u/Bubbly-Policy-1384

Anyone else share the same M-haplogroup? Anything interesting about it?

I mean I get why they’re lumped together but at the same time I don’t and how that reads into my ancestry. I have 29% in this category with a country match to Ghana and the Brong Ahafo Region and distant connections to the Ashante and Fante Peoples. So can I draw the conclusion that majority of that percentage matches DNA from people in the country of Ghana or can it go either way?

Hi all, I am from South Carolina and went to my child support hearing on April 17th. I am the CP, NCP was ordered to make payments starting May 1st.

I’m unsure of when payments should start, as he is paying arrears and the first payment. His occupation is car salesman so I am not sure on how that may affect income withholding either.

When does income withholding take into effect?

Okay…I’m actually confused and conflicted. I don’t really know what to do in this situation.

Context: My mother and godfather dated when I was very young. I was like 5 or 6 when I met him. I lived with him for a time while they were momentarily on and off and even after they stopped dating.
I have no true idea of how the dynamics of their relationship were and personally I don’t feel it’s my business to know or be concerned. But, my mother struggles with mental illness and basically used him financially without truly investing any kind of true interest in their relationship.

The only reason he’s my godfather is because she was the one who set that in motion. He’s been referred to as my godfather since then.

There was a period of time in my life in which we didn’t speak but as recent as 2-3 years ago we’ve been maintaining contact again and catching up on lost time. I’ve spent a Christmas with his family (who see me as their “granddaughter” and “niece”, been around his sisters’ children and even attended one’s wedding with my youngest child. I call him sometimes just to talk, he’s come to visit me in my town just to catch up, grab food and spend time with me and my sons. Even though my mother wants nothing to do with him anymore and hasn’t for a long time he’s always considered her during the holidays and invited her as well as my siblings to join us. I stopped asking after one Christmas because she was preoccupied with her phone and arguing with her toxic ass boyfriend and father of her fifth child.

My godfather has always made it clear that he cares about me a lot, no lines have EVER been crossed (there’s a reason I’m saying this), and all he’s ever tried to do was be a father figure I’ve never had as I am the only child out of my siblings who doesn’t know their biological father because he had nothing to do with me and my mother alleges he was a pedophile. My godfather and I have a lot of deep conversations where he opens up about his own personal experiences in life with family, his mentality after being shot by an officer many moons ago or even just his mindset when it comes to family. We talk about music and politics, etc.

Anyways, back to the main problem at hand. My godfather is in a dry spell with his job and usually on Mothers Day he does something kind for his mom, sisters and since I had kids, me now. He mailed me a little paper flower bouquet this weekend and I thought it was sweet. It was simple and I get why he did that. I opened it last night because I didn’t know why I got a package. Didn’t think he’d mail me something.

My mother must’ve figured that was the limit for her as she decided to express her feelings to me. She expressed to me today in so many words that she finds it disturbing that someone she used to date is still in her daughter’s life and that I won’t understand until I have a daughter myself. Without saying it explicitly she is insinuating that my godfather is actively grooming me or is having a romantic relationship with me which is fucking disgusting to even assume as he has known me since I was a child and he’s given no clear indication of such. He’s always been my big homie and like the father I never had.
She says that I don’t respect her feelings enough and this is what got me hot because I’m ALWAYS telling my godfather to not make it obvious whenever he is in town, and I am ALWAYS trying to express to him how she feelings about everything, don’t invite her to every family outing. I feel I can respect her feelings and respect mine as well. I’m an adult. This man is my godfather, period. She thinks he has some angle or ulterior motive here, that he’s trying to torment her but…I promise nobody is even trying to do that.

My godfather has always told me that ever since they broke up my mother has just been pissed at the fact he’s been able to separate the relationship he had with my mother from the relationship he’s had with me. This is a man who said he always finishes what he starts and he applies this to his presence in my life as he just realized I was a kid who didn’t have a dog in the fucking fight with a mentally ill mother who has a history of lying, being unstable and making poor choices.

So…I don’t really know what to do. I’m very upset right now. I’m not sure why she is doing this to me but it’s okay for her current boyfriend who’s she’s dated before and known just as long as my godfather (who has a history of mutual abuse with her, has dumped her and my sisters’ shit out in the rain, cheating, even throwing shots at me when they had a really big argument), to call himself my stepfather when they’re not even married and they could “break up” for the millionth time in two years any day now?
My godfather actually cares about me and cares about my kids, sees them as his grandsons. His family is kind to me and sees me as family. I feel so happy around them. I get to see a normal, functioning family. I don’t have to deal with someone drinking themselves into a crash out or instability around them.
I just feel like my mother is making a big issue out of nothing.

