u/Cheeki-Breeki-Greeki

Cope and nonsense. Almost every girl functions the same. They don't admire you for these qualities. My ex is crazy af but I am thankful to her for opening my eyes. My experience with her taught me that opening up to women is never a good idea. They might make it look like they care (hell, they might believe it themselves), but sooner or later, they will use ts against you. Now, maybe you will find the girl who will admire your honesty and emotional intelligence, but is it even worth it? Like, isn't it better to adjust yourself to the remaining 99 girls instead of trying to find the perfect one and get hurt in the process? My ex gave me enough reasons to never trust girls in that way, I even started noticing some pattern with my previous talking stages and crushes. At the end of the day, I believe these girls liked my personality and looks, but they never found me being open, sensitive or whatever fuck you want to call it, attractive. They are programmed to see it as a weakness, nothing more. I am not advocating for being a dickhead or prick, but you should know your limits when searching for a romantic partner. Shit, even if she won't break up with you just cuz you opened up, you sure af believe she will at least use that information *during* the breakup. Trust me, you don't need additional damage

Like how did we fall for those people guys, why couldn't we date each other instead 🤣

Sometimes, this makes me even angrier than the breakup. I mean, surely they can't understand what type of pain this is because they obviously never experienced this, but ffs why are they keeping acting like it's all in our head? They say that everyone suffers from a breakup in their life. Well, guess what avoidant breakup is on a different level. This shit must be some sort of psychological torture. It's the first time in my life I have ever felt depressed, I mean fuck me read what people write in this sub, some of them even older folks (who are more experienced than me) went absolute nuts after dating an avoidant for A FEW MONTHS. And you can't even prove anything to them, even though allat is literally in psychology and attachment types are real, you just can't wrap their heads around the idea that a breakup can be so cruel. You literally tell them stories that even battle hardened people who have seen diabolical shit in their lives got destroyed by short term relationship with an avoidant, and they would still not believe you

Your ego wants to make sure they never forget you. They miss you every day, they regret their decision and so on. This changes absolutely nothing to you. You don't have that person in your life anymore. What difference is it going to make? You try to save your self-worth and self-image by imagining how they regret their decision for their whole life (or "at least" for a few months, years, or whatever, lol). You don't need allat to know your worth, your confidence shouldn't depend on other person's thoughts. Let say they do miss you and regret what they did. What difference is it going to make? You don't have contact, you will never (hopefully) be together again. They disrespected you and hurt you EVEN when they cared about you, I know it sounds paradoxical, but they did their best while they were in a relationship and you still got betrayed, what difference is it going to make now? My ex and I had few talks post breakup, and she acted cold toward me, even though it didn't "end bad" for her pov, but she still treated me this way. So if I make her hate me even more, what difference is it going to make? She will forget me much sooner, she won't cry anymore while thinking about me or what? You want to be sure you were special for that person, that's why you seek to know whether they miss you or not. I believe we were special to them, but this doesn't matter anymore post breakup. You shouldn't seek validation by guessing whether your avoidant ex misses you or not. Control your ego and you won't care about it anymore

Especially if it was your first relationship (like mine). They make you feel like you are the best person in the world, that you have the best appearance, you are super smart, you have perfect height, body, you are good at love and etc. Think about it like glazing, lol. They show you that they are obsessed with you, and there's absolutely no chance they would leave you (because why would they leave someone that perfect, right?). So the moment they leave, you start to think you did something wrong. Did a crucial mistake and messed everything up, and you lost the only person who could love you that much. That's bullshit. Most likely, you do have all the good qualities I mentioned, but your avoidant ex couldn't keep up with the relationship. Remember, they won't last in a relationship, no matter who they date. I doubt my ex was lying and love bombing me, I think she genuinely appreciated the person I was, so she glazed me like crazy while we were still in a relationship, but there's no point in continuing that after a break up. Moving on is super hard because you were getting constant dopamine hits from them, constant compliments, and now it's all gone. On the other hand, that doesn't mean you won't find a person who will appreciate your traits and stay with you till the end. Your ex wasn't the only person who could recognise the good in you, just remember that. You are not limited to them

You don't need to memorise how they act. You don't need to be careful when talking to that person so you won't give "ick." You shouldn't be okay with that push-pull bullshit. You shouldn't reject your own big principles and ideas so you can stay with that person. I am not saying you shouldn't compromise, but it's not like you need to do everything you can to make sure that person won't leave you. Ikyk exactly what you used to do for the other person and ikyk what you used to think in those moments. No, most of you were not asking for "too much." You weren't dramatising. You weren't overthinking. You did the basics things (they didn't, btw), and hell, you overworked your ass so that messed up person would stay with you forever, but you DON'T need to do that if the person wants to stay with you forever. The moment you find a healthy relationship and a healthy person, you will know how much you were losing when you were dating your ex. Relationships are not easy, but they are also not THAT hard. You will find your peace and comfort and eventually will understand how satisfying it is to be with the right person, someone who won't shit on your mood and won't make your whole day or a week miserable just because they are not capable of truly being in a relationship

She was so cold and angry, it's almost like I was talking to my rival, like I was some evil stranger to her who managed to piss her off. Breakup is one thing, but how she handled it was just brutal. She later admitted she said allat in order to make me angry and disappointed in her and help me to move on faster, but man, this doesn't fix shit. In fact, I am still not over her after almost 1 month, and plus, I keep remembering all those words she told me that night. This shit genuinely messed me up in any way possible, my trust in other people, my self-esteem, my principles, everything. I know whatever she said was total bullshit but it was so hurtful to hear these words from the person I deeply love. I just want to rest, I am exhausted

"Our relationship is shit, I am not happy because you didn't do X and did Y"

"Okay, but why didn't you tell me all that before you let it poison your mind, why you kept it as a secret. Well, now as I know what's wrong, you will give me time to fix and change, right?"

