u/BulkyOwl3005

Hi guys,

I know T gives hairloss, I know also that you could eventually use DHT or finasteride (and minoxidil).

I understand that if I don't want to loose all my hairs I have to now very quickly step to actions.

My issue is with my body recomp/muscle building. I struggle so much with my body dysphoria, I just start to notice a little recomp and this has been such a big issue, but if I would bald out I would look like a bald woman because of my head's shape.

What would be smarter to do? What can I do both on short and long term starting now?

Can I lower my T dose safely without loosing more hairs like this?

If I lower my T dose, I risk my body recomp not happening? (I have been 1 year on gel and it didn't do sh*t, I'm now a year and a half on injections doses below). I only started to see body recomp/significant masculinization from this last T change last month.

I urgently need to change this situation.

Since last month (I got changed from 0,3ml to 0,4ml weekly androtardyl) my hair thinned out and I lose incredibly much hair. I just noticed today out of nowhere I even have a hole, which heart broke me. I see myself every day on the mirror, I am pretty sure this huge hair loss happened within this recent time (headphones may have helped worsen it). My hair got quite thin and quite... different?

My hair is one of the nicest things I have of my body... and something that gave me euphoria.

I booked an appointment with my endo about this, earliest is end october.

I'm 2 years on T and my monthly visit stopped already about a year ago+. I just wonder if it is normal to feel like some days at the gym you are completely overperforming or performing well, and other days you can't go further than 4 exercises because of the tiredness?

I always do my T shots on saturday, and I go Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays to the gym. On an average, I have been consistenly skipping 1 session a week... so realistically only going Tuesdays and Saturdays. It is a bad habit I want to break, but haven't managed yet. The tiredness is one of the issue why...

I have had a recent blood test done and everything was normal. I have also passed my yearly medical test for my job and the blood/urine was also fine.

I sleep well, but I am concerned about a few things of my health. I wonder if it has anything to do with being ftm (hormones, or what not).

I recently started to pick up swimming more seriously, with the idea to compete as a hobby. So I signed up to the only club in my city. The staff is kind.. but that's about it.

We get no feedback, ever. I feel like I am left with more questions than progress and feel I'm stagnating on everything I could get better at.

People seem to be very social between each other, but while I am not someone social myself, if you say hi people don't even answer or say anything even if you are in front of them. It feels off af?

I don't want to make it sound that they are terrible, but it left me wondering quite a lot of things. I saw a different group train the other day and their coach was all the time with them giving feedback and so on... while we are left alone.

The staff is very kind, but I wish we had actual coaching even if we already know how to swim.

After two months there, I'm thinking to leave. Or is this normal and nothing else than my expectation that is off?

I hope to not come across like the overambitious post with no realistic future chance, lol. I have recently joined a club (the only one in my small city in a small country in Europe) and unfortunately, while they send some people to the nationals like probably every amateur club here, the club lacks serious abilities to get better training/results and train seriously, most people just go for fun and don't really have any specific competition goal.

I know that if I would really focus, I could get far. I have already a good track record in a different sport with two provincial titles, but to achieve that it requires the right coaching and the right people that know how to get there.

I have switched from said sport to triathlon. Therefore have a lot of questions that so far my club was unable to clearly help me out:

As a difference from my previous sport, triathlon can also be accessible to more individualistic competitors. This is new for me, and I am highly interested how far you could get if you would have the proper coach.

My first goal is to get a good result out of the national championship. Where I live anyone can sign up for the national championship. At some point I will have to find a better club or coach to achieve this. I don't believe that you can easily get a good result if you lack the right coaching.

I am aware that you can sign up to the IronMan or T100 and if you qualify, do their world champs. But I wonder what else is out there outside of hobby/amateur level?

But after that, what am I supposed to do/go: Is indeed a personal coach enough or you have to be bound to a club?

Then the country issue: I have two nationalities, which are NOT the nationality of the country I live in. In the sport I used to do before, this was a serious game stopper because it required to be signed up in other clubs in the countries I am from, cannot get the local national championship result to qualify there, etc. And then the federations wouldn't even help you out to figure it out. And the irony is that there are athletes training everywhere, yet somehow I wasn't able to get to the right path. We had ranking opens and qualifying events, but I was unable to go without (either of my nationality's) club's representing me. So I assume that Triathlon has the same. In that sport used to be that if you had good results, eventually you could "bid" a place and make the qualifying championship to get in.

But it's been long time since, I have no idea if this works the same still and if Triathlon also works like this: Could anyone please explain how it works with Triathlon in Europe?

