u/BruhStop_26

Including savings, retiring, and 401k?

I’m living at home for free, going back to school in my early 30s, for a bachelors degree that will cop me a job around $21-25/hr (IT) with benefits. And I probably won’t be able to get a job until late 34/early 35.

I’m single probably for life, unless I can find a platonic life partner to share expenses but not a bedroom with, so I don’t expect a dual income dispute my dearest wishes.

I’m lucky that my parents have a 50k I inheritance set aside for me for a down payment on a house (obviously going to be a >100k rancher)

Is this doable? Is anyone else making similar and having a comfortable life?

Have all my main generic core classes done, but Covid knocked me out of school for a few years (it was slow going anyway with unmedicated adhd/anxiety) and I’m now in my early 30s trying to land a 401k in a non-trade.

Looking to get a regular 9-5 or help desk role at my local government and trying to decide which degree to get; general ba of science in Information Technology OR ba of science in Information Technology with a minor in business.

I’m concerned the general it ba would be too rigorous for me programming wise, since I have previously 0 experience in programming/any coding language. The business minor seems like a good middle ground balance between actually indepth computer work, verses someone making sure the network is up at the local county offices.

Basically I wanna ask if a business minor would be an incentive or totally irrelevant to help desk work, especially later in life if I wanted to get a higher team lead/assisstant manager type role.

(I’m going on two weeks no sleep/little food from the stress of it all, I beg of you)

Edit; there’s also a “Bachelor of Business Administration with a major in management information systems” option???

I’m not stupid, but I feel so overwhelmed and brain foggy from the lack of sleep/malnutrition and want to figure out what’s going to give me my best shot.

Long story short; I’m in my early 30s, audhd, live at home, had a spiral/breakdown about working $15/hr retail till I die. So I reapplied to go back to my old college and actually finish a degree (for IT help desk work). I already had horrible insomnia, and bad BAD anxiety, to the point of the stress of just contemplating this life change has had me unable to sleep or eat for almost a week, with heart palpitations.

The only reason I’m not hospitalized from lack of food/sleep is ensure protein shakes, and because my mother is newly on a cpap machine and had me take one of her generic lunesta’s she’s prescribed every other night.

I was actually able to sleep those nights, and the nights I didn’t take it I either only got 1-2 hours collectively of bad sleep a night, or the one night I had a bad anxiety attack that left me doing breathing exercises laying flat on my back on the floor, my sister gave me one of her panic attack meds, so I was able to sleep and not have heart palpitations from stress the next day. And before this I’ve tried all of the usual; melatonin, otc sleep aids, no screens before bed, breathing exercises, trying “mindfulness”, not associating my bed with stress/hanging out in it during the day/waking hours, to little to no effect on a USUAL schedule, let alone when I’m freaking out over life major changes and terrified challenges.

TLDR; BAD ANXIETY, REAL BAD, on top of regular life long insomnia since I was a child. I usually just waited myself out until 4-7 am, then got some sleep from exhaustion. But also I need to get back on adhd meds to improve my life and be able to actually focus on and pass my future classes. How can I approach this topic with my dr in this upcoming appointment without sounding like “lazy person” who just wants a quick fix? ADHD, anxiety, sleep, and maybe appetite meds? That’s a LOT! And classes start mid August, so there’s only 3 months to start to figure it out in a functional way.

I don’t want to be labeled “drug seeking”, but I am very specifically seeking drugs to help me with my life long insomnia, which only gets worse with adhd meds, and my very bad anxiety (which I should also be on medication for)

Also how bad would my mother potentially get for sharing her generic lunesta in these emergencies? At home ofc it’s no big deal sharing meds in an emergency, but to a professional like my cpc, I’m concerned this could get people in trouble and lead her to not want to help me? The only way I can think of to start the convo is “my anxiety around this major life change has left me with constant anxiety that leaves me completely unable to sleep or eat, and the only thing that helped was my mothers prescribed sleep aid, and it actually WORKED. I’m also concerned that with a return to adhd medication, which I will absolutely need to function in class, will only exacerbate my insomnia”

Im currently living at home and trying to go back to school as an adult for the next two years, but looking towards the future in general terms.

Long story short, I have 50k inheritance saved by my parents in a cd account for a house down payment (of which I’ll only ever bother with a >&100,000 1-2 bed/bath as I’m single), and I’ll inherit a 2015 Volvo.

