u/BrisketWhileGolfing

Hey y’all. Our home was decimated by a tree last Saturday and sustained significant structural damage. I’m working with Travelers and they haven’t given me any reason to be concerned yet but I’m looking to connect with people who have dealt with this situation before so that I am prepared and know what to ask for, look for, etc. It will likely become a complete tear down and rebuild situation depending on if the foundation took damage.

Someone else recommended hiring a personal insurance adjuster to work on my behalf and deal with the insurance company. Is that typically a good idea? Any other tips or advice? This is all uncharted territory for me and I want to make sure we aren’t taken for a ride.

My wife is a SAHM. It wasn’t something we planned for but her remote job was eliminated while she was near the end of maternity leave. Baby is now 20 months old and we have been getting by on one income as I have a relatively high paying job. We just had our one year anniversary in April as well.

I go to the office twice a week and work from home on the other days.

I want to get some outside perspective from other moms on our situation and whether I’m being reasonable or not.

My wife primarily handles cooking all meals for the baby and most dinners for us during the week. On weekends I will cook or we will order in to give her a break. I also cook us breakfast during the days I work from home.

I do all outdoor maintenance (we have a large front and back yard) and split laundry and dish duty (65% her 35% me realistically).

When I get home from work I play with the baby and try to give my wife a break. I also offer to take the baby with me to the hardware store etc to give her a break but she doesn’t like the idea of me going somewhere alone with the baby so I haven’t. That part is a bit frustrating because I’m very capable and it seems like she doesn’t trust me.

She orders groceries or has me pick them up on the way home and she never takes the baby anywhere on her own other than a walk through our neighborhood.

I have offered to get a baby sitter so that we can have time to ourselves but she doesn’t like the idea of a baby sitter. She only lets her mom watch the baby. Which is another point of frustration because she doesn’t seem to trust my mom in the same way, who has also offered to help.

I also encourage her to get out of the house and do things for herself like get a haircut, go walk around target, go out with her friends, get her nails done, etc but she never does. I also offer to take her and baby to the park to get them out of the house but she always makes an excuse for why it’s a bad idea.

I guess I’m just frustrated because she likes to complain about how hard it is to be a SAHM (I know it is hard) but when I try to offer solutions on how we can try to make things easier for her she gets upset and says she just wants sympathy. Not solutions.

That’s frustrating to me because I feel like I go to work to allow her to stay home, but she’s always miserable and all I hear are complaints. And in my mind, if she’s just going to be miserable and not make any changes to improve the situation, then maybe she would happier going back to work. But of course I’m an asshole for suggesting that and that’s not what she wants.

I’m just at my wits end and getting very frustrated at this situation and not sure how to make it better at this point. I feel like I do a lot more than most and try to be a good father and husband but it goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

What do I do??