r/Leadership

Based in London. I lead a team of 12 in a mid size marketing agency. Since we introduced AI tools for content and analytics, half my team is terrified they will be replaced. The other half is quietly updating their CVs. Productivity is down and morale is worse.

I have been reading about how to lead through technological disruption. There is a difference between managing change and actually helping people feel safe enough to adapt. I am trying to figure out how to address the fear without pretending AI is not coming for some tasks. Does anyone have a framework or a way to talk about this that does not sound like corporate nonsense.

Hi! A bit of the background: I've been in a Senior Manager role for a couple of years (managed 50+ org), my supervisor decided to put me on the road to the Director role (for a 150 + org). But at that time I decided I didn't want to pursue this role, I preferred something more hands-on, so I moved to another company. And now I'm going the same road again -- I'm on the prep for the Director role 😄But this time I decided "let's get it on" (I once learned the hard way one doesn't simply refuse the offers in corporate).

Problem is that I'm a simple man, I don't like politics, I can't read between the lines, I'm not good at playing games. I'm reliable, easy to work with, good at building relations, empathetic, communicative, etc., this is probably what builds trust in me and makes (most of) my supervisors bet on me.

So now I'm in a place where I need to better understand how to turn from operationally effective manager to somebody who belongs to other Directors, with all that "executive presence".

How did your midset change when you moved to Director role, what did you change deliberately and what changed by itself?

I work in a (seemingly) very neurotypical sector and company, and don't see neurodivergent folks in senior positions (as far as I know). I recently did a mat cover for a couple of months covering for my boss as her mat cover left early. The sheer amount of stuff to keep on top of was really challenging and readjusted my expectations about progressing to senior leadership level permanenty.

Would love to hear from anyone who can relate and has reached a senior position while managing ADHD.

I have posted before about my shitty job (it's shitty) but I need to stay for a few reasons.

(CONEXT: I am an executive personal assistant to a CEO)

Mostly, I am planning on leaving either way in January, so job hopping just does not make sense and I feel a responsibility to the team.

I work at a small fund, it has a very family office/startup vibe to it. All the names and some details are changed here for privacy. I have converted positions to terms that will be easily understood by this group.

Here is the team: Blake, Mark, Alex, Chloe, Susanne, Becca, Leah.

Blake == my boss

Mark == COO

Susanne == Head of People

Becca == VP

Cole == VP

Smith == Senior Manager

Claire == Senior Manager

Alex == Admin Assistant

When I am sitting with everyone but my boss, it is the dream team. Truly. I love everyone and have deep respect for them. There is not a person on my team I would not carry out of a burning building. My boss does not feel that way.

Example:

Today Cole needed 15 minutes to discuss a somewhat urgent topic that impacts the entire company (except for my boss). I came in at noon and told my boss "hey, Cole needs 15 with you. You have an hour. You okay if he comes in in 15?"

Boss says yes.

I walk Cole over. Boss is on a social call. I wave him down. He waves us away.

I sigh and reschedule to another time. Check with him. He says yes. Again, blows him off. Doesn't message either of us. Does not reschedule. Just blown off.

I finally get him in, but only at EOD and he has to stay late to talk to him.

Blake also regularly asks me to be at his house (normal for an EPA) around 7am and asks I do not leave until 7pm, tonight 8pm. I would be okay with this if there was work for me to do. There is often not. Not an issue, but my "call" time is actually 9am and sometimes I get these texts at 6:45 am (15 minutes before he wants me at his house -- I live about 10 minutes away).

My boss is also constantly emailing and texting in an obvious way when he is on team calls with us. He sometimes will pause for 2-3 MINUTES (yes, seriously) in the middle of him speaking to type a message or do something on his phone.

Our all hands for our company is TWO HOURS LONG. WE ARE 8 PEOPLE. WHAT. Because my boss takes so long to speak to us. As ------------ in ------ he ----- speaks --- like ----- this -----------.