I’m eligible for usaa through my father, and am heavily considering bundling my car/home insurance in a few years, does anyone have experience with this? How affordable is it?

I (31) have hypermobile joints and left with a bad gpa, I’m considering taking some certifications and getting this 50k job, but it’s impossible that I’ll ever get married/have a dual income, and surviving comfortably on 50k for the rest of my life (after researching) seems impossible in this economy.

How competitive is the AU dental hygienist career/program in Augusta? How are yall finding the program?

Is there a cheaper community college nearby yall did any undergrad at? I was young and unmedicated for adhd when I first went to Au, and I completely bungled my schooling and gpa, but I don’t know if I could afford to do it all over again at Au, considering I’d have to continue working to maintain my healthcare plan.

It’s the constant regular miserable spiral of “I can’t afford to live ‘comfortably’ and buy a house on a single income” hand-in-miserable-hand with “all my friends eventually find someone more important to them than me, get married, and now I’m alone.”

I (31 nb) would love nothing more than to find my best friend, get married, move in together, and retire together. Completely platonic, with separate bedrooms and a shared living space, but it feels like that’s never going to happen.

There’s just no common space for aroace people to meet up irl or online. And yes I’ve tried AceSpace, it’s absolutely dead.

I’m so jealous that heterosexual people seem to be able to just go from person to person and date around for a while and find their person, while the aroace pool of people is infinitesimal and scattered across the world with little to no way to find eachother. Like if I was able to platonic date person after person in my area, YEAH I’d probably be able to find the right person for me, but it feels like in the actual real world any success stories I hear about qpr couples are truely unicorn level rare.

Genuinely I wish I could just skip forward to finding someone to pool funds with, share a life, and prioritize. Like aro ace mail order spouse PLEASE.

I’m 31, college drop out, (covid, but I wasn’t doing well before that anyway) working minimum wage, living at home with emotionally abusive dad and emotionally and physically dependent disabled mother and older sibling.

I had a come-to-Jesus moment about how miserable I’ve been my entire life, and how I need to go study and get certifications, so I can get a living wage and move out.

I’m asexual and aromantic, so I’ll never have a dual income unless the impossible happens and I find a platonic life partner, and I’m so terrified I’ll have no savings and never be able to retire. Even with certs and a “good” job, I have bad joints and couldn’t do any physically demanding job and make more than around 21-25 $/hr, like 48-52k a year, while “comfortable” living in my state is around 100k a year. (Doable if I where able to get married and we both had a 50k a year job, but there’s no such thing as aroace dating sphere)

My room is an utter wreck, the house is still trashed with all the physical hoarder level STUFF my dads accumulated, and after the damage from a hurricane two years ago.

I’m horrible at studing, always have been, even though I know the certs are doable in general.

It’s just so much easier to work this minimum wage job and coast / be a caretaker to my family for the rest of my and my families life, inherit the house with my sibling when our parents pass, and survive on shitty jobs and inherited money. It feels so physically terrible to study and not do something to feed into the dopamine.

I’m so close to deleting tiktok because I just sit in the car after work scrolling for hours.

There’s been so much stress the last few years with the medical crisis’s my family has gone through the past 6 years, and now that everything’s finally stabilizing I’m trying to get my shit together, but with how horrible the economy is, it feels impossible.

I find myself sometimes wishing something horrible happens to my family so I don’t have to be responsable for and take care of all of them for the rest of my life, and i know it’s awful and I’d be a wreck. It’s like “if only I could come into a LOT of money suddenly and not have to worry about ever having to rent an apartment for the rest of my life to ever be happy.”

TLDR;

The economy is impossible for a single person to be comfortable without being truely exceptional. I’m average and even if I power through my awful adhd and be able to get some certifications and get a 40-50k a year job, I’ll still never be able to buy a house of my own. The idea of having to wait for my parents to pass to be able to inherit my parents house (with my also-live-at-home 30smth sibling, who is dependent on me for transportation), is rotten and awful.

I just wish it where possible for a single person of average intelligence and skill to be able to work a sit down 9-5 and earn enough to retire and own a modest house. Like I don’t want a yacht, I don’t want the world, I just want to finally be happy for the first time in my life.