I got a response like this to a comment I made on a post and just wonder why someone would think that?

MGM (Multigenerationally mixed) is not the same as mixed race and it isn’t the same as admixture.

You can be a Black American with distant admixture, let’s say from the 1800s from a handful of ancestors who might have been another race or mixed, but from then on the descendants were relatively monoracial or themselves had little to no admixture, at least the way I see it.

In my case I do not view myself as multigenerationally mixed but instead a Black American with distant admixture because I cannot trace a single white ancestor, they were scattered back in the mid 1800s and since that point on the ancestors I read census records for were listed as Negro/Colored/Black. If that makes sense.

Really all I’m saying is, I don’t think all Black Americans are multigenerationally mixed. Just from seeing so many results on here and other social media platforms.

Originally when I started my genealogy process it was to find my paternal family but I thought because I had very little information to go off of, it was best to just go on the maternal side to make progress.

After talking to my mom more I actually made a huge break in my paternal side search and successfully identified my paternal grandmother, paternal aunt and 1st cousin via father’s sister as well as my greats, 2nd greats and 3rd greats!

I had always known from my DNA matches on both 23andMe + Ancestry that I was going to have to look out for the surnames Barr, Flagler, Cooper. Turns out my paternal grandmother is a Wilson, and there are Witherspoons, Pressleys, Fulmores in the mix.

They seemed to have stayed in the Williamsburg area for a long time, which checks out since my mother was actually a foster child to my biological paternal grandmother. I know the story she told me and I know my paternal family doesn’t care for me nor really even know me but I took the big leap and messaged what is to be my biological father. I don’t expect an answer, seems like he’s not even active on his Facebook but that is TBD. I messaged his niece (his sisters daughter) a while ago and told her I discovered our connection, was real respectful about it. But, when I said that I was her uncle’s bio daughter the only response I got was “Oh”, so I don’t expect warmth or even an attempt at a relationship. That’s not even the main goal to be fair.

My mother said he had no intention to be in my life and clearly that was true. My mom was 14 when she met what would be her foster brother (my bio dad) and he was years older. He essentially groomed my mother and impregnated her at 18, thus where I came in at. According to her he gave her the ultimatum of either get rid of the baby and stay in Florence or keep the baby and he’d get her a ticket back to Charleston on a Greyhound, and I was born in Charleston lol. Dude had a whole girlfriend or fiancé the entire time my mom thought he was actually dating her. He had another daughter years later, so I have a biological younger half-sister through him.

I have yet to find my paternal grandfather but I wager he was a McFadden through his own father being that my biological dad and his sister both share that surname and usually children get their surname from their father.

Just a year ago I didn’t think I’d get anywhere and here I am, actively making breaks and compiling a whole family tree. So, progress has been made.

I’ve posted here before about some findings I made after ordering a copy of my maternal great-grandmother who was murdered in 1970. So my mother never even met her. My maternal grandmother was a kid when her mother passed.

Anywho, as I was building my family tree and looking at documents I noticed my family has deep roots in Charleston, specifically Hollywood/Meggett. Basically West Ashley. And I grew up in this area. Back then this area was referred to as St. Paul’s Parish. So far it looks like they have been there since the mid 1800s, so basically since a bit before or after Emancipation.

My great-grandfather had 18 children! That surprised me because I don’t know my maternal family very well but it makes sense as I have a lot of DNA matches/cousins on Ancestry. He had 18 kids between either 2 or 3 wives. My great-grandmother was his first wife I believe. So I have a lottttt of cousins removed. It’s a lot to take in.

I also got a picture of my great-great-grandmother from a cousin whose mother is my grandmother’s sister. My great-great-grandmother was called Mama Carrie by those who knew her. She was very loving, kind and a community woman. She was the woman who others could come to for anything. I wish I had the opportunity to meet her but she passed away months before I was born.

I am related to a lot of Porters, Browns, and have some Simmons and Jenkins in my family/family tree too.

Also learned my adoptive grandmother is my 1st cousin 3x removed. Still my Granny though haha.