u/Bubbly_West8481

I’m in my early thirties, working in B2B marketing, and I want to be a leader someday. Not for the title. Because I genuinely believe in building vision, inspiring people, and creating environments where teams actually want to show up.
My core values are collaboration, fairness, resilience, and inspirational leadership. I believe a leader’s job is to make ambiguity feel navigable — to absorb uncertainty at the top so their team doesn’t have to carry it.

The problem is I’ve spent the last two-plus years under leadership that does the opposite. No real vision. No motivation passed down. Just noise and survival mode — and somehow that becomes everyone’s problem, not just theirs.

I’ve been surviving it. But surviving isn’t thriving. And somewhere along the way a quiet question crept in: does the fact that this environment has worn me down mean I don’t have what it takes?
I don’t think that’s the right question. But I’m struggling to shake it.
So here’s what I actually want to ask people who’ve led, or who are on that path:

How do you protect your leadership identity when the culture above you is the opposite of what you believe in? And how do you know the difference between resilience — pushing through hard things because they’re worth it — and simply tolerating something that’s slowly eroding who you are?

Long post but need outside perspective.
I’ve been with my company for 2.5 years and have consistently received exceptional performance reviews. Despite this I haven’t been promoted.

About a few months ago I was moved into a lateral role I never asked for. Since then my role has been completely undefined for five months. No clear scope, no direction, no mentoring, no growth conversations. I’ve been figuring everything out myself while supporting other teams outside my remit.
My original manager was then moved due to a business need and I was absorbed under my previous manager who has no time to manage us, isn’t a subject matter expert and has shown no interest in developing the team.

During my last review which happened after the big change my manager literally said “it’s time to put you up for a promotion, you deserve it” — and then nothing happened. No follow up, no timeline, no circle back when I asked specific questions about the promotion cycle afterward. I was also unhappy about the measly raise I got after working so hard the whole year.

Here’s where it gets interesting.
A few weeks ago my skip reached out to me directly — bypassing my manager entirely — and offered me a huge retention bonus. He told me it wasn’t a broad department grant, it was specific to me, and asked me to keep it confidential. My manager doesn’t know about it.

I also was casually browsing the internal job board and found a role that really excited me.
When I raised the idea of an internal lateral move with my manager she was fine with it immediately. The second I said it was lateral and not a promotion she relaxed and said it would be good for me. She also said she didn’t want me going under my current band. She never once asked about my future on the team or offered a plan to retain me.

The lateral move would be to a team under a really strong leader who knows her stuff. It’s aligned to where I want my career to go. I also have an external second round interview happening Monday.
My gut is telling me:
• Even without a promotion I’d at least have a defined role
• I’d be working under someone who actually develops people
• I’d be growing skills in an area I’m genuinely interested in
• I’m using the company the same way they’re using me
But part of me wonders — am I leaving a promotion on the table? A senior leader clearly values me at a level my manager doesn’t. Should I try to leverage that somehow?
How would you interpret this situation? Do I pursue the lateral move, wait for the promotion, or use the external offer as leverage? What would you do in my position?

I’m 30 with around €95k in savings and €54k in my pension, and I’m seriously considering leaving my current high-paying job. The burnout has gotten to a point where it’s bleeding into every part of my life — I’m exhausted, frustrated, and haven’t had a real break since August 2021. I feel like I’m being treated as disposable rather than valued.

If I leave, I’m prepared to take a lower-paying or even minimum wage job just to cover my rent while I recover. The job market is tough right now, so I don’t know how long it’ll take to land something better. But the bigger issue is that I’ve lost confidence in myself, and I know I won’t get it back as long as I stay where I am. Recovering that confidence feels like the necessary first step before I can even think about my next career move.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Has anyone been in my shoes? Logically I’ll be fine if I’m unemployed even for a year as I’m prepared to dip into my savings but I don’t plan on not getting work.

I asked for a raise and since the cycle had already passed, I don’t think there was much they could do and so instead I received a PPU.

Is this useful? Has anyone been on the receiving end?

I’m an employee working at a PE backed firm who was recently nominated to receive 15000 units but haven’t officially received the official agreement with the details. What does this mean?

I'm an IC who got reorged into a brand new function I have zero experience in and no skills for. A manager was also reorged and became my new manager. I spent two months rebuilding that relationship from scratch, making peace with the change, and trying to figure out how to build this new function together.