Please understand that I am not saying I will win everything, I am just trying to understand what steps should I take and if it works out in results, what can be next. There is only one guarantee: train hard and do your best.

Hi everyone, I have been swimming since I remember (because of family being olympians) but picked it up seriously about 3 months ago, 2-3 times a week. This is my second attempt to pick it up seriously.

I do feel and notice progress in the way I swim, but I still don't see significant progress with building distance.

I started going to a swimming club where they give us a workout for the day and most of the times struggle going through it. I first got put into a masters group, but while the form was fine I could not keep up with their workouts, so I got put with a different more chill group. And still, I think depending on the day I can finish about 50% of the workout and most of the time cannot finish the set as written (have to take more rest).

My family members who taught me to swim say it will come with time, but retired now and don't seem to want to give much advice. The coaches say that it will build up alone, but I somewhat feel pressure to perform from them and my peers.

I still cannot do 200m non stop. I can do 100m just fresh, and then start slacking towards my next 100m, and the rest goes worse and worse, have to take stops every 50m and technique starts to degrade, then start being unable to finish the 50m. Then start struggling with breathing as I get out of sync and get too tired.

I feel like I am the only one struggling at my club, and everyone else can follow the program just fine.

Before you downvote on this question, I want to just make clear I am asking for your perspective because I just don't have anyone to compare on my level to understand what is going on with myself. Everyone in my circle is just either retired pro or serious amateurs, or retired serious amateurs and are not giving any extra information or advice or explanation. This is really confusing and it makes me feel my body is just not made for this.

I had signed up for a sprint triathlon months ago, thinking I could build up the distance with a proper workout, but so far I wasn't really been able to break through it.

How long did it take you before you could do 500m non stop? Can you please share your beginner experience and how you built it up, what you struggled with with distance, etc?

It would add so much more value and perspective! And probably also be useful to more people.

Since this morning out of nowhere I have pain like if I would get the bleeding but nothing is happening.

Is this the famous atrophy pain? Does this pain go away or should I be worried? Do I have to do anything? Is this concerning?

I’m two years on T, my period stopped end last year if I remember correctly

I have only read about atrophy on this forum, I know nothing of it more precise

A few months ago I was cleaning out of anger from a discussion with my uncle and by accident I broke a bottle which was my safe object. This was given to me by someone I love but currently don’t speak to. It used to help me calm down from PTSD attacks, feel safe and somehow feel connected to this person. I haven’t felt safe at night and sleep really bad since it broke, and somehow feel odd and like something is missing and especially struggle to feel her presence so much it feels “over”.

By recommendation in this Reddit I bought a new bottle and put a little loving message about and that I give love when I hold it. But it isn’t the same. I haven’t managed to build a connection with it although at night I hold it like I used to with the original bottle. I just can’t feel connected to this replacement object. It freaks me out and I can’t seem to ground myself as good.

I try not to be superstitious. But I can’t help it. It’s mostly out of fear…
I’m afraid that having broken my original bottle by accident broke that connection between both. To the other side I would find it bs that a bottle would break a relationship ofc.
Sometimes I feel like the original bottle broke because that person would ever take that place in real (in a normal way). Sometimes I feel hopeless.

Could someone please clarify how the connection wouldn’t be broken despite I feel this way?
How do I regain this connection feeling?

I started MMA just this month. My background is in taekwondo (old style) and kickboxing. I realy like MMA but my biggest issue is that I have 0 idea what to do with the grappling part. My gym has both BJJ
(gi), wresling and grappling, and I am considering joining one of their beginner classes.

My grappling is currently an improvised survival strategy based on the very few hapkido cross-training we had in taekwondo, which is not that useful at all (because I just know too few of it) and is not really grappling other than a few locks I remember.

My peers have significantly more experience with grappling, and they basically fold me in an origami in 2 seconds. One of them recommended me to join the grappling course, which led me to this post.

My gym gives MMA specific classes (x3 a week) including all 3 disciplines of defense, striking and grappling. So far I have been attending these classes from time to time, next to kickboxing. I have by now watched a lot of youtube videos on bjj and mma, and tbh instead of getting more sense of it I am getting more confused.

I also hate skin-to skin- contact due to past severe abuse, which is making MMA somewhat a challenge on itself to get used to it. I don't particularly like bjj or wresling, grappling, etc. other than just get good at MMA. I find it quite uncomfortable and often limits me from going to MMA class. This would have probably been wildly different had I not been abused. My mental is to get through it at some point with positive exposure.

So here are the questions:

How should I structure learning grappling?

Should I start BJJ or grappling, both, or should I just keep only the MMA classes?

