u/CoastObjective1476

While I am busy trying to level up my inner Jonasi, someone’s child is busy tempting me like no man’s business
Good conversations, romance, all of it
This is a well-adjusted human being , the sweetest person, responsible, caring, a keeper. The whole package.
They probably want a partner and a family, an Entebbe home and a mansion in the village.
I don’t even believe in marriage, but they don’t know that yet

I don’t know how to tell this lovely person that they have landed on a walking mental case, a muyaayu.
But while the areas are still grey, I’ll continue to enjoy their company.
I hope my Jonasi spirit can stay strong because I’m starting to dream of fairy tale nonsense.
Keep me in your prayers guys

As I ease into my newfound evil mindset, one thing stands out to me
Most of the things we do are not necessarily evil, they are simply self-serving
You do something that works for you, and maybe or maybe not, it ends up affecting someone else
People are typically just doing their thing, protecting their interests, and the impact on others is what makes them seem like the most evil people possible

Y’all people pleasers think you are just being ‘nice people’ when you condemn yourselves for engaging in activity that prioritizes you over others for once (“Let me have this one thing” and feeling like a saint or a martyr when you are called out for it)
What you really have is a control issue
You want to control how people see you and how they feel about you, what they think of you

The evil within me is appeased and strengthened when someone calls me a wicked person, because I know I’m simply doing what’s best for me
And my actions don’t even hurt people
Only the wallets of those who deserve it
I’m just a nice person too

I get hungover way too easily for my liking guys
Even after a few drinks I just feel like trash the next day yet I love alcohol
How can I stop it from happening and become more gumite because sometimes I want to drink through the night
Oba do people be pushing through the pain? Idk
Any remedies easy to get in Uganda?

What’s with Kampala club DJs and playing the exact same mix everywhere, every night?
I don’t even party that often but it’s always the same damn playlist
It doesn’t matter the place, the day of the week, or the DJ
They all play the exact same songs in the same order
I can literally sing that jazz word for word

And people seem to like it? Even people who party day in day out
I wonder if anyone is as fatigued as I am with the music.
What is the secret to tolerating that rubbish? And don’t tell me it’s alcohol because I’ve been drunk AF listening to the same damn songs and there was literally no magic
I haven’t heard an original mix since 2020 when they all started remixing the same one

Surely there is so much more than that one tired mixtape. I land on good music every single day, and not all of it is even new.
Can someone recommend some places to listen to music that isn’t echoing around Kampala bars? Anything more niche that can still titillate Ugandan ears?
Thanks

Honestly the Polygamist didn’t have me feeling any type of way because I’ve literally been raised by a Jonasi

However…
I think I have finally picked up his wickedness
I knew I had it in me
I’m going to use it mercilessly
I am Jonasi now

Disclaimer: I love my parents. In whatever capacity I can. I’m grateful they are alive and can still fend for the whole family.

My mom told me that growing up in the 60s/70s in Amin’s/Obote’s times, she once went to school and came back to find her home gone. Her family was running from an invasion by soldiers/rebels and she had to hike from one district to another looking for them at like 12 years old.

I understand that foundational trauma probably played a major role, but how is it that decades later, even after building a middle class income and lifestyle, my boomer parents seem to have a general negativity bias towards life?

They raised a large family of kids (7) in a household filled with emotional volatility, negligence and violence, and even in their older age they seem to be convinced that life is out to get them and “their kids” (in their minds, we are nothing but an extension of them).
Their relationship was extremely toxic to us as kids and now they have less energy to cause chaos but they still devote time to fixating on how hard life is and strengthening the victim complex.
“Life is hard”
“Sibyangu”
“You have to be careful with people”

There is an air of misery that lingers around my mom for some reason, or maybe it’s residual trauma from growing up with her constantly criticizing me and berating me with non-issues.
I have a few theories for why she seems to have so much disdain for me:

1. I remind her of my father (narcissist, philanderer, she hated him but stayed. Typical Joyce)
2. She wanted me to be a son so maybe my father “wouldn’t” have gone out looking for sons from other women
3. I look very similar to my dead sibling who was her golden child, while I’m living uselessly in her house licking my wounds and taking up space

I used to hate her as a child all the way into my 20s and we finally accepted that we will never really see eye to eye, so we try to keep it civil. But that miserable aura lingers.