Then leadership pulled the rug out — they offered my new manager their old role back (because the person who replaced them left the company), and just like that, I had no manager and no sponsor. They pushed me back under my old manager, who now has significantly more responsibility and honestly no bandwidth, context, or expertise to guide me in this new space.

Now I'm being pulled into half-baked initiatives I'm not confident will succeed, expected to develop skills I've never needed before, with no training, no mentorship, and no real structure. I feel like I'm being set up to fail.

I'm on the verge of quitting but have personal circumstances keeping me here for now. Has anyone navigated something like this? How do you build something from the ground up when leadership clearly hasn't thought through who owns it or how to support the person doing it?

I'm an IC who got reorged into a brand new function I have zero experience in and no skills for. A manager was also reorged and became my new manager. I spent two months rebuilding that relationship from scratch, making peace with the change, and trying to figure out how to build this new function together.

Then leadership pulled the rug out — they offered my new manager their old role back (because the person who replaced them left the company), and just like that, I had no manager and no sponsor. They pushed me back under my old manager, who now has significantly more responsibility and honestly no bandwidth, context, or expertise to guide me in this new space.

Now I'm being pulled into half-baked initiatives I'm not confident will succeed, expected to develop skills I've never needed before, with no training, no mentorship, and no real structure. I feel like I'm being set up to fail.

I'm on the verge of quitting but have personal circumstances keeping me here for now. Has anyone navigated something like this? How do you build something from the ground up when leadership clearly hasn't thought through who owns it or how to support the person doing it?

I've been at my company for a while now. I work hard, I've taken on way more than my role requires, I've been consistent. But I've never once asked about a promotion or made my ambitions clear.

I just assumed the work would speak for itself. It hasn't.

My manager is in a different location so visibility has always been an issue. I feel overlooked, my motivation has taken a real hit, and I've been sitting on this quiet resentment for longer than I'd like to admit.

I've finally decided to have the conversation — with my manager and potentially my skip level too. I want to ask directly: is there a growth path defined for me? What does promotion-ready look like here? Am I on track?

But here's the thing. I'm scared.

I'm scared my skip will just say no. That I'll hear "you're not ready" or "that's not on the cards right now" and I won't know what to do with that. The uncertainty feels safer than the rejection somehow.

I know that's not rational. I know staying quiet has already cost me. But fear doesn't really care about logic.

For those of you who've been in this position — how did you push through it? How do you walk into a conversation like this when you're terrified of the answer? And if you did get a "not yet" — how did you handle it and move forward?

I just need to hear that it's worth asking even if the answer isn't what I'm hoping for.

I've been at my company for a while now. I work hard, I've taken on way more than my role requires, I've been consistent. But I've never once asked about a promotion or made my ambitions clear.

I just assumed the work would speak for itself. It hasn't.

My manager is in a different location so visibility has always been an issue. I feel overlooked, my motivation has taken a real hit, and I've been sitting on this quiet resentment for longer than I'd like to admit.

I've finally decided to have the conversation — with my manager and potentially my skip level too. I want to ask directly: is there a growth path defined for me? What does promotion-ready look like here? Am I on track?

But here's the thing. I'm scared.

I'm scared my skip will just say no. That I'll hear "you're not ready" or "that's not on the cards right now" and I won't know what to do with that. The uncertainty feels safer than the rejection somehow.

I know that's not rational. I know staying quiet has already cost me. But fear doesn't really care about logic.

For those of you who've been in this position — how did you push through it? How do you walk into a conversation like this when you're terrified of the answer? And if you did get a "not yet" — how did you handle it and move forward?

I just need to hear that it's worth asking even if the answer isn't what I'm hoping for.

I've been at my company for a while now. I work hard, I've taken on way more than my role requires, I've been consistent. But I've never once asked about a promotion or made my ambitions clear.

I just assumed the work would speak for itself. It hasn't.

My manager is in a different location so visibility has always been an issue. I feel overlooked, my motivation has taken a real hit, and I've been sitting on this quiet resentment for longer than I'd like to admit.

I've finally decided to have the conversation — with my manager and potentially my skip level too. I want to ask directly: is there a growth path defined for me? What does promotion-ready look like here? Am I on track?

