r/WeHatePorn

Been on day 21 then relapsed, does that count?

There was a time when getting dressed up for a date, getting a random text from someone I liked, going on a trip, even just meeting a new person actually felt exciting. At some point I started needing way more stimulation for the same reaction. Maybe it wasn't only porn, but porn definitely didn't help. Has anyone else felt their baseline excitement slowly come back after quitting?

I don't usually do the round number posts, but today felt like a good day to actually stop and look back instead of just moving through it.

568 days. A year and a half, plus change. When I started this, I genuinely didn't know I could get this far. The version of me back then couldn't have imagined feeling like a whole person again, but here I am.

It hasn't been a straight line, not even close. There were weeks that felt like standing still, days that felt like sliding backward, moments I almost gave up entirely. I've posted some of the hard ones here, the flat days, the urges that wouldn't quiet down, the shame that still shows up uninvited sometimes. I don't think this milestone means any of that stops happening. It just means I overcame those moments and came out the other side a little bit stronger.

What's actually changed isn't that the struggle disappeared, it's that I don't succumb to it anymore. I always try to do something positive, even on the bad days. I feel things instead of numbing them.

If you're early in this and 568 days feels impossibly far away, it was for me too, once. You don't have to see the whole road, just the next day. That's how you actually get here.

Thank you to everyone in this community who's read, commented, or shared their own story alongside mine. It's made this less lonely than it would've been otherwise.

Hii I'm a non-binary girl who's been struggling so much with this addiction and feel like I've tried everything but when i get triggered I always relapse so easily. I've heard mixed things about exposure therapy.. some people really swear by it being so amazing and really helps them control their urges if they do get randomly triggered. But at the same time I feel like it would just lead to a lot of relapses and struggles and might actually just be fake and not really help the problem.. Idk I'm confused cos like some people seem really helpful but idk if i can trust them..

I’m curious about this because I’ve noticed something strange. Some things I used to find insanely attractive online barely do anything for me in real life. And sometimes someone who looks completely normal in real life is way more attractive once I actually talk to them. I wonder how much years of curated images mess with our idea of attraction without us even realizing it.

This sounds stupid but I think this might be one of the biggest things porn did to me. The second there was nothing happening, I needed stimulation. Waiting for food? Porn. Lying in bed? Porn. Had a stressful day? Porn. Even when I wasn't particularly horny. I just couldn't sit with myself for 10 minutes. Has anyone else noticed this after quitting? Like you're slowly learning how to be bored again.

I give in !

Whenever you go to that particular place , at that time of the day , when no one's around.

You could work , study , learn , do something productive but no

The desire pulls you back into its den .

Sucks all the energy from you .

And then throws you lifeless , but now with guilt and regret and self hate .

This cycle repeats again and again .

My question for you is , are you not tired?

Don't you have any God damn self respect left in you?

Why do you forget how much it hurt the last time?

The thing is we only remember how good the porn and the dopamine was , we don't remember how we felt after it .

Rather i think , we do remember how it was , we know where the road will lead but the thirst for the dopamine is sooo high , we don't pay attention to these things , if we remember all this , it will easily turn us off , and then we won't get our cheap dopamine.

I am sick of the idea that the problem is not porn it's our lifestyle and mindset . A big fuckking no .

The problem is the porn , the problem is the god damn industry.The problem is our government which chooses not to ban it .

But

WE WONT LOOSE

WE WONT BEND

We will fucking win , it has no control over us if we know it's strategies .

My bf is a recovering PA. He requested we put lock filters on his phone. So he no longer has access to those type of sites, he cant access apps like X, Instagram or Snap. Recently hes been asking for nudes from me. Typically when the urge to access AC is at his highest.

Im not shy with sending nudes to him. We did it frequently when we first met but once our relationship settled out of the honeymoon phase, it dwindled.

Im trying my best to be the best support. He truly wants to let go of this addiction as it continuously hurts me and affects his life. So my question is, by sending nudes when the urge hits him enabling this behavior and hindering his recovery? Im so worried hes at some point going to view me as a supplement to his urge instead of a partner.