Because of how we grew up, we ended up being sheltered miserable children, and not stable at all.
I’ve been in a frequency of misery for as long as I can remember, and I just started to really see the world clearly recently after decentering my parents. I wouldn’t plan on staying in a miserable state of mind till my 60s so I wonder what goes on in their minds to be so mentally incapacitated that they totally neglect themselves like that.

Their household is basically crumbling as it hasn’t been renovated or maintained in years, and we the kids who would do that for them are still fighting for our lives to remove subconscious blocks around money that were instilled in us from a young age.
“Waitressing is a gateway to prostitution” I’ll never forget those words from them when we were trying to go get jobs and make money in vac.
“Don’t go abroad, who will take care of you” when we wanted to apply for scholarships.

Meanwhile they have no problem abandoning their children if we don’t fit into the mold of what they expect us to be, and blaming their behavior on us too.

We’ve had various crises caused primarily by the trauma inflicted on us as children/young adults, and we’ve been doing lots of unlearning individually and collectively.
We were forced to study our parents’ behaviors so we could navigate their emotional outbursts which is why I know how to deal with a Jonasi to a T.
All we ever wanted financial independence for was to escape the household which we did one at a time.

Maybe foundational trauma does play a role, but I feel like it gets to a point where the misery is really now on you. They didn’t necessarily have the tools to know or address whatever trauma they got on their minds, but neither did we and we are still making an effort to create happiness in our lives. So…

Surely not all boomer parents are like this? Are there any happy boomer parents around somewhere?

I keep finding cute boys everywhere for some reason
Big, beautiful tall boys
They be lying to me nga I’m just smiling
Men are so damn attractive

I love how diverse Ugandan handsomeness is

Hey my loveses

Where can I find suppliers for lubugo in Uganda? Like what is the exact place?
I’ve been to Kabuusu already but I want to go to the place where they grow it and pound it.

Is there any way I can reprogram my mind to redirect the desire to pull to something else, or reframe my identity from a trichotillomaniac?

I pull it all. From my face, eyebrows, lashes, hair, anything that grows out of my skin.

I grew up in a very volatile household, so I recently learned that I started pulling my hair as a child, as a way to regulate.
When my anxiety is high, my hair is gone.
I’ve had a rough two years, lost everything I had and moved back to my childhood home, the place that broke me.
You won’t believe this but I’ve done a lot of healing from here!
However, now I have patches of short hair trying to grow back out of my head from when I pulled them out. AND I’M STILL PULLING THEM.
I always pull in the same places hence the patches.

If it wasn’t so harmful I could probably sit for hours just pulling hair to get the chewy follicle bits, and the little ones that have hardened, and the dark ink that comes out of the roots.
I hate the habit, but it brings a sense of completion and control, I guess.
Trying hard to stop being compulsive with it.

I believe in subconscious programming, I do it all the time for myself to get over fears, trauma etc (I raised myself)
I used to bite my nails compulsively as a child, until I decided it wasn’t for me anymore.
I used to wet the bed accidentally too, almost every day till my teenage years, until I decided to stop one day.
And it worked, for both habits.

However this compulsive habit seems to be getting the better of me.
Any good advice, unhinged, practical, scientific, spiritual, I’ll take it.
I have a luscious head of hair and I’m afraid to lose it to alopecia just because.
I tend to fixate on other things too, especially when I want to finish a project or get a task out of the way.

I seem to have forgotten how to decide when it comes to trichotillomania.
Do I need medication or something? Somebody help me please.

I am looking for real answers from people in different subs and I don’t want them to have to click twice just to see my question.
Can I copy and paste the post instead?

Business education in Uganda is sh*t and business education in art school is even sh*ttier.
Believe me, we had it. And it was useless.

You know why people step all over creatives here? Because they assume we are ignorant. Artists are not paid right, if at all. Half of us are on Nasser and the other half are on Instagram trying to promote half-finished projects flavored with some healthy imposter syndrome.

Galleries make artists f*ck-all with their half-baked presentations, and institutions are rife with rivalries and gamba nogu.

So like a fool let me ask, do we have art managers in Uganda or is it every man for himself. And more importantly before I put my big head in things that don’t concern me, do artists need managers oba we continue our hustle the way we want?

