit!!"

This shit is why i dont trust or like them, they always be saying shit to justify it and then you look into it yourself and it was way worse. Just because not every black male slave experienced buck breaking doesnt mean it barely happened. Its one thing to be factual but it still rubs me the wrong way, it sounds like they are trying to downplay it by putting emphasize on how "little" it happened. For example, them bombing black towns. They'll be like "okaayy but it was only a few..." SO? Idc if it was a few, y'all still did it proudly! They have the education and still finding ways to cope with they white guilt. Education is elevation, but clearly doesnt mean people will be acting like it all the time.

Dont read if you don't wanna be annoyed alongside me.

​Seeing them say things like "we fought to end slavery " and say "but black people owned slaves too​! " annoys me because you can feel their guilt and they trying anything BUT unpacking racism and their white privilege to cope with it. Like shit y'all colonized a lot and did a lot of shitty things, if I were y'all ​I would feel shitty too. Which I have for other privileges I have (Cisgender and fully abled) but guess what, I didn't take it out on trans people or disabled people. I reflected and began unpacking any trans phobia or ableism I found within myself.

Y'all got no excuses, it's honestly why so many people don't bother differentiating y'all from y'all ancestors. Cause y'all be pulling the same shit and excusing, downplaying, etc, the shit they did! ​​​

I've heard that "love bombing" is the right term but i've only seen it in the context of bring given gifts, so i dont know if what my mother does is "extreme enough" to be called love bombing because she doesnt give gifts but she does either:

1. Act like it didnt happen

Or 2. Say shes sorry and give me hugs. She would especially do this one the most when i was younger and she yelled at me or hit me, then would hold me and apologize and say she "had to". She obviously didnt change and it was a cycle of this.

Not just the bad ones, but the neutral or good ones. Im dominican for context, spanish is our main language and i want to learn more of it to be able to communicate with other dominicans better but i also dont want to at the same time. Why? Because i know we likely would have had a different language if it werent for them spainiards. Im feeling so conflicted, i need some words of advice or comfort. It is my culture, but i feel isolated from other dominicans since im anti-thiest and also embrace my blackness. Im anti-thiest because i dislike religion for many reasons, one of them being that it was forced upon my people.

I cant tell other dominicans this for obvious reasons, i'll get told im "being too woke". Despite the way i feel, i also am proud of being a black dominican because of what we endured. But colonization did its damage on my country and still has its poison stuck in my country. I would prefer to stick to just journaling this thought, but i need some advice and/or support.

Y'all be in the wrong and you just wanna argue and argue and argue and be right. Y'all get disproven and given facts n shit and y'all double the fuck down.

And THAT is why we dont bother with teaching y'all shit. Because you dont ask to listen and learn, you ask you argue. It is pointless to argue with y'all when y'all dont wanna learn shit.

Im not gonna take my sweet time explaining to you the differences between bipoc making generalizations about white people and white people making generalizations about us. Why? BECAUSE YOU WONT LISTEN. I aint gonna tell you how racism cannot systematically harm you when you're just gonna double the fuck down! Its not worth the time of most bipoc to try and teach y'all when y'all just look for points to argue instead of accepting being in the wrong. It is a FACT that systematic racism is alive and well. Not an opinion, but a fact.

Its been on my mind, and im wondering if y'all would love to have it posted when im done. It will take me a bit though because i want to verify the resources well. If you have any good resources to add, feel free to drop them here!

They always have some audacity to be comparing slavery to animal cruelty. Literally comparing black people to animals. And also seem to dislike indigenous people and their hunting practices. God. They are so fucking annoying, i just had to get this off my chest.

White ppl be stressing the FUCK out of me. Sometimes i dont mind hearing about shitty things they did, but other times it makes me feel all sorts of emotions. Mainly stress, worry, and even a bit of fear. It gives my forehead this weird warm feeling and it makes me feel like im a bit shaky, also it makes me feel a bit of nausia. My heart rate goes up. Im making this post so i can keep it mind and also to remind y'all that taking a break from social media (or very carefully curating them) is important. I do have a scrolling problem so this might be a bit tough for me.