"No, I made up my mind and there's nothing you can do, don't blame yourself, like I know blaming yourself is the least of your problems right now, it won't make it better that everything ended, but don't blame yourself, please, you deserve better! Oh, all that I love you, I will never leave and other stuff? I was scared you would break up with me? Don't worry, I will break up with you, now enjoy your depression, never contact me again and just forget me, it's so easy, right?"

Honestly what the fuck?

Genuinely one of the biggest copes I have ever heard, especially when you scroll through social media. It's insane how much disrespect such men are getting from their wives or girlfriends. Posts where wife is asking her husband for a sperm donor because that guy is short and she wants her kids to be taller, or how wives obsess over some celebrity/movie character in front of their husbands, like, we are talking about married women here and they have kids. And this is some "easy" cases. of course, not all of those women cheat physically, however, emotional cheating is messed up, too. There's no way it's okay for your girlfriend to obsess over celebrity in front of you, to tell you she saw someone tall and hot when she was taking a walk and etc. Such men are ok-ish enough to be datable, but they are not enough to gain full respect from their partners. I am not saying you need to be a chad to make sure your partner is interested in you and only you, but definitely need to be above average. Normies cope with shit like "Oh it's just a celebrity crush, oh she just likes this character, nothing serious". Yea hell no, those mfs are still real people, the fact she doesn't know them irl means nothing. Hell, I have seen posts where girls openly confess they have fantasizes about their partner's male friends.
So TL:DR being short, super skinny, ugly or whatever doesn't mean you can't get a partner, it means you will never achieve full respect from her and this is quite sad.
Basically water is wet

https://preview.redd.it/gocrmtmacx2h1.png?width=1758&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6b09676624763a027123d334b81a705aaa92f86

Started with -12 points, but managed to get enough wins/draws to reach second place at the end of the season. I lost the last match to Oxford, but got pretty luck with Doncaster game :D Play-offs are pain in the ass, so very happy with the result

https://preview.redd.it/ecumhyvhcx2h1.png?width=623&format=png&auto=webp&s=e54c8591aa2b01f421ccbfdcbf760b16a19a3696

I don't like things he does, I don't like how he acts or talks, but let make one thing clear: This guy made his ultimate goal to become as attractive as possible, he did a lot of messed up shit to achieve that. One thing he believes in is that some people are genetically more gifted compared to the others, whether it might be looks, height, physique, or anything else. Also, he believes in lookism and how looks matter. Of course, people called him "incel" (he's not even a incel by definition) and a loser. However, the people literally proved his points. His interview with that Australian guy and meeting with that judge are clear examples. People said things like: "Wow, he's literally trying to get more attractive 24/7, but those two are still more attractive than him without even trying," well, yeah, no shit? The guy said it everything himself. They are repeating his own words and subconsciously believe in ideas he preached. You can't even justify that with "they had better personality" or some shit because people said all that looking on photos, lol. What personality could you possibly analyse with that? It's even better when people call him ugly or some shit as an insult, but why would they do that? The same people say that looks doesn't matter, so, logically speaking, what looks have to do with his shit takes? His haters actually do act like similar to what Clav believes. They just don't agree with him because he's a piece of trash, and he shows his believes in a different way

Men simp for women, they rise their ego, thus woman think of herself as a "prize" (even if she's chopped and 5'1), but hear me out: The only real problem that concerns me is bullying that men are getting if they don't meet most (not all) women standards, like being tall or very handsome. That's it, if woman really want a tall chad, then she can dream of him, but it doesn't mean she should bully short or ugly guys, tell them to kill themselves and so on. And you might say their standards are absurdly stupid and I agree, however, logically speaking, why would they consider lowering their standards, if they are getting complimented 24/7 by normies, simps and other idiots? Why would they think of that, when they can get everything they want, like "having fun" in their twenties and then settling with some loser who can't respect himself, or woman can be mediocre at best and easily get a good looking boyfriend and so on. Think of that: if the roles were reversed, would you, a mid man, refuse to use various privileges that the other gender gave to you? That's why there's a little point to debate women who already have their standards since they were a teenager and, no matter how you "explain" things to them, those standards won't change. However, we can try to fix the main problem that causes all this shit by teaching men how to respect themselves and have some self esteem. I repeat, the maximum we can do right now is to concentrate on our gender, there's no point in debating with women on this exact topic

Me and my gf have this problem. Basically, when we message each other activity status glitches and it's being unstable. For example, I could text her for, let say, 30 minutes, but her activity would still show "Active 50 minutes ago" or something like that, she says it's the same for me. What may be the problem and how to fix that?