What should I focus on, must know for MMA?

Since I already train 3 times a week kickboxing, and other sports+gym, isn't adding BJJ too much to the entire equation?

I just want to do a few smokers in the future, and compete more seriously in kickboxing for now. Martial arts is keeping me sane and is an addictive passion I can't live without.

TW: dysphoria talk both the good and the ugly

I will write something a bit long to read, if you like reading. With the purpose of connecting and motivating you with sports. I feel like we often get intimidated to pursue sports seriously... so here is a story to share.

I (29) complain a lot that I feel I don't pass. My body shape and my profile especially... and my lack of muscles. I take my shirt off and there is 0 visible muscle, just a tiiiiiiny bit on my arms, I look like a peer and without a shirt. I'm two years on T and struggling a lot to gain any muscle visible, I'm quite tall and that does not help.

I have always done sports especially Taekwondo (old style, for those who know). After transitioning I joined a new club and started clean.. this was just two years ago. I never came out there, but starting to spar with cis men intimidated me a lot out of nowhere. I went from "the strong woman that can spar men also in competition" to "my body isn't like theirs so I'm going to get beaten up". I had the idea that people kind of knew, but kind of didn't, sort of that ambiguous time where you pass most of the time but people figure it out easy enough. Being the thin tooth stick I am, now sparring with men (did all my life as a woman) somehow felt different: I did lack the strenght, but it was also very much mental.

I did spar men all my life during training... I just felt so intimidated. Men are stronger, I am smaller, my bones are smaller, bla bla bla. Sure, true... but give it time... and I repeat this while being dysphoric af now.

Looking back two years ago, I do see the small beginning of the changes I wanted (even if I am not done):

I gained 10kg, this helped soooo much. I changed my diet, and I finally fixed my lack of endurance. I did gain strenght (not muscle..), which also helps. I do look somewhat more masculine somehow, but I still feel not enough.

As Taekwondo changed rules over the last 20 years, competing became really boring to me and lost the spark for something new after so many years of "the same" and "yet another shitty bullshit rule" and "sparring isn't what it used to be". So about 3-4 weeks ago I had enough and finally switched about 95% to kickboxing and MMA, and still do taekwondo once a month just for the forms and black belt dan progression.

Starting at the kickboxing/MMA club was like restarting this phase of insecurity and dysphoria again, but a tiny step better. However now, these guys (especially the MMA guys) are all jacked up, short hair with cauliflower ears, beards and look intimidating af. These guys are not afraid to knock you out if they are allowed. I said to myself "damn.... goals. Shit". I do admit I still feel dysphoric.

Comparing myself to a guy who was funnily enough born the same day, same year as me but cis, same weight (!) and same height (!!) (Crazy). Our bodies are significantly different and envy it so much. Of course, he is a pro, he lives out of this. But I can't help but think "I want that too". And then often get stuck into the dysphoria loop.

But something did change:

Twice got kicked in the "groin" recently, and my sparring partner were worried and started faking it. The first time was at Taekwondo, we were practicing a combination and he hit me in my groin and my leg, which my shin did hurt quite a lot (for weeks). He thought my pain reaction was from my groin, so I took the opportunity to say yes while in reality my shin was hurting like hell.

The second time, today, in kickboxing sparring day instead. We spar with everyone, greatly enjoy. We did sparring rounds every 2 minutes changing partner rounds. I got to spar with a woman probably around my age who is much much better than me. And by accident, she hits my "groin". I feel nothing of course, but have to fake it... she felt sorry, and we entered a loop of "Im really sorry" "oh dont worry about it its really okay" lmao. Because what else am I supposed to do...? lol.

Starting to see a small light

The dynamics greatly shifted by the changes that T brought. As I see these "micro" changes, my confidence and self esteem went up a lot. My strenght also improved, even if I am still under the "beginner male lift weights category" despite years at the gym and have 0 visible muscles, I do feel so much more confident to spar with cis men. And with MMA and kickboxing, it is full contact without head or hogu, therefore getting hit in the face and in your body a tiny bit too hard by accident isn't unusual. But somehow now, I can handle it. I do recognize my limitations to work on with my body, but I feel I can do it. I see I can do it. I am most of the time not afraid anymore but feel one of them. (Taking in mind dysphoria moments)

None of the trainers know I am trans. None of the gym knows either. Yet today, after this second groin incident and the class was over, my trainer came and congratulated me for my technique and that I was doing very good. That if I would continue like this in few months I would see progress very fast. And that really felt huge, considering all this effort to pass and stand a jacked up cis guy in the cage.