Fairly new relationship and genuinely, I can see my spending my life with this man. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, but our relationship is more like hanging out with a best friend rather than a boyfriend.

Mostly because our sex life is terrible and it’s a newer relationship. Ive had a couple conversations with him about how I feel unwanted, insecure, etc. and he finally told me he had a problem after I found his toy he was using rather than having sex with me.

I don’t want to give up on this, I want to make it work but speaking transparently, I think about other men all the time because we never have sex and if we do, I initiate it and he doesn’t cum.

How do I support him while protecting and improving our relationship as lovers?

I have been suffering with porn for 3 years straight and its ruining me . I was suicidal , depressed and anxious but as a last resort yesterday I made a post in r/NoFap community . I was thankful that I got some help . I am now less suicidal but still depressed I'm Grateful for mod's invitation and hope to get some help from this community , to escape this hell

-- Thanks

It functions just like a drug and it's just as addictive. They'll make it hard as a titanium deposit in a fucking mountain to get codeine for a toothache in the US but won't criminalize something 1000000× more addictive and accessible. I'm getting so tired of this, I'm about to check myself into a rehab facility to help with this, I feel like I can't focus or function without it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Can someone explain how this is still legal?

I wrote this following text by myself, but let it translate into English over KI.

We are between 40 and 50 years old.

After five years of relationship, I had to separate from my husband because he is a porn addict. He no longer consumes classic pornography, but rather his high-grade fetish content, what it doesn’t make anything better, in contrary. He watches it on YouTube or creates custom content himself using AI. He consumes it for several hours at a time – three hours is his standard, and the longest I found out about was five hours. Having completely lost control, he consumes it at every available opportunity. Even at the workplace. Or until the early hours of the morning. As a result, he constantly falls asleep during the day.

4 things I could no longer tolerate:

**Lies, lies, lies.** He lies as soon as he opens his mouth. On top of that comes gaslighting – twisting the truth despite evidence, trying to play me for a fool, and screwing me over completely.

**Our agreed definition of fidelity**, which includes digital acts, was not upheld by him. Yet, he expected me to comply and lived with the comfort of being able to rely on me, while he permanently cheated on me by jerking off to other women. I never was interested in any other man, I loved and adored him and had only eyes for him. Every second of our relationship I was completely loyal to him and gave him my whole energy: Mental, desires, emotional.
And I would have been this the rest of my life. When I once love anyone with my whole heart, this love cannot die. Except of it was gradually killed by this person himself.

Since he was unable to play by the rules, he now retroactively declares them to be unfair.

**The pressure of the addiction itself.** How he acts like a junkie in withdrawal as soon as he doesn't have the chance to indulge in his substance. He is dependent on times of absence so he can satisfy himself to other women online.
The most irreverent case was: I was in the hospital after a major operation, and he immediately used this absence to indulge in his addiction, generating pornographic content with AI for five hours straight. It honestly felt as if he was glad I was in the hospital just because it handed him a convenient opportunity to masturbate to his fetish-women he is obsessed with. If he doesn’t get these opportunities, he becomes extremely restless, nervous, and agitated. Just like a heroin addict. This atmosphere of addiction is disgusting.

**This Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde dynamic.** He has two faces. One is the caring, sweet, good-natured husband. The other is the dirty face of an addict who cheats on and lies to me. He fraudulently obtained this relationship from the very beginning by successfully hiding his pre-existing addiction from me.

We are married and own a house together. We could have had a beautiful future and wanted to grow old together. But his addiction to other women was more important to him.

He is resentful about the separation and portrays himself as the victim. Now, he also wants to ruin me financially. Because in his mind, the person who ends the relationship is to blame. Not the person who destroyed it.

I look forward to the day of my freedom, when we are also physically separated. Living together with my ex is an additional torment for me. I do not want to experience addiction in this house anymore. He doesn’t care for his own problems. He rather wants to break me mentally. Open discussions, finding solutions, being honest, taking consequences, for all of that he has no interest. He wants to go down with his addiction.