My boss regularly refers to everyone who works for him as "idiots" -- he will say "have the idiots finished x?"

Everyone on the team knows this. And I sat down with Cole and asked if he had been apologized to. He sounded a bit dejected and said no. We talked it through. I repaired what I could, but I have a boss who is either completely socially unaware or cares and respects his employees time 0.

I will sometimes be in his office, working literally within inches of him (sometimes even behind him) and he will loudly pass gas and not even excuse himself. He also sometimes walks around the office without shoes.

Yes, I get that there is unlikely to be an easy fix for a lot of this. But there has to be some way for me to make my coworkers lives better. They should not have to live under leadership like this. I don't care if it makes my life worse if it makes theirs better.

Is there anything I can do here?

Should I just start standing up to him and telling him that he cannot treat folks like this?

I recently stepped into a supervisor position after two years at this company in a team lead role on the same team. Our team is one of five teams in a larger group that meets weekly for major progress updates (1 hr), I have 30-min 1:1s with all six of my directs either weekly or biweekly (at their preference), and we have a 15-minute individual team meeting with just the seven of us once a week. This is the meeting I am struggling with. I believe it was originally scheduled for an hour under the previous supervisor but since no one ever shared anything (them included), it's gradually gotten shorter and shorter. I WANT this team to feel like a team and improve these relationships but I don't know how.

Much of the work they do is repetitive, they all have assigned tasks to handle daily and these never change. There are some special projects throughout the year, but not many, and some recurring tasks that happen quarterly or annually that are discussed at the weekly meeting with the larger group, so mostly they are clocking in, completing their tasks, answering emails, and their work is done. Since the few special projects or recurring tasks are discussed in other spaces, when I bring them up in the smaller team meeting I basically get eye rolls. I still personally feel like it's valuable to recognize the work the team is doing, celebrate wins and progress, and keep others apprised of ongoing tasks.

1:1s were challenging in the beginning too. I've been successful in getting them to open up a bit more individually, but in the group it's like everyone is either too shy to brag about a success or ask for help from more than just myself, or simply think it's a waste of their time to mention anything. Some claim their workload is so heavy they don't have time for meetings, which I've assessed and believe this is instead an excuse. It's really been bothering me. Some suggestions I've read are things like icebreaker questions or calling on each individual person for a status update. I don't see either of these working well with this group. I like the idea of asking each person one thing they are most proud of and one thing they are most anxious about from the last week, which is another suggestion I received, but I think that's more suitable for a 1:1.

I am open to any and all suggestions for how to bring this team meeting back to life. On a team where there truly won't be many regular (weekly) updates on projects, what can we focus on as a team to build morale and trust and teamwork?

I was approached by my manager about my leadership potential and was asked if I would be interested in her role. I shared that I was and I received lot of encouragement, support, and momentum around my development.

I was asked to join a leadership development program so I did and completed the two month program. I gave a presentation and my manager was in full support throughout the program but since it ended things have gone quiet and there hasn’t been much follow-up.

I’m unsure whether I should approach my boss about continuing my leadership development or just wait and see if opportunities come back around. I do not want to come across as needy or cause my manager anymore stress since she is very busy.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, and how did you handle it?

I am aware that I am responsible for my own development but my development plan was created with my manager which included areas I need to learn and since the leadership program ended I haven’t heard anything about next steps.

Thanks

For context, i’m working with a bunch of teenagers for a project, and absolutely no one is listening. Whenever i tell them to get back on task i get brushed off and ignored. It’s only when i notify higher-ups they’ll listen, and even after they continue to ignore me. I’ve tried being strict, nothing. I’ve tried being nice, nothing. I’m seriously at a loss, this thing is due in about a month and we haven't a lick of progress.

I just got promoted from senior IC to team lead. I know the technical work better than anyone on my team. But I am struggling with basic stuff like running a one on one and giving constructive feedback without sounding angry.

