u/ByzantineBasileus

Further down the Bogenhafen road the pair found the Standing Stones Inn. The windows were shuttered and no lights showed. They could hear a neighing from the stables but when they checked there was no coach, black or otherwise, only some skittish ponies and a peddler’s cart.

“We’ve lost the coach. Might as well get a bed for the night,” Felix suggested. He looked warily at the smaller moon, Morrslieb. The sickly green glow was stronger. “I do not like being abroad under this evil light.”

“You are feeble, manling. Cowardly too.”

“They’ll have ale.”

“On the other hand, some of your suggestions are not without merit. Watery though human beer is, of course.”

“Of course,” Felix said. Gotrek failed to spot the note of irony in his voice.

The inn was not fortified but the walls were thick, and when they tried the door they found it was barred. Gotrek began to bang it with the butt of his axe-shaft. There was no response.

“I can smell humans within,” Gotrek said. Felix wondered how he could smell anything over his own stench. Gotrek never washed and his hair was matted with animal fat to keep his red-dyed crest in place.

“They’ll have locked themselves in. Nobody goes abroad on Geheimnisnacht. Unless they’re witches or daemon-lovers.”

“The black coach was abroad,” Gotrek said.

“Its occupants were up to no good. The windows were curtained and the coach bore no crest of arms.”

“My throat is too dry to discuss such details. Come on, open up in there or I’ll take my axe to the door!”

Felix thought he heard movement within. He pressed an ear to the door. He could make out the mutter of voices and what sounded like weeping.

“Unless you want me to chop through your head, manling, I suggest you stand aside,” Gotrek said to Felix.

“Just a moment. I say: you inside! Open up! My friend has a very large axe and a very short temper. I suggest you do as he says or lose your door.”

“What was that about ‘short’?” Gotrek said touchily.

And I don’t mean one of the worst Warhammer Fantasy series, I mean book series in general.

First of all, there are narrative paths that go nowhere. Characters are introduced, we get to know then, and the die half way or two thirds the way through without an impact on the plot. It feels like all the time I invested in reading was a waste.

Next there is the blatant plot armour vampires have, no matter how much it contradicts the lore. They can apparently will themselves not to be affected by sunlight (Which is not how curses fricking work) they can freely enter holy places, and holy water does not affect them (because the person throwing had ‘no faith’, which is implausible because the nature of the individual throwing it does not make it holy, but that it was blessed by an actual priest).

Finally, there is Manless Von Cuckstain. He was apparently behind Vlad loosing his ring and Konrad becoming overly paranoid (thereby robbing Humanity of any credit in those victories), and always talks about how wise and insightful he is. The guy is unsufferable.