I’ve never seen him romantically, so why am I suddenly acting like this?
How can I (19F) tell whether I’m developing romantic feelings for my best friend (19M) or if I’m just emotionally attached because he supported me through a difficult time? and
What signs would help me distinguish between romantic attraction and emotional dependence?
i’ve been best friend with him since 2 years and i’ve never seen him in a romantic way ever, actually i’m always joking about him being gay. I’ve put him on with multiple of my friends and it never bothered me. But recently i noticed that i was thinking about him frequently, i will make efforts to keep the conversation going, i would try my best to spend most of my time with him and i would be annoyed if one of our mutual friends would tag along with us. tbh, i’m a possessive person and the way i acted with him wasn’t different from the way i acted with my female best friend. The thing that makes me confused is how i kinda seek his validation.
Maybe it’s bc he’s a man and i don’t have anything romantic going on at the moment but sometimes i would get happy if someone mistakes us for a couple. Something important to mention is that 2025 was a rough year for me and a lot happened and he was really there for me so i was thinking i was just really emotionally dependent on him in a unhealthy way that made me clingy. I don’t know if i see him as a paternal/male figure in my life or if i actually like him.
I don’t feel like i like him but my reasoning is that if you have a doubt about something it means there’s no doubt to have. If i was certain i didn’t like him i wouldn’t question myself.
I don’t really have anyone to talk about to bc everyone thinks me and him like each other and me opening up about my confusion would just make those rumors worse. not gonna lie , even if i come to the conclusion that i like him i would NEVER confess. bc i know i’m not his type and he doesn’t find me attractive. and he’s a very conventionally attractive guy who is liked by girls (my opposite tbh i wouldn’t say i’m not conventionally pretty but i’m just not that outstanding and i’ve never had a boyfriend or a real flirt that lasted more than a week)
Maybe that’s the reason why i want his approval. Mind you he’s an easy man, i think i’ve heard him at least once tell me about every girl we know that she was pretty or he had a crush on her. except me. i mean he’s not supposed to have a crush on me or something but i guess since he’s the only guy in daily life i want him to say i’m pretty or sum.
when i’m with him, i’m my usual self and i don’t really feel weird or anything. we be making “flirty jokes” but first we both do it all the time with everyone, it’s our friendgroup’s humor i would say and second i don’t really feel anything when we jokingly flirt. i can’t really picture myself with him in a romantic way but idk if it’s bc i’m in denial or bc i rlly see him as my friend.
Throughout our whole friendship, i’ve sometimes ask myself about that but really vaguely. those days i see my behavior changing so that’s why i’m questioning myself more.
idk this situation is really weird and i don’t think i’m actually in love or falling for him but i need an external opinion. i’ve tried my best to put all my emotions and thoughts about this situation but it’s a bit messy. hope i will find an answer. thanks for everyone who has taken their time to read that message.
Has anyone experienced something similar, and how did you figure out whether it was friendship or romantic feelings?