I am grieving not about the one I lost, but the one I had the illusion of him to be.

Im starting to get strong urges to rub, memories or thoughts of some of my triggers come flooding my brain more and more often 😵‍💫

I tried some advice but most of them only make me hold a little longer before relapsing

A lot of people spend years trying to figure out why they feel unmotivated, distracted, tired, socially anxious, or unable to stay consistent with their goals. They blame their genetics, their circumstances, their lack of discipline, or bad luck.

But many never stop to examine one habit that quietly consumes their time and attention: excessive pornography.

Porn is available 24/7. It requires no effort, no risk, no rejection, and no real-world investment. With a few clicks, you can access more sexual stimulation than any human being in history could have imagined. The problem is that your brain was never designed for endless novelty.

Over time, what starts as occasional entertainment can become a routine. A routine becomes a habit. A habit becomes a dependency.

You tell yourself you'll only watch for ten minutes. An hour disappears.

You tell yourself you'll start working after one video. Your motivation disappears.

You tell yourself you'll quit tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes next week, then next month, then next year.

The biggest cost isn't the time spent watching.

The biggest cost is the person you could have become during that time.

Imagine if the hours spent scrolling were invested into:
• Building a business
• Learning a valuable skill
• Getting in shape
• Reading books
• Improving social skills
• Strengthening relationships
• Pursuing goals you've been putting off

Nobody is saying that every person who watches porn has a problem. But if you constantly feel drained, distracted, and unable to focus on what matters, it's worth asking yourself an honest question:

Is this habit helping my life, or holding it back?

The truth is that successful people are not successful because they have more time than everyone else. They succeed because they protect their attention. Attention is one of the most valuable resources you own. Whatever repeatedly captures it will shape your future.

That's why so many people today are choosing to "lock in"—to remove unnecessary distractions, reclaim their focus, and start taking their goals seriously.

If you're trying to break unproductive habits, stay accountable, and build stronger daily discipline, lockinginnow .com can help. Whether you're tracking progress, setting goals, or creating better routines, having a system makes change far easier than relying on motivation alone.

At some point, everyone faces the same choice:

Keep consuming, or start creating.

Keep escaping, or start building.

Keep waiting, or lock in now.

One year from today, you'll either be grateful you took control of your habits—or wishing you had started sooner.

This is a world where a sexualised woman is put on an ad for a product that is neither for women nor for sex. This is a world that has sold porn and called it all kinds of compelling things, from release to freedom, Porn entered our lives through subtle moments. Moments like a sex joke from your friend, moments where there was a hint on tv, moments where you were just curious about hell.

But now, we shall stand out, raise our voices and say NO to this insult to humanity, to masculinity and to femininity!

NO to insulting women into thinking that they're share of a relationship is sexual attention

NO to insulting men into shamelessly watching naked people PRETENDING to have fun.

NO to insulting us into being perverts.

We are NOT expendable monkeys

We are NOT replaceable addicts

We are NOT incapable perverts

We are INDOMINABLE MEN & WOMEN

We stand together, against this shameless merchandise. Against young men's poison, against women's reputation venom, and against being perverts. RALLY WITH ME!

I’ve been addicted for about 6 years or so. I started when i was 7-8 yo i was on my ipad and out of curiosity i went on safari and a random site popped up “redtube” i was confused but it looked interesting and when I realized i could get a “good feeling” by beating my meat its been a continuous cycle i started in mid 2019 then 2025 i realized i could “stroke” my you know what and i felt the same feeling as when j started and i haven’t been able to stop i know im ruining my f-ing life but i dont know how.

please any suggestions could help i’ve tried to search tips and guidance on how to quit but its like a get-away from the real world i read on yt and my dopamine receptors are numbed because of this shi i want to quit but it keeps re routing my brain i dont know how I DONT KNOW HOW TO QUIT i wanna get my life together as a 12 yo please anything would help (yes im a muslim)

Just woke up, urges are rising (and other things), i’m on day 4 and Im afraid i’ll lose it 😫

Please help…

Day 3, going through, how do I clean it?