u/Classic_Bowl_1889

Hi

Let's say a very important relationship just ended and it left you shattered. He replaced you the next day itself and told that the new girl is so pretty.

Just shattered my confidence so much.

I want to get it back up, any tips and advice girlies?

Hi

My bestfriend left the country a year back, my work bestie left the job, my 2 male bestfriends secretly liked me a lot despite me telling that I have a bf so now they cut contacts. And finally my bf of 5.5 years broke up with me (we couldn't marry and he replaced me immediately with a girl he had been talking to 2 months before the breakup, it was very heartbreaking)

I have never been a loner, I still do have people. But..no one in my vicinity gets me you know? Like I just, I don't feel understood. I wanna share Little things about my day!!

Most of the men I find just wanna hit on me.

What do I do to have a good social life? What efforts do I put in guys?

Cause I feel like I have retreated to my own world now.

I wanna get out of this.

Girls I need some suggestions. What did y'all do? How to put myself out there to make new friends?

I am rewatching GG, and wow, I just low blair, apart from a few questionable schemes. I love the way she dresses, the way she carries herself, the way she doesn't cry over a guy!! I've just gotten out of a breakup and I went behind the guy cause I was so vulnerable. But blair taught me confidence! To not chase.

What do you think are the key lessons you learned from her?

As Tambrahms, y'all know how strict our parents and get and how badly they try to restrict us. How was the case in your homes?

If you're an Iyer or Iyengar millennial or Gen Z, you already know there is genuinely no corner of the internet made for us.

Not us specifically. The ones who grew up with:

• Poojais on school nights that you couldn't skip no matter what
• Parents who had your entire career mapped out before you hit Class 10
• A grandmother who could tell if you skipped your morning shloka from two rooms away
• The specific exhaustion of being "cultured" at home and completely normal everywhere else

Matrimonial sites have plenty of us — but they're all biodata-brained. Tamil Brahmin Twitter/X exists but it's chaotic. And Reddit has nothing.

So here we are.

This community is for:

Discussing the real pressures of Iyer/Iyengar/Palakkad Brahmin households — the expectations, the rituals, the guilt, the pride, all of it

Talking about our quirks — the poojais, the specific food rules, the kolam, the carnatic music you either love or were traumatised by

Finding people who actually get it without having to explain your entire family structure first

Finding study buddies, project partners, or just someone to complain to about entrance exams with

Finding cool Iyers and Iyengars — not the matrimonial site kind, the actually interesting kind

This is a judgment-free space whether you're deeply religious, a complete atheist, somewhere in between, or just someone who still makes thayir sadam at midnight because it's comfort food.

Drop a comment and introduce yourself — where you're from, where you are now, and one very specific Tam-Brahm thing your household did that you thought was universal until you were like 15.

Why is it so tough to find decent iyer men on dating apps? The ones on matrimonial sites are just not cool enough or too rule-abiding
Is it so tough to find tamil brahmins on dating apps??

Hi. I recently broke up with my First boyfriend. I am facing a heartbreak for the first time. We were together for nearly 6 years and I didn't love other guys for a long duration of 6 years.

Now I do not know when or how do I put myself out there. Frankly it feels like I am holding myself back to protect the remaining memories of my 1st relationship(maybe??)

I do miss the feeling of being someone's no.1, of roasting and loving a partner. I do not like dating apps, there are just too many people there. I do not know how to get out of this zone and I do not wanna be sad anymore.

Hi,

My long term bf and I broke up our relationship (due to religious differences) and while he has moved on and was already talking to someone (his now gf) before we ended, I find it tough to let go. This is due to the betrayal, how can my most trusted and favourite person do this to me? Its the anger or just the disbelief

• Started talking to someone else 2-3 months before breaking up with you
• broke up with me once things were confirmed with her
• Told me she was pretty and he never thought she'd swipe right on him
• Commented on my acne scars by saying "what is this circle circle" while saying "I don't want to make you insecure"
• Told me "she won't have your eyes, your nose, your smile" then moved on instantly
• Asked "can we go back if this (new relationship) doesn't work out"
• Told me he had feelings for me in March while committed to her
• When i was heartbroken and venting to him about our breakup and that I never thought he would do this, he adviced me that I should find someone to tell my day-to-day to, in my mind I was like That was you for me! I told you my day to day

Its not getting over the feelings that I need help with. Its the betrayal, its the rude treatment from someone who was Very sweet to me.
Sometimes i just feel that won't karma ever get back to him?