u/BurntMrshmall0w

I bought my friend StrayKids photocards for their birthday. I’ve never been into k-pop. Nothing against the genre I’ve just never personally gotten into it. She started showing me the members on different photo cards and I genuinely couldn’t tell the difference between any of them.

I told her and at first she didn’t believe me but then she realized I actually couldn’t tell. She first told me who was who and then started picking out randoms and told me to assort them to the corresponding packs (for each member). I quite literally couldn’t tell anyone apart.

I actually started to think she was lying and trolling me when she showed me 4 photo cards and I learned they weren’t all the same person? We spent almost 2 hours going through all the photo cards and watching music videos and by the end I couldn’t barely see differences.

I quite literally memorized the photos themselves rather than actual members. I paid attention after that. I started noticing that I can’t tell Southeast Asians apart either. A lot of Indonesians go to my school and I just realized I can’t really tell them apart either. I only have one Indonesian friend and I can tell her apart just fine but the others look pretty similar to me other than very slight differences.

I actually feel like I’m being gaslit 24/7 because I was literally scrolling on TikTok and I came across multiple south asian men with the same skin color and similar hair cuts. I sat there and started scrolling only to realize they’re different people with different user names.

I felt so bad after, I didn’t tell them anything or comment anything because why would I do that but I feel bad for misidentifying them. I don’t do this with any other race well at least as much as I do with Asians. How do I stop being racist?

Edit: I’m 14F

Edit 2: I feel I must emphasize. I’m not from the west, I’ve never been near the west. I’m probably very influenced by western media. However I am black and I live in the Middle East and my school is small but probably 35% Asians (majority Indonesians). I have multiple Indonesian acquaintances (mot friends like the one friend) and I can only tell them apart by usual dressing habits but otherwise they’re mostly covered by abayas+hijabs. This is not a safe space for k-pop hate this is me trying to find out if I hate the k in k-pop

I feel like I understand them at their core but typing myself is difficult. I personally believe ima 1w9. I tend to have very high expectations for myself and kinda want myself to be this perfect no-flaws person at some point. Like I’ll eventually stop making mistakes or big mistakes and I hold myself to a very high standard. I see mistakes in others, I try not to be quick to label even though I am. I really do try to be open minded but when threatened I close up and I stick firmly to my believes (I’ll revisit/doubt them though and get it right eventually). Quite frankly, I don’t expect people around me to be overly good or perfect. My standards are high but it’s just that I’ve kinda accepted the fact that no one will ever meet them and that’s okay bc no one is perfect. Other than me, I gotta be mature and flawless and articulate and open-minded and handle everything perfect. But then again.. I’m very bad at articulating myself in real time, in person. So I tend to freeze in arguments or just not do them at all. I’ll even agree with people that I don’t want to agree with if it makes me have to talk/argue less. Plus, I don’t like my words being manipulated or misunderstood when I can barely voice them properly despite it being clear in my head. I am also neither close-minded nor open minded. I think I’m kinda stuck in this bubble. I can see outside the bubble but it’s still a bubble. This all sounds like a typical 1w9. And yet, when I search up 1w9 the people typed like that seem like… well I see no way we could possibly be similar, but they’re also all so similar with each other. Am I missing something? Am I untyped?

I feel like I understand them at their core but typing myself is difficult. I personally believe ima 1w9. I tend to have very high expectations for myself and kinda want myself to be this perfect no-flaws person at some point. Like I'II eventually stop making mistakes or big mistakes and I hold myself to a very high standard. I see mistakes in others, I try not to be quick to label even though I am. I really do try to be open minded but when threatened I close up and I stick firmly to my believes (I'll revisit/doubt them though and get it right eventually). Quite frankly, I don't expect people around me to be overly good or perfect. My standards are high but it's just that I've kinda accepted the fact that no one will ever meet them and that's okay be no one is perfect. Other than me, I gotta be mature and flawless and articulate and open-minded and handle everything perfect. But then again.. I'm very bad at articulating myself in real time, in person. So I tend to freeze in arguments or just not do them at all. I'll even agree with people that I don't want to agree with if it makes me have to talk/argue less. Plus, I don't like my words being manipulated or misunderstood when I can barely voice them properly despite it being clear in my head. I am also neither close-minded nor open minded. I think I'm kinda stuck in this bubble. I can see outside the bubble but it's still a bubble. This all sounds like a typical 1w9. And yet, when I search up 1w9 the people typed like that seem like... well I see no way we could possibly be similar, but they're also all so similar with each other. Am I missing something? Am I untyped?

For anyone curious. I think that I’m tritype: 1-6-4 sp/so1-so6-??4 and 1w9

I understand that communication is extremely important. That is something I struggle with, and I’m trying to get better (kinda hard when I’m not very social). Maybe it’s because of that and the fact I’m still learning how to set boundaries without giving in. But I see friends say, “I like confrontational friends!” And I just don’t get why?? Like, I’m talking big confrontations. Why do you want to talk to someone instead of cutting them off? It gets to a certain point where you shouldn’t want to continue any kind of relationship with that person anymore, so what are you repairing? Just tell them to back off and move on? Distance? Boundaries? I tried to find subreddits where people talked about how they became confrontational people, and it kinda just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it’s because of the actual subreddit’s genre or not enough reddits to make a proper assumption, but it genuinely just sounded like people trying to control other people. Is it just a dignity thing? Or maybe a self-respect thing? It just doesn’t seem worth the effort in my eyes. Sometimes I’d like to be heard, I’d like to feel seen and understood. My mood will be ruined for weeks because I feel like some people just refuse to see when they’re wrong with you. But confrontation never seems to make it better. That’s their journey to understand, and it feels like a lost cause when I know I can’t give clarity to someone. It’s a headache to me. So why is it so valued?

I understand that communication is extremely important. That is something I struggle with, and I’m trying to get better (kinda hard when I’m not very social). Maybe it’s because of that and the fact I’m still learning how to set boundaries without giving in. But I see friends say, “I like confrontational friends!” And I just don’t get why?? Like, I’m talking big confrontations. Why do you want to talk to someone instead of cutting them off? It gets to a certain point where you shouldn’t want to continue any kind of relationship with that person anymore, so what are you repairing? Just tell them to back off and move on? Distance? Boundaries? I tried to find subreddits where people talked about how they became confrontational people, and it kinda just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it’s because of the actual subreddit’s genre or not enough reddits to make a proper assumption, but it genuinely just sounded like people trying to control other people. Is it just a dignity thing? Or maybe a self-respect thing? It just doesn’t seem worth the effort in my eyes. Sometimes I’d like to be heard, I’d like to feel seen and understood. My mood will be ruined for weeks because I feel like some people just refuse to see when they’re wrong with you. But confrontation never seems to make it better. That’s their journey to understand, and it feels like a lost cause when I know I can’t give clarity to someone. It’s a headache to me. So why is it so valued?

I’ve been trying to get into BL recently, and it was recommended to me. I’m only on the first episode and the pacing really put me off. It feels like 3 episodes of an arc crammed into one. As I’m watching, I really would appreciated seeing more depth into each scene. Are most Isekai’s like this? I’ve found that a lot of them are 12 episodes and I find it hard to handle how things are moving. Does the show get better at pacing, considering that I’m only at the introduction I’d imagine it gets better, or is it not worth it at all?

Side note: I’ve been watching the dub, what are some opinions on the voice acting?