u/CappucinoCupcake

Yes, Frens, todae is mine Speshul Dae. It a bittersweet day for Mama as she remembers mine bio-Mama and all mine siblings at teh Bridge.

Butt. I habs chimpkin! And gushy fud! In honour ob mine Burfdae, mine bowels MOAST well behabed…I only poop on Mama’s sheets 😈😈😈

Burfdae Caek and Icy Screem for EBERYONE!

🎂🍨🍨🍨🍨🍦🍦🍦🍦🍧🍧🍧🍧🍦🍦🍦🍦🎂

Jasmine teh IBS Crimnal

Pee Ess big thank mew to Fren Olaf’s Purrson for this egg salad pickchur ob me.

This is Toulouse-William, Roving Rewparter KKMG, repawting that Ai maiself am SICKTODEFF ob this stinking heat. Teh MaybeNewMama is fudding me wiff wet fud AS WELL AS MINE KIBBLE, and she put ice cyoobs in mai water bowl, BUTT, it is too hot and Ai maiself MOAST crabby about teh situation.

Kynx Kat hab allowed us repawters to forgo our usual business attire, so in this pickchur you will see me, Tee-Dubs, nekkid as a kittin as I rest in teh shaed at teh front ob mai howse.

In pickchur two (2), if’n I might introduce you to teh new junior repawter. Himbs noes hab a naem yet PLUS juss liek maiself, himbs hab a full set of troublepuffs. MNM feeding him wheneber he show up, and Ai do not mind acause 1) Ai maiself bery kind and B) Ai still gets teh saem amount ob fud.

Teh webber roundup as follows

Caturday (today) Scorchio and juss too hots

Sundae Sky booms, lightening and rain, still hot

Monday onwards: Temperchure drop ob ten (10) degrees. Hurrah.

This hab been Tee-Dubs for KKMG, signing off for naow.

Our Mama not rilly watch this moobie afore, BUTT. She alwaes did liek teh men in suits. So here we habs Tee-Dubs, George E. Porgie and Jasmine teh Interstellar IBS Crimnal…

ETA Where is our manners! Big, yuge thank mew to Fren Olaf’s human for once agayn probide MOAST egg salad pickchur

I could drop stink bombs from teh sky 😈😈😈

Thanks to Fren Olaf’s human for their purrfect pickchurs ❤️

My Meowmther wonders if’n we should habs a “Monday Musings” flair, acause as she sit next to me on teh sofa this morning, we did a think back to some ob teh MOAST BEST CRIMEZ us catses habs committed ober teh years.

🌈William teh Other Tuxedo🌈 was a GRATE BRAKER OB CAWFEE CUPS. Alwaes teh fabrit mugs, alwaes deliberate and alwaes whilst maek eye contact with Meowmther. Heheheh.

We all knoes about Jasmine’s STINKEE CRIMES, GO CRIMEZ!

Butt. Teh winner ob teh GRATEST CRIMEZ EBER in our house goes to me, myself and I, for teh tiem Meowmther put her litebocks down and I promptly yarked mine brefus all.ober.it. Frens, it was GLOARIOUS. It was mumfs before she could use it again. Heheheheh 😈

So, Frens, I would liek to knoes Your Gratest CRIMEZ.

George E. Porgie

Pee Ess A note to teh pawrents here - Spilling teh beans about our various and Magnificat CRIMEZ is NOT AN ADMISSION OB GUILT.

Stoopid heatwabe really getting in mine lass nerbe. BUTT. Mine Mammy alwaes shaer teh icy lollipop wiff me. MOAST refresh, bery cooling.

Mammy sai I mine own self is laser-focused wheneber she returns from teh Tall Icy Bocks wiff icy screem. And she is a sucker for mine cuteness, so here we are…

Eamonn teh Inbisible

Tee-Dubs repawtering for KKMG, wiff a strong outlook ob OUTRAG SHOKK DISGRAC regarding this stinking heatwabe. Frens, Ai maiself HAET it. MNM habs gibs maiself icy cubes in teh water bowel…and this was much app-ree-she-ate BUTT lass night teh Ebil Focks once again did a Big Wee in teh bowel AND A BIG POO on teh doormat! Luckily, MNM arrived hoem from werk at juss teh right tiems and she cleaned up mai fud area. Those fockses is teh bane ob mai lief, Ai swares.

Ai habs a bery niec pied-a-terre in teh shaep ob a littul shelter which is cool in hot webber and warm in brrr-chilly tiems. Ai also habs a cooling mat BUTT Ai am a littul appurhensibe about such.

