u/Certain_Boat1292

I turned 30 and I am a male. No cake, no midnight calls, no plans. I made a coffee for myself and sat on my study table with a half-read Laxmikanth staring back at me, and all I can hear around me is the sound of celing fan.

I didn’t even realise what date it was until my mother called me in the morning to wish me on my birthday. She asked if I was going to eat something nice today. I lied and said yes, but the reality is I might just have a peice of chocolate.

There are times when I have felt so tired and by tired I don't mean physically tired but mentally and emotionally drained. The endless cycles of Prelims, Mains, waiting for results, dealing with self-doubt, and constantly saying to myself that "I can do it."

The worst part of this preparation is that you don't have anyone to call your friend, your hobbies goes away with time and you don't have love or a relationship unlike most of the people. I would like to get my hobbies back and person who is there for me and get love and affection or atleast a friend but these things are not meant for me or someone who is in this preparation. Life is so tough. Here I am thinking about so many things but I don't even have someone to talk to or share how I am feeling today.

I am not writing this for sympathy but I needed to put it here because nobody outside this rat race understands how much you go through on daily basis and how loneliness eats you out.

I am taking a break from studying today. I need a day of peace. I am just going to let myself feel human instead of a robot who studies all day long. I do want someone who could talk to me and being there for me but this all is a far fetched dream. Thank you for reading this.

I turned 30 and I am a male. No cake, no midnight calls, no plans. I made a coffee for myself and sat on my study table with a half-read Laxmikanth staring back at me, and all I can hear around me is the sound of celing fan.

I didn’t even realise what date it was until my mother called me in the morning to wish me on my birthday. She asked if I was going to eat something nice today. I lied and said yes, but the reality is I might just have a peice of chocolate.

There are times when I have felt so tired and by tired I don't mean physically tired but mentally and emotionally drained. The endless cycles of Prelims, Mains, waiting for results, dealing with self-doubt, and constantly saying to myself that "I can do it."

The worst part of this preparation is that you don't have anyone to call your friend, your hobbies goes away with time and you don't have love or a relationship unlike most of the people. I would like to get my hobbies back and person who is there for me and get love and affection or atleast a friend but these things are not meant for me or someone who is in this preparation. Life is so tough. Here I am thinking about so many things but I don't even have someone to talk to or share how I am feeling today.

I am not writing this for sympathy but I needed to put it here because nobody outside this rat race understands how much you go through on daily basis and how loneliness eats you out.

I am taking a break from studying today. I need a day of peace. I am just going to take a nap and then sit on the balcony in the evening and maybe, go for a walk and let myself feel human instead of a robot who studies all day long. I do want someone who could talk to me and being there for me but this all is a far fetched dream. Thank you for reading this.

I am a 30 years old guy, I have never dated and neither been romantically involved. I am an introvert, focusing on my career and keeping to myself. A few days ago, I finally gathered the courage to write about it on reddit and posted how I crave intimacy and romance in my life. It was a big thing for me to admit and post about it. A girl started talking to me after reading my post and it seemed that she was genuinely interested in.

We texted for a bit and I thought things were going good but it was an illusion. Her exact reasoning? She asked for my picture and I sent it to her. She blatantly told me that I am "brown" and she don't like the shade of my skin and we cannot talk further. I honestly thought that I have found someone.

Just like that. Not because we didn't vibe, not because we had different values or interests, but because of the shade of my skin.

I am just... bewildered. Maybe hurt a little. It was a massive slap in the face. But mainly I am frustrated and exhausted with this country's mindset. We live in India. The vast majority of us are brown! The sun beats down on us practically all year round. Why are we acting like having melanin is some kind of genetic defect?

We are in a modern world and we live in 2026 but people are still walking around with this colonial hangover? We have rebranded "Fair & Lovely" to "Glow & Lovely" because we want to remove the skin colour taboo but the mentality hasn't changed. Even when you look at the marketing of beauty products they brand themselves as "Removing tan"

I am who hasn't been dated or intimate before, this was a harsh wake-up call to how superficial things can be. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, but hearing someone reject you to your face over a shade of your skin colour makes you hyper-aware of something you literally cannot change.

I just don't understand how someone can look past a person's nature as a whole and base their entire perception of their worth on the amount of melanin in their skin. It is heartbreaking.

Please tell me I'm not the only one completely fed up with this fair-skin obsession. I'm just tired.

I cannot say this out loud to anyone in real life. I am sharing what I feel here today after thinking about it a lot because there are times when I just want to lock myself in my room and cry because it gets tough.

I don’t just mean segx. I mean anything which comes under intimacy and romance. I have not even kissed. I have never held hands with anyone's hand romantically. I have never had someone run their fingers through my hair while looking at me or just pull me into a hug.

We are completely paradoxical as society. I grew up up in a typical Indian middle-class family and even while talking to the opposite gender in school was scrutinised by classmates, dating was a taboo, and intimacy was a dirty word that you just didn't bring up.

Even when I craved for it because of social conditioning I told myself to put my head down, study, get a degree and thereafter, get a job.

What I have realised that you don't crave intimacy like the way you start craving at the time when you reach 27-28 years old.

