u/Careful_Hart233

After years with the person and feeling something was off, did you hope that he was gay— because that would have made everything make sense?

My husband, whose sexuality I’m questioning, always has a new pride sticker on his laptop every year. I’ve asked him about it and he says he’s an ally- fair enough. But could it be a way to signal to other gay men that he’s gay? I checked out a few dudes’ laptops at the coffee shop today and no guys in my ultra progressive city have rainbow stickers on their laptops

Married 8 years together 10. I have asked for some form of therapy since we married . In fact I suggested going to gottman classes before we got married and it was always met with this hint of disdain- like he was just a little too good and too smart to do something like communication classes or therapy. Our sex life has always been a bit off and he’s always refused to go to sex therapy. Whatever type of therapy and he has pushed back- until now. Because I have one foot out door. And now he’s all in — at least that’s what he says.

A part of me is okay with trying therapy because if we divorce, then hopefully it will give us more communication skills and help us to talk better through the process. Either way I am just so annoyed that now he s willing when for the last decade he pushed back. He’s even acting like he was never even against the idea of going to therapy. So annoying!!

Must be in the USA and have an established agency
Must be good w/online searches- Suspect my (40 y/o female) husband may be on gay dating apps.

Hi group

I have withdrawn a lot in my marriage so that I can contemplate what I want and if I can stay in this marriage. My husband has been critical and controlling and I don’t know that he truly loves me. I think he may be closeted actually. During this process my husband has noticed and wants me to give him reassurance and hugs and tell him everything is great. Well, everything is not great but I don’t know how to tell him. He may get desperate if he thinks I’m considering divorce. He’ll want to talk all night and need reassurance right away. Prob try to stop me from going to work . So my first plea to the reditverse is help with what to say.

My second is a request for recs on communication courses we could take together. Not to save the marriage but just to help us to communicate whether we stay together or not. If we do divorce, I want to keep it as amicable as possible for our children.