Not all Catses are as lucky as Ai maiself, so please leabe bowels ob cold water out whereber this is pawsibble. Lotsa wildlife pass through wiffout humans eben notice, such as STRAY CATSES, BERDS, FOCKSES and SKRILLS (Fat Gary doesn’t count) and they will be MOAST grapefruit for a drink.

MNM sai she hab seen manee manee caeses ob dogses and catses with heat stroke at her werk this week. Manee manee humans bery upset and they noes realise AMINALS CAN DIE IN TEH HEAT! Well. They lurn an esspensibb lessun.

Teh webber outlook for teh part ob teh you-kay where Ai reside is as follows

HOT HOT HOT HOT

GAH.

This habs been Tee-Dubs for KKMG, signing off until nexx tiems.

Tee-Dubs from KKMG wiff brake news! Teh aliems are here a they are MOAST frenlee! They gibs snacks and eberythin! Teh second pickchur is their Supurreme Leader, George E. Porgie.

MOAR news at ten!

This hab been Toulouse-William for INTERSTELLAR KKMG

Pee Ess Huge big thanks to Fren Olaf’s human for teh MOAST EGGSALAD pickchurs

You roving repawter Toulouse-William (stage naem Tee-Dubs) live from teh front ob mine howse.

Furst ob all, I apawlagise for teh lack ob repawtering BUTT Ai maiself habs been busy romancing teh neighbourhood. MaybeNewMama worried Ai will soon need to start paying child support afore Ai become considered a ‘deadbeat dad’, whateber that might be.

Anywaes and eberything (as teh brother from another mother that Ai neber did meet would sai), Ai hab in recent tiems had a SHOKK OUTRAG cold and sneezes. MNM was MOAST concern. Wiff teh helps ob teh Pokey Plaice lady, and soem medsin that she did sneekily add to mine fud, Ai am naow all better.

Earlier this week, teh webber was frightful. Teh haylestoens, teh torrential rain, teh winds, teh frost AND TEH EBIL SKYBOOMS. Ai maed teh littul shelter (see pickchur three) mai base during this tiems. Also, easy access to snacks by teh front door.

Butt, Tee-Dubs, Ai hear you sai. What ob this ‘Double Trubble’ you menshun earlier? WELL. Ai tell you. At teh weekend, in a moev MOAST unusual for Ai maiself, Ai hid out behind teh bins at MNM howse and when she got close to maiself, Ai did a big HISSHISSHISS and SPITSPITSPIT at her. This enough to conbince her Ai was pawlee, which led to seberal daes ob worrying for her. Then yesterday, Ai was back to normal, eben going so far as to put mine paws in teh threshold ob teh howse, can you eben belleb it!
Naow, this teh amusing bit. When MNM and her neighbour did come back from teh supermarket this afternoon, Ai maiself was sit on teh neighbour drivewaes. Then when MNM went to teh front door, there Ai was again! MNM sai, haow on Urf did you move so fast, Lousie-Lou? Bery quietly and bery sneekily, she and neighbour laydee did walk back to drivewaes and there Ai was, sit still and inscrutable. Equally quiet and sneekily, they did walk back…in tiems to see a slightly smoller bersion ob Ai maiself running off! THERE ARE TWO OB ME!!! We luks almoast teh saem, but mini-me has slightly different markings and an attitude pawblem (hence teh HISSHISSHISS). Could this be mine child? Could this be mine gurlfur? Stae tuned for teh next episode of “Daes ob our Lives”

This hab been Tee-Dubs for KKMG, signing out.

Once again, a film mine terribly uncultured Mammy hab neber seen, can you eben beleebs it.

BUTT. Our Fren Olaf’s human hab once again helped out (thank mew, Fren. MOAST talemt), so I mine own self purrsent mine own self and mine gurlfur
Ruby u/Ksh_667 as we dancedancedance our waes across teh disco floar.

Eamonn teh Inbisible and Preshus Ruby.

Mine Mammy habs never seen this film, can you eben beleebs it. BUTT. Fren Olaf’s human (thank mew, Fren - you is bery talemt) did a maek ob this MOAST EGG SALAD pickchur ob mine own self and mine preshus gurlfur Ruby, u/Ksh_667

I am Puke Eyewarmer and mine gurlfur is ob coarse teh Princess.

Other than that, I hab noes clooo what this dumb film abouts.

Your Fren, Eamonn teh Inbisible AKA Pukey Eyewarmer