When you reach your thirties in India, most of the people are not ust dating anymore, they are either in a committed relationship or married with kid whereas I am sitting here desperately craving just a fraction of what they take for granted. I feel so left behind.

I do crave intimacy. I want to know what it feels like to sit on a couch next to someone after a long day, eest my head on their shoulder and feel safe. I want the warmth of a woman who actually wants to be close to me.

I just want to feel normal and I want to feel the heat of intimacy. There are times when I wish that I had someone in my life.

Is there anyone else out there here who is navigating this? Please tell me I'm not the only one walking around with this secret.

I am a 30 years old guy, I have never dated and neither been romantically involved. I am an introvert, focusing on my career and keeping to myself. A few days ago, I finally gathered the courage to write about it on reddit and posted how I crave intimacy and romance in my life. It was a big thing for me to admit and post about it. A girl started talking to me after reading my post and it seemed that she was genuinely interested in.

We texted for a bit and I thought things were going good but it was an illusion. Her exact reasoning? She asked for my picture and I sent it to her. She blatantly told me that I am "brown" and she don't like the shade of my skin and we cannot talk further. I honestly thought that I have found someone.

Just like that. Not because we didn't vibe, not because we had different values or interests, but because of the shade of my skin.

I am just... bewildered. Maybe hurt a little. It was a massive slap in the face. But mainly I am frustrated and exhausted with this country's mindset. We live in India. The vast majority of us are brown! The sun beats down on us practically all year round. Why are we acting like having melanin is some kind of genetic defect?

We are in a modern world and we live in 2026 but people are still walking around with this colonial hangover? We have rebranded "Fair & Lovely" to "Glow & Lovely" because we want to remove the skin colour taboo but the mentality hasn't changed. Even when you look at the marketing of beauty products they brand themselves as "Removing tan"

I am who hasn't been dated or intimate before, this was a harsh wake-up call to how superficial things can be. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, but hearing someone reject you to your face over a shade of your skin colour makes you hyper-aware of something you literally cannot change.

I just don't understand how someone can look past a person's nature as a whole and base their entire perception of their worth on the amount of melanin in their skin. It is heartbreaking.

Please tell me I'm not the only one completely fed up with this fair-skin obsession. I'm just tired.

I cannot say this out loud to anyone in real life. I am sharing what I feel here today after thinking about it a lot because there are times when I just want to lock myself in my room and cry because it gets tough.

I am 30 years old and have never experienced any form of intimacy. I am from North India.

I don’t just mean segx. I mean anything which comes under intimacy and romance. I have not even kissed. I have never held hands with anyone's hand romantically. I have never had someone run their fingers through my hair while looking at me or just pull me into a hug.

We are completely paradoxical as society. I grew up up in a typical Indian middle-class family and even while talking to the opposite gender in school was scrutinised by classmates, dating was a taboo, and intimacy was a dirty word that you just didn't bring up.

Even when I craved for it because of social conditioning I told myself to put my head down, study, get a degree and thereafter, get a job.

What I have realised that you don't crave intimacy like the way you start craving at the time when you reach 27-28 years old.

When you reach your thirties in India, most of the people are not ust dating anymore, they are either in a committed relationship or married with kid whereas I am sitting here desperately craving just a fraction of what they take for granted. I feel so left behind.

I do crave intimacy. I want to know what it feels like to sit on a couch next to someone after a long day, eest my head on their shoulder and feel safe. I want the warmth of a woman who actually wants to be close to me.

I just want to feel normal and I want to feel the heat of intimacy. There are times when I wish that I had someone in my life.

Is there anyone else out there here who is navigating this? Please tell me I'm not the only one walking around with this secret.

Would I ever find love or someone would marry me?

I cannot say this out loud to anyone in real life. I am sharing what I feel here today after thinking about it a lot because there are times when I just want to lock myself in my room and cry because it gets tough.

I am 30 years old and have never experienced any form of intimacy. I am from North India.

I don’t just mean segx. I mean anything which comes under intimacy and romance. I have not even kissed. I have never held hands with anyone's hand romantically. I have never had someone run their fingers through my hair while looking at me or just pull me into a hug.

We are completely paradoxical as society. I grew up up in a typical Indian middle-class family and even while talking to the opposite gender in school was scrutinised by classmates, dating was a taboo, and intimacy was a dirty word that you just didn't bring up.

Even when I craved for it because of social conditioning I told myself to put my head down, study, get a degree and thereafter, get a job.

What I have realised that you don't crave intimacy like the way you start craving at the time when you reach 27-28 years old.

When you reach your thirties in India, most of the people are not ust dating anymore, they are either in a committed relationship or married with kid whereas I am sitting here desperately craving just a fraction of what they take for granted. I feel so left behind.

I do crave intimacy. I want to know what it feels like to sit on a couch next to someone after a long day, eest my head on their shoulder and feel safe. I want the warmth of a woman who actually wants to be close to me.

I just want to feel normal and I want to feel the heat of intimacy. There are times when I wish that I had someone in my life.

Is there anyone else out there here who is navigating this? Please tell me I'm not the only one walking around with this secret.