I have been looking for resources that are not a 400 page book or an expensive offsite. Short practical things I can use immediately. The Lead Every Day podcast has a few episodes on feedback and building trust but I am not sure if that is enough. Has anyone found a structured program or workbook that works for new managers who learn by doing not reading? Thanks for any advices.

With every c-suite executive asking people to “use AI everyday” how has that affected your management style? Have you been actively incorporating AI into your daily routine? What has been working and what hasn’t?

I want to please my overlords but at the same time be pragmatic in my approach in using AI.

He’s new. I am new. I have a mandate to whip my very inexperienced team into shape. He is taking this opportunity to overstep and control direction.My take he is overzealous, looking to make a mark and wants to do it at my teams cost.

He liberally uses AI to generate crap policies that I have had to fix after he dumped it and moved over to anew idea.

I have tried cutting him out from most of teams work, but he still talks over me publicly in leadership meetings where i literally have to shut him down, politely of course.

Now he’s trying to drive the direction from behind the scenes and I just dont have the bandwidth to handle all of his “ideas”

How do I proceed?

Team Balance and Flexibility

• Unbalanced Teams: Teams missing one or more of these roles often struggle, leading to issues such as lack of direction, failure to complete tasks, incorrect execution, or a lack of big-picture perspective.
• Role Fluidity: These roles are not static. Individuals can and should play multiple roles, switch roles as needed, or fill gaps when a team is unbalanced.
• Providing Grace: The speaker notes that behaviors may be misinterpreted; for instance, a mover may seem "controlling" while merely attempting to provide "discipline," or an opposer may seem "negative" while actually trying to "protect" the team’s integrity. Understanding the positive intent behind these roles is crucial for team health.

Active Participation
The speaker emphasizes that every role in the model is active, not passive. To improve team performance in a remote setting, participants are encouraged to use specific verbal cues to step into or invite others into these roles:

• To be a Follower: "That's an awesome idea. What can I do to help?"
• To be a Mover: "Here's what I think we should do."
• To be an Opposer: "A different approach might be to..." or "Have we considered...?"
• To be an Observer: "I've noticed that we have discussed this for a while. Perhaps we want to consider..."

i am a new Director,.. senior leadership position. & just looking for others opinions or experience on how you've dealt with managers who give you constant pushback or question everything... & how did you navigate when this occurred? any & all feedback is appreciated.

One management cliché I increasingly disagree with is:

“Always take ownership of every decision.”

I agree the fastest way to lose trust as a manager is saying:

“Leadership made me do it.”

But the second fastest is pretending you had more authority than you actually did.

Employees usually know when a manager is overstating their influence. It feels performative in the same way “I’m just following orders” feels evasive.

The best managers I’ve worked with were honest about both:

• what they genuinely influenced
• what they were responsible for communicating

Not:

“I’m just the messenger.”

And not:

“I personally decided everything.”

Rather:

“Here’s the decision, here’s the context, and here’s what I actually own.”

That honesty builds more trust than performative ownership.

P.S. You work either less coz it is what the work demands or else you just push the work pressure down to the people below you?

Edit: Some of the comments from experienced managers make fair points, strong leadership absolutely adds value, and I’m not dismissing that.

My frustration is specifically toward ineffective managers who contribute little beyond oversight while still creating bottlenecks, unnecessary pressure, or inflated hierarchy. This was never meant as criticism of competent leaders who genuinely drive teams forward.

I finished my business degree back in 2008 with a head full of fancy frameworks about inspiration and visionary leadership. Then I actually got into the trenches. Over the last 18 years managing teams in different parts of the world, I realized almost all of that textbook stuff completely falls apart on a Monday morning.

When things are hitting the fan or a team is burning out, nobody wants an inspirational speech or a new corporate buzzword. They just want a manager who is consistent and reliable.

Honestly, I’ve stopped trying to act like a "boss" or some visionary hero. To me, real leadership is just building what I call relational infrastructure. It’s the unglamorous, boring work of setting up clear communication, removing roadblocks, and being the one steady foundation so your people can actually do their jobs without the daily drama. It’s a promise to show up for them every day, not a title.

