u/Cinny10

I had my fusion in 2019 so I just passed my 7 year anniversary and I've recently (around a year ago) developed a new pain in my left shoulder.

My spine had a backwards S curve so my top curve was going towards my right side of my body.

My left shoulder has been recently getting super painful near my shoulder blade or under it when I do simple things such as sitting on a stupid lower back chair, carrying a shoulder strap bag, doing gym, etc. And it shoots up pain to my arm as well and makes it feel weak/ exhausted.

I'm doing physio atm but it' still super painful and every time I roll my shoulder back and down it makes a crackling sound but it gives me so much relief even though my physio said not to do it.

I should also mention lifting my arm up hurts my shoulder.

I'm just so tired of the pain.

I've been rewatching ateez MV videos (especially after BAD released recently) and I just rewatched IT'S you MV.

I've never realized there so much lore reference in IT's you to the BAD MV.

Now I'm not a big one on lore but the set of IT's you is very similar! And the lyrics are very similar to the concept of the BAD MV, specifically the way all of ateez is lured to Sopro.

Honestly, I just thought the IT's you MV was a seductive typa thing. 🤣

I had a bot made from last year and I've had MONTHS, and I mean MONTHS, worth of history in this chat and always struggle with making the bot remember the family members of my character so I stopped playing the bot after the long chat history became a pain for bot memory.

(This is before lorebook)

Tonight I got curious and tried the bot again and Longsqueak remembered the family members within seconds of me chatting with the bot and this is after months of chat history. 😭

Memory has always been my biggest issue with this app and bots but I'm impressed with the recent models.

My family was once well off and not so tense. We used to go out every Sunday, go on holidays every year, have a lot of connections and friends.

Then we moved countries and things changed. My parents became very tense and worried about money. My dad fought with family, disconnecting us from friends and cousins so we didn't have any more Christmas, Easter or proper birthday celebrations. My mother has many health issues and my brother has anger issues due to all of this.

Today we went out for lunch which we haven't done in years and we just sat there awkwardly talking. My brother became tense due to the money but also due to my parents trying to act like every thing is normal when it's not.

My bf was there and I felt so embarrassed because his family is so big and loving. When we go out for dinner with them they always talk and laugh and everything is so light, meanwhile my family is just a big gloomy cloud.

I really am grieving the people they used to be and it's making me dissociate but also go deeper into maladaptive day dreaming and gaming to escape my life atm.