But here's the thing. I'm scared.

I'm scared my skip will just say no. That I'll hear "you're not ready" or "that's not on the cards right now" and I won't know what to do with that. The uncertainty feels safer than the rejection somehow.

I know that's not rational. I know staying quiet has already cost me. But fear doesn't really care about logic.

For those of you who've been in this position — how did you push through it? How do you walk into a conversation like this when you're terrified of the answer? And if you did get a "not yet" — how did you handle it and move forward?

I just need to hear that it's worth asking even if the answer isn't what I'm hoping for.

To be fair I haven’t advocated for myself or asked for a promotion, I’ve done the work, been consistent and now I feel invisible despite taking on so much. How do I get clarity on this from my manager and skip especially because I feel like me staying quiet has impacted my growth? Is there a way to recover ?

And what is the best way to handle this?

I’m doing some independent research and would like to understand the below:

I've been working in marketing here for a few years and the last 12 months have felt... strange.

On paper, there are jobs out there. In practice, roles are taking forever to fill, CVs are being scrutinised way more than before, and a lot of companies seem to be doing more with fewer people with AI quietly picking up the slack.

I still think there's a real future for marketers who adapt. But the entry-level pipeline feels like it's closing off, and mid-level roles are getting blurrier.

Are there others on this subreddit who work in marketing? What has your experience been? And what have you observed in your own company?

And

- Are you finding it harder to land roles, or has your experience been different?

- Has AI changed how your team operates day-to-day?

- Do you think Irish companies are ahead or behind the curve on this?

Would love to hear from both job seekers and people on the hiring side.

I need to vent but also genuinely want advice because I’m at my limit. I’m an IC who’s consistently high performing. Delivered results people at my company had never seen before. Won a company award. Led a major product launch in the middle of a full business unit reorg. By any measure, I’m doing the work. But here’s the reality: nearly everyone outside my team has been promoted. My manager simply doesn’t have the political clout or relationship with the VP that other managers do. Those managers advocate for their directs, get them promoted, repeat. My manager doesn’t do that — or can’t. The result? I’m watching people around me advance while I stay stuck, not because of my output, but because of who sits above me. Then things got messier. Got reassigned to a new manager and a new role. Two months later she goes back to her old role. Now I’m back with my original manager, handed a completely new area I have zero experience in, told to “figure it out.” No training, no clear success metrics, no support. I feel genuinely disrespected. I’ve been loyal, consistent, and high performing — and the return has been more work, more chaos, and no growth. To top it off: I feel like the only way to get promoted is to be chummy with a skip-level I don’t particularly like or respect. That’s not who I am. I can’t quit right now — no job lined up. But I’m so angry and done staying quiet. Has anyone been here? How did you handle it? Did you stay and fight, or leave?

I need to vent but also genuinely want advice because I’m at my limit.

I’m an IC who’s consistently high performing. Delivered results people at my company had never seen before. Won a company award. Led a major product launch in the middle of a full business unit reorg. By any measure, I’m doing the work.

But here’s the reality: nearly everyone outside my team has been promoted. My manager simply doesn’t have the political clout or relationship with the VP that other managers do. Those managers advocate for their directs, get them promoted, repeat. My manager doesn’t do that — or can’t. The result? I’m watching people around me advance while I stay stuck, not because of my output, but because of who sits above me.

Then things got messier. Got reassigned to a new manager and a new role. Two months later she goes back to her old role. Now I’m back with my original manager, handed a completely new area I have zero experience in, told to “figure it out.” No training, no clear success metrics, no support.

I feel genuinely disrespected. I’ve been loyal, consistent, and high performing — and the return has been more work, more chaos, and no growth.

To top it off: I feel like the only way to get promoted is to be chummy with a skip-level I don’t particularly like or respect. That’s not who I am.

I can’t quit right now — no job lined up. But I’m so angry and done staying quiet.

Has anyone been here? How did you handle it? Did you stay and fight, or leave?

I just applied for my stamp 4 but my workplace is extremely toxic and I’m completely burnt out. I have not received my stamp 4 permission yet but I really want to take a couple of weeks off to feel better as I’m genuinely exhausted. I also want to use that time to apply to jobs. Has anyone here done that? Would that be problematic?