I’m curious—what’s one piece of "traditional" leadership advice you were given that you immediately threw in the trash once you actually started managing real people on the office floor?

A few years ago, I was an Engineering Area Manager in an advanced technology group at a large manufacturing company. My team was responsible for building and testing specialized systems (electrical controls, etc.). One of my major assignments was to evaluate and improve our operating model.

After a deep analysis, I recommended outsourcing much of our work and ultimately disbanding the department. Over the course of about two years, I successfully executed that plan. This included transitioning work externally and relocating every member of my team into other roles within the company.

After that, my manager began discussing next steps for me. In some 1:1 conversations, he encouraged me to move into a Project Engineer role (which is considered a leadership-track position). However, in other conversations, he would suggest I should move into a Design Engineer role first.

This back-and-forth concerned me. It felt inconsistent, and at the time I interpreted it as either uncertainty or possibly prioritizing others for limited leadership slots.

Eventually, I chose to move into another group that offered a more direct and clearly defined path into a Project Engineer role, which I achieved.

Later, once I started participating in higher-level strategy and HR discussions, I realized something important: in this organization, advancing to Senior Project Engineer or Engineering Manager is significantly easier if you have Design Engineering experience. Without it, progression is still possible, but typically takes much longer (sometimes close to a decade in-role).

In hindsight, it seems like my previous manager may have been trying to guide me through the internal “rules of the game,” but I didn’t fully understand that at the time.

Now I’m in a new situation that feels somewhat similar.

I’m currently a Project Engineer, and I’ve been very intentional about asking my manager what I need to do to reach Senior Project Engineer. The feedback I get is generally vague:

“You’re not there yet” or “Focus on finishing Project A or B”

At the same time, He tells me that I’m overloaded and effectively operating at the level of an Engineering Manager based on my responsibilities and direct report load.

This disconnect is frustrating. On one hand, I’m being told I’m not ready. On the other, I’m being told I’m already carrying work at a higher level.

I want to keep progressing, but I’m starting to feel like I’m not getting the full picture again.

How do you differentiate between “developmental feedback” vs. organizational politics or constraints?

Not all managers are leaders! Even when they are “ in a position of leadership” it doesn’t mean they’re weird! What are the differences?

I've been thinking about why small businesses keep losing employees to big tech, and I think we're framing the competition wrong.

Yeah, you can't match the salary. You're not going to out-perk Google: free lunch, gym, RSUs, the whole thing. That battle is lost before it starts.

But there's something a company with 50,000 employees structurally cannot do: make someone feel actually seen.

When you're employee #4,847, your manager has 40 direct reports, and your name shows up on a workforce planning slide that's the experience. It's not anyone's fault. It's just physics at scale.

As a small business owner, you know your people's names. You know which project nearly broke them and how they got through it.

You can walk over and say "that mattered, and here's why" and they know you actually mean it.

I've noticed that people don't usually leave for the next salary bump. They leave because they stopped feeling like they mattered. And when someone genuinely feels that no bonus attached, no performance review pending, they bring everything they have.

Most owners I talk to don't use this deliberately. They're firefighting. But it costs nothing and no competitor can copy it.

Curious what others have seen: have you lost good people not because of money but because something else eroded? And on the flip side has something small ever made an employee go from checked out to fully bought in?

Have you noticed any particular leadership trait or quality which makes you feel good to work with that person ?

or If you are a leader, then what quality do you think has helped your team well ?

Things haven’t been going that great and are frustrating. Ie. constantly changing priorities based on their agenda, too much political emphasis guiding their direction, lack of respect for my leadership etc (still haven’t discussed this yet with them). But aside from this an opportunity to lead my own team and build an organization again has come up. I’ve applied. How would you approach the conversation. I am the succession plan. I’m rethinking what I really want as a leader and things will be like this for the next 5 years at least