After several family health crisis’s, dropping out of school at 25 due to Covid because of the risk to said family members, and being unmedicated for adhd, I’m now 31, living at home, and facing minimum wage till I die. Had a come to Jesus moment about it all, and am now planning my on going back to school.

I always had problems with classes because of my unmedicated adhd (which I’ve set up to go see my doctor about) and not havin any accomidations, and I’m concerned I won’t be cut out for the schooling required for the degree.

I’ve always done better at detail oriented work, loved balancing chemical equations, was interested in the practicality of stat and especially making my calculator equations efficient. I did solidly in math in highschool, and only struggled in college because I never did the homework or studied. I’m older now and aware of my bad habits, how my brain works, and I’m going to get medicated.

So now I’m wondering how complicated is the math in a cs degree? Some people have said “basic algebra” and others have said something MUCH more rigorous, and I just want to get a clear picture before I dedicate my already low funds to a degree I might flunk out of.

I’m 31, and have coasted through my entire adult life. I didn’t get my adhd diagnosis until I was almost out of highschool, and didn’t get informally diagnosed (primary care went down my list of recognised behaviors/traits, and the symptoms/diagnosis checklist, anc I deeply connected with the overwhelming majority of it, scored moderate on the raads-r and cat-q) with autism (and anxiety and depression) and recognise my behavioral patterns until my late 20s.

I live at home, and work a $15/hr job at the first and only place I’ve ever been employed at for 10 years this July. I was previously enrolled in a university after a depression/anxiety fueled gap year, faced multiple counts of academic probation due to being unmedicated for my aforementioned adhd, and dropped out when COVID hit when my family faced a lot of health risks.

I was faced with the reality of living in this house with my boarderline hoarder situation disabled parents, in a damaged-from-natural-disaster home, and an emotionally unregulated and abusive (and absolutely undiagnosed/part of where I get the autism from, though it’s diagnosed on both sides) father, and I’ve been in a panic spiral ever since.

I’m terrified school will be too hard, and that I’ll never be able to find a job that I can stand doing that pays a livable wage. All I want is a solid 1bed1bath apartment to myself, but that is utterly unrealistic unless I can make $20-30/hr.

I’m so scared of continuing to stagnate and that I’ll never actually be happy.

Does anyone have and guidance on how to avoid freezing? It’d be so easy to just continue this way, I have a (very cluttered and barely livable) room for free, access to food, and I’m on their car insurance and family phone plan. My parents are going to be in their 70s this year, and are reasuring us “the house is payed off” but I cannot imagine being their or my disabled siblings caretakers, I will drown. I feel like I’ve been so sheltered and wasn’t taught how to grow and try to support myself.

TLDR; 31 year old audhd stagnant retail worker living at home. I’m terrified to continue coasting, but don’t know how to focus up successfully and go back to school or even how to start a career hunt. Amy tips of guidance on how to push yourself into progress/success would be unendingly helpful. I’m particularly worried about going back to school and finding the courage to leave this emotionally use-to-it job. I previously tested well, but never got good end of term grades, and it’s been 6 years since I attended.

I’m 31, in the south US, and completely burnt out at my $15/hr job. The cap is $18/hr, and raises only happen 50c at a time once a year, and I’ve been here 10 years at this point. I’m someone who will never have a dual income (not into dating/romantic partners) but I want to be able to afford a 1b1b apartment. The only reason I’m not going broke is because I live at home and have advanced tax credits for healthcare, otherwise I’d be paying $500+ a month for the healthcare alone, and even now I only have about $27k in my savings as a saftey cushion.

I was 25 when covid happened, I have multiple high risk family members, so I took the semester off, and missed the subsequent semester deadline. I fell through the cracks of reenrollment, and not having access to my school email, late diagnosed adhd, depression, bad anxiety, etc etc, completely made me lose any momentum I had. Im completely coasting existing, and now im 31 with no idea what to do with my life.

Nothing I’ve found recommended (dental hygienist, engineering, optical work) that has $30-ish /hr feels like something could focus on and do for the rest of my life, and I’m just drowning.

I have a tech school nearby, and I have no qualms going back for certifications, but GOD I’m scared I’ll be 40 before I can finally move out and live my life. I know time will pass anyway, I have NO IDEA where to start, and it’s all just very disheartening.

Edit: I should clarify because this ended up being an anxiety induced rant, TLDR; I am genuinely asking if anyone knows what steps to take in career exploration, and finding/deciding on a career path.