Someone to get their work in front of the right eyes, negotiate contracts and come up with real strategies for wealth generation. Independent of an institution.

I might become an art manager/create a platform at some point in my life.

Somebody set me right with what’s happening in the art industry.

What are some things you wish you knew earlier about making money, growing and managing wealth?

Financial education and business education are sh*t in this country. I don’t know whether it was intentional or not, but me as me I’ve ended up only learning the dos and don’ts by getting burned.

Like… who knew saving was this easy? No one ever told me how to do it. I had to lose it all first to understand.
I’m tired of getting burned, guys.
I plan on handling and making large amounts of money in my lifetime, so I need to be prepared.
There are some lessons I shouldn’t have to first face to grasp.

What are some things you wish you knew earlier about making money, growing and managing wealth?

Tell me anything you think Ugandans must know, from the most “obvious” to the most niche concepts or lessons you have learnt. This knowledge might save someone (me, for example).

A few years back I burnt myself out “workaholicing” through my projects. One Friday I woke up from a 2-hour nap to go attend a 7am conference I had been preparing PowerPoint slides for all night, and half my eyebrow was gone. I had plucked it to oblivion.

I swore to never compromise my health for work again.

Recently, unemployed and lowkey broke, still in the starting stages of my business, I’m taking it even further. I’m taking Wednesdays off. That’s my mid-week weekend.

It just makes sense. There is no need to plow through five whole days of nonsense, sometimes six and have only one or two days to reset. Especially not when my business needs me sane and alert.

I’m not in any industry that requires urgency. Nothing is that urgent. Today was blissful.

My employees will live the same way.

Any other platforms I should be looking out for?

I honestly did not expect that Ugandan Reddit would be so chill and easy, ready to help/discuss, engaging freely… given our track record on Twitter, TikTok comments and Instagram.

I could easily delete everything else and stay with Reddit.

Meanwhile my account is 5 years old but I never got into it till yesterday and suddenly clarity is clariting.

Ugandans on Reddit, you guys rock!!

If you struggled with to many business ideas and landed on your final one, how did you do it and start to grow your business?

>!SUMMARY:!<

>!So far I’ve zeroed down to the following:!<

>!1. Brand merchandising (creating unique handmade/printed branded items for businesses that are intentional about their brand messaging/marketing)!<
>!2. A boutique workshop experience where people can buy/thrift clothes, have them tailored in-house to their perfect fit, fix their own clothes, duplicate designs, alter/customize, swap, and even donate clothes. Sort of like a mini Kiyembe!<

I’ve learnt so much about business development, operations, went to business school (pointless), you name it, and I’m still broke, unemployed, trying to build a brand, at the same time needing constant daily money.

Most of my time goes into experimenting and working out the perfect business/side hustle idea for me but I’m tired of starting over and over. I’ve been ideating and prototyping for over a year and I need to get a move on now and start making real sales, talking to real customers and growing my finances for real. I’m an adult, dammit!!

I would not thrive doing a 9-5/fulltime job, though I would be open to part-time work to grow capital.
Just trying to find my slice of the pie in this country.
So far I’ve zeroed down to the following:

1. Brand merchandising (creating unique handmade/printed branded items for businesses that are intentional about their brand messaging/marketing)
2. A boutique workshop experience where people can buy/thrift clothes, have them tailored in-house to their perfect fit, fix their own clothes, duplicate designs, alter/customize, swap, and even donate clothes. Sort of like a mini Kiyembe

hangout type situation

These are the sort of visions I’m having and though capital is minimal right now, this is where I would be headed once I choose either path. I can’t choose both due to constrains of time and cognitive load.

Other great ideas have come up from friends who want to partner, but I don’t plan on committing to them as I know better than to collaborate on a project when we both desperately depend on its positive outcome.

I am aware that business is always relatively slow at the start, and I don’t plan on giving up once I decide to commit to either of these paths, despite facing frequent shiny object syndrome.

All advice/insights are highly welcome, and more so if you have worked/are working in any of these spaces.

I know Ugandans love simple things so if I’m overthinking it, let me know❤️

For context, I’m a creative in Uganda.

Guys, let’s be honest. If you grew up in an African household/community, you know a Jonasi. If you have never seen any situation with a Jonasi in your whole life, you are probably Jonasi and Jonasi is you.