Something definitively is changing... nobody is suspicious anymore, and even if I lack visible muscles like my parring partners, they don't doubt I am a man too. I don't need to be suspicious anymore, I don't need to out myself anymore.

These small changes, maybe they are more visible to someone who doesn't know me or see me often than myself looking every single day if there is anything new. My shoulder's shape changed, my face masculinized somewhat.. even if I can't grow much beard at all. The haircut helps a lot, and overall gaining those 10kg did help to look more masculine as T does its job.

I swim too. I don't pack, which is a dilemma I have not been able to solve yet... (advice welcome) I am insecure af if someone ever looks and there is nothing.. so I tend to cover myself, which makes me more embarassed. The packing also is dysphoria inducing to me and so uncomfortable. But yet again, fortunately, nobody is suspecting it. Nobody is looking weird, and I am treated as another buddy.

While just last week I was doing a post about my T results not being there after two years, I definitively do admit to realize these changes exist, and they have really made my quality of life so much better. Even if I could write a full list of things that are not as I want them to be.

I guess yall are right, give T its time... but dang, it's so difficult to get results.

Anyways, I'm off to buy a groin protector now.... just in case. Seriously. lol.

My first sprint triathlon is end september and I am starting to panic about my results because the triathlon I am doing the last person who finished last year they finished with a 1h 45min result.

so far my end results:

00:31 min 5k

00:55 min 20km bike

swimming: work in progress, can't do 400m non stop yet but training with a swimming team so coach is coaching here.

I would like to ask the community for advice on what I could do to cut down time for the bike and running?

Also very important: I have a study (full time) and work, I train 6 days a week and sometimes double training but I have to admit it is very hard. I feel overworked mentally to do the intensity that most people do here, it leaves me no mental space.

I swim since I can remember but I always find myself rushing, even if I start slow. This is usually something that you “unlearn” naturally when you begin, but for some reason it stayed too long for me. Maybe because I never picked up swimming seriously until now.

I picked up swimming seriously with a group two years ago now, it's kinda time... right?

In any case, time to fix this. I want to swim relaxed and without burning myself out…

I’m NOT talking about how to swim (which is a big part), I’m talking about forcing yourself to slow down your stroke, go more relaxed with the water. Purely mental.

How to achieve this?

I (29M) have done 20 years TKD and now switched just 2 weeks ago to kickboxing. I noticed that in both struggle with combinations... which wasn't like this before.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or because KB is still fresh or what, but when I had started 20 years ago I always seemed ahead with understanding things very fast, but now find myself struggling with doing it right.

I stopped a few times in between with taekwondo, life... but overall it has been a part of my life. I stopped competing almost 15 years ago, and had good results competing both poomsae and sparring.

For example,

A very simple combination: jab (left), right, low kick (right), I for some reason end up screwing up the order or especially switch the left/right or screw up my guard stance direction. It takes me a lot of active mental load, and find myself always being the weak one of the group needing attention. I feel like I annoy my team mates because they have to constantly correct me or re-explain.

In taekwondo also ended up having the same issue since I restarted it this year. At this point I start to think I am stupid and not talented anymore.

I train minimum twice a week kickboxing. I do taekwondo only occasionally nowadays, but it's very cross compatible with KB.

Is there anything I can do to improve this and get rid of this issue?

Im studying at the moment, doing a career switch.. my budget is basically close to none and cannot afford triathlon gear.
I wanted to buy a trisuit, possibly a helm as well and small accessories like that and was wondering if anyone had recommendations?
I know decathlon has a lot of stuff but at this moment even that is too expensive. So I wonder if there are equally good alternatives or will have to save up..

Im currently doing a transition career switch study and my budget is close to none.
Unfortunately need some gear, I understand that quality gloves and shins are fundamental, but I’m talking about clothes such as shorts & shirts, or accessories. Spending 30€ is at this moment very difficult for me.

I thought, for the same price instead of buying a regular sport shirt & short at the primark, may as well buy some dedicated gear directly. Ideally not fake brands.

Who knows here some reputable aliexpress sellers to share?

EDIT: NOT sparring gear

Im a triathlete and kick-boxer ftm on T for 2 years, train almost every day and really struggle to masculinise my body.
I have a huge ass… yesterday they made pictures of me running a marathon and I couldn’t be more embarrassed.

Because triathlon is very demanding, I have a strenght session twice a week followed by a coach. I’m stealth and I don’t want to come out…
I’m 86kg 188cm, I have 18% body fat which I hope it will start to decrease soon but want to bulk so it’s a difficult trade.
I have a huge pelvic tilt… a huge ass.
Any idea?