u/CanadianBallMapper

This sub doesn't allow images anymore for whatever reason but I just completed day 900! I never thought I'd get this far tbh

Disclaimer: this post is sarcasm, the proper way to quit porn is to do the exact opposite of what this post says, hence the title.

Quitting porn is hard. So let's talk about some prime ways to fail at this because... Well, why not?

1. Peeking

Peeking is the most efficient way to fail at quitting. You can totally watch it without getting aroused. After all, it's just a test, right? It doesn't count as a relapse. Your intention isn't to relapse, so it can't count as one, ​right? Of course.

2. Edging

Edging is also a reliable way to fail at quitting, often combined with peeking. ​Don't worry, it doesn't count because you didn't finish. Saw porn? Eh. Touched yourself? Fine. None of it counts, you're totally ​still clean. Again, just a test of strength, see if you can start without finishing, test your ability to stop. When combined with peeking, these two are the ultimate recipe for successful failure.

3. Opposing urges

Urge? No!! Urges are BAD. Instead of ignoring it or overcoming it, you need to try to fight against the urge in order to destroy it. The best way to accomplish this is to focus extremely on the action you're trying to avoid. Allow it to take up your entire mind space and control every decision from this point. Getting in closer contact with triggers is fine. Obviously, because you have promised yourself that you won't relapse, so it doesn't matter anyway.

4. Making Excuses

Taking accountability for a relapse? Pfft. Hilarious. Instead, convince yourself that it doesn't even count. It was a test. It was a one off. It won't happen again. It wasn't your fault. It was the algorithm. Finding something to blame for your relapse is absolutely the best way to approach relapse. You made a mistake? No, of course not. It was that rotten Instagram algorithm feeding you pictures of bikini models and it triggered you! How awful of them.

5. Do nothing to change your habits

If you are trying to fail at quitting, a very good thing you can do to achieve this is to avoid changing anything about your life. Do not adopt good habits, this will not help you fail. Instead, you should couch rot all day, not go outside, doomscroll, peek and edge all day. None of it counts. Avoid things like walks, meditation, and especially exercise. Exercising releases dopamine, and you don't want to use up your dopamine on anything other than your 3-hour edging session (that doesn't count.)

6. Count days religiously

Build your entire life on how many days you've gone since you last relapsed. Who cares if counting days is bad? It's great for failing. Focus entirely on beating a record of days or reaching a day count. Who cares about proper reasoning? Just try to reach 100 days. Then you will fail much more often, achieving your goal.

Again, this post is sarcastic and you should not actually take any of this "advice" to heart. This post mainly serves as a what-not-to-do, not actual instructions on how to quit.​ The things I said "don't count" actually do to most people. It depends on your values and what you think, but what I would say is you should largely avoid all of these 6 things. Thanks for reading, this post is a product of my boredom.

The onslaught on the United States carried out by their government has abruptly ended after all officials suffered fatalities due to improperly aimed missile strikes. This happened after the chief military officer contracted rabies by trying to play with a raccoon. He, along with all of the other remaining military personnel and government officials were struck by a ballistic missile that they fired in order to remove the disease from their military. Rabies spoke on the issue in a press conference post-war, stating that it is utterly hurt by the 'erratic' actions of the former United States government. The emus running the country behind the scenes had to come out and get the country into order themselves, as the people were acting recklessly and continuing to bite each other. The emus, collectively called the Emu Presidency Collective (EPC) have shared their plans with the public for world domination.

Humanity has a problem- about 175,000 people who use oxygen die every single day. Scientists at ​Harvard University have been investigating the drastic number of deaths from oxygen for as many years as we can remember, and they have found that oxygen, especially when used excessively, corrodes the brain and other organs like the lungs and heart. Oxygen has caused over 109 billion deaths in total and the number is growing at an unnerving rate. "Stop ingesting oxygen NOW," ​published the scientists in their latest study, Oxygen Kills- How The Gas We Thought Gives Us Life is Actually ​Taking It​.

Addressing the Problem

In light of the issue as well as their war on rabies, the US government has banned oxygen use across the country. They believe abandoning oxygen is a crucial factor in winning the war against rabies.​​​

People were seen biting each other in the streets of Minneapolis, Minnesota, this morning as the United States government continued to fire missiles at its own cities in an attempt to physically destroy rabies using military force. Reporters on the scene had generally positive outlooks on the situation, stating that the war on rabies is a good thing for the country, and how by attacking itself, the US is making a gigantic leap in rabies eradication compared to the rest of the world. Rabies, however, continues to spread despite the harsh conditions. Recent reports state that the virus has now spread to trees and plants. Inconveniently for the government, rabies cases have skyrocketed compared to before the war effort. The government has also made the decision to nuke the White House because it 'had connections to rabies'. Leading officials of neighboring countries have spoken on the war, stating that it is 'necessary to eliminate rabies forever'.

Today was my first day of summer break after the end of my school year. It was a good day for the most part, nothing too bad. Went on two long bike rides and enjoyed the time outside even though it wasn't too nice outside today.

Think about things from a woman's perspective. Women go out into the everyday world to do one thing- exist. Not be judged, not be sexualized, just exist. And yet there's people out here who cannot help but look at that woman and completely dehumanize her, view her as a toy or an object rather than a real person. Criticise themselves because they don't look as good as the models on Pornhub. Try hard to be a good partner to their partner but receiving nothing but neglect afterwards because some guys would rather sit there and stroke themselves to some pixels on a screen. It happens in schools too. Girl tries to exist, strange boy on side of class stares at her body and plays a fantasy of her in his head. How is this what we as a society have normalised???

"Rabies needs to be eradicated", said the chief officer of Washington, D.C. today. The now military-run government decided as of June 9th at 11:23 pm that the U.S. were formally 'declaring war' on Rabies, and would perform the necessary action to eliminate the disease 'militarily'. Multiple major cities across the country have been bombed already, including New York City, Boston, Miami and San Francisco. Officials in the area believe the operation has seen success, and that rabies was actively 'running away scared' and that the thousands of deaths caused by the bombings were a 'necessary sacrifice' to 'destroy rabies forever'. Sanity questioned.

I've wasted and thrown away waaay too many streaks for just one more relapse. But now I feel different. Free, even. I know it's not the end of the journey but I'm happy to be up where I am now, this is the longest I've gone since 2024 when I gave up porn.

What is a wet dream, in terms of NoFap? A relapse? No, wet dreams happen unconsciously and can't necessarily be controlled during one. Are they unhealthy? Not at all. In fact, wet dreams are completely normal and healthy for the body, and they're a sign of the ​recovery process ​from porn and masturbation addiction ​if anything. Over time, when you don't fap, your body still produces semen and since you're not releasing it all fapping, especially without ​using pornography, your body excretes it when you're unconscious​. If you look at wet dreams in a negative way, you don't have to. It's scientifically and medically proven that they're good for you and they don't reverse any of the benefits you experience during the quitting process. If you have any questions feel free to drop them in the comments. I have 2 years off porn and would be happy to address any concerns.

Look we need to talk about porn in TV shows. Yesterday my dad was introducing me to a new show with some familiar actors in it and literally the first scene of the first episode I see there's porn on their TV. I looked away almost immediately but it's really awful that they even allow that stuff there to begin with. Why do we even have this stuff there? I ended up seeing porn completely involuntarily, and it's getting on my nerves

I'm about 5 weeks off of masturbation at this point (still 2 years off porn so I don't know how I still had a problem) and unlocked my 3rd wet dream today. I'm recovering slowly but surely