AITAH for simmering over a wedding invite that included a request for 200 desserts?
EDIT. Thank you. I am grateful and amazed. My friend is the one who relayed the request from her daughter, so yes she knows.
If you find I am the AH, I respect that. I called her today and said I couldn’t find a way to bake them and transport them safely and that I was uncomfortable about working for two days plus all the ordering of ingredients and cost.
It got a bit tense of course and then I said I was uncomfortable even showing up, with or without the goods. We hung up and now i have to see. I will not do any outreach. They will be so busy! I made myself too self-centered here. I will not be replying further but again, thank you.
—-————Original post: My friend J. and I go back to our very first jobs in our field, and we've been close for over 40 years, with a couple of neutral silences--I was dealing the potential breakup of my marriage, she had a child with bulimia. The older child, her daughter, has been engaged for a couple of years and the wedding is in August.
J. said she went to some trouble to "clear" the invite for me; her daughter envisioned a wedding in a giant barn with just the closest of friends and family, about 175 people. J. had to tell her, about me, "she's my best friend!" before it was agreed to. Her daughter's solution was to invite me, but to say in the invite, "In lieu of a wedding present, please bring 200 of your famous ______" which was a refrigerated dessert that made the New York Times when I owned a bakery, bringing us some kind of fame and good repeat business. I have not had the commercial kitchen for 10 years.
This dessert has to be refrigerated if it's not served immediately, and as I said it is to be a barn wedding. Plus the drive to the wedding, with 200 desserts in the trunk and backseat, takes almost four hours.
AITAH for being mad about this? My friend J. would do anything for her children, at her own expense. This feels as if it's at my expense, and I'm so resentful that I might "come down with pneumonia" the day before the wedding and skip it. But that's not friendship, of course. Weddings make everyone insane. I appreciate your input--this is gnawing at me.