u/CodeSea522

Hello everyone,

I'm an 18-year-old student in my final year of school, and my dream is to build a life in the peaceful countryside of a developed country. To achieve that, I feel that leaving my home country is the best opportunity available to me right now.

I have the option of going abroad for college, but my parents are hesitant. Their concerns are understandable. They're worried about how I would manage living on my own, and our family is not in a strong financial position.

I would likely need an education loan, and I would also have to cover my living expenses while studying. My current plan is to apply to countries like Germany, where public universities offer very low-cost or free tuition, or to seek universities that provide substantial financial aid.

What worries me is that if I don't take this chance now, I may end up staying here permanently. Personally, I struggle to connect with the society and lifestyle around me, and I often feel that this environment is not where I want to build my future.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle the financial and family-related challenges of moving abroad?

I'm a very shy teenager and I overthink social situations a lot.

Yesterday, my grandfather's cousin passed away, and today I visited their house with my family. While I was there, I met the daughter of my grandfather's cousin.

In my culture, different relatives have different titles. The sister of your uncle is called "Bhua" (or a similar term depending on the region), while your uncle's wife is called "Chachi."

By mistake, I repeatedly called her 'Chachi' instead of the correct title. At the time, I didn't even realize what I had said. Nobody corrected me, and the conversation continued normally.

However, when I got home, I suddenly realized my mistake and felt extremely embarrassed. Her mother was also there, and now my mind keeps telling me that everyone noticed, everyone thinks I'm stupid, and that they will tell other relatives about it.

The situation feels even worse to me because the family is currently grieving, so I don't feel it would be appropriate to contact them just to apologize now. Her father died yesterday, and this is not a normal event; this is a very significant matter in our culture.

Logically, I know this probably isn't a big deal, but emotionally I can't stop thinking about it. I keep replaying the moment in my head and feeling ashamed.

How do you stop feeling embarrassed about something that was clearly an accident? The biggest problem is that almost 100 relatives and family members were present, listening to me, and this is a very big deal for me.

I grew up in a family where peace never truly existed. From the outside, everything may look normal, but inside the house there has always been tension, anger, and emotional distance between everyone. My father is an alcoholic, and after drinking he can become violent and aggressive. The story of my grandfather was also similar in the past. He used to dominate the family and even abused his wife and children. Now he is old, so the power he once had seems to have shifted to my father. Sometimes my father even fights with or beats his own father. The cycle of anger and violence has continued from one generation to another.

My mother suffered a lot in the past as well. Although things are not as physically dangerous for women now as they once were, the emotional damage still exists. Everyone in the family lives together, but not because they truly love or understand each other. It feels more like they stay together because they have no other option. There are constant disagreements, different ideologies, and hidden resentment between people. Nobody really listens to anyone else.

In the middle of all this chaos is me. I am 17 years old, and I feel like I have been emotionally suffering since childhood. I spent many years crying, overthinking, and trying to understand why my family could never be peaceful. Even though everyone in the family seems to love me and believes I will one day lead the family toward prosperity, I feel exhausted inside. Being treated as the “hope” of the family puts pressure on me, especially when I am already struggling mentally and emotionally myself.

I care deeply for my mother because I have seen her pain closely. At the same time, I also understand that every person in my family has their own wounds and frustrations. It often feels like everyone is a different political party with completely different ideologies, while I stand in the center trying to keep balance. But no matter how much I try, nobody truly listens to me. That helplessness makes me angry and tired.

Sometimes I feel like running away and leaving everything behind once I turn 18. I dream about leaving this country, building my own peaceful life, and finally living in an environment without constant conflict. I do not hate my family completely, because I know they love me in their own imperfect ways. But love alone has never been enough to create peace in our home.

Despite everything, I have somehow raised myself to become stronger and more self-aware. I learned how to survive emotionally in an unhealthy environment. Now the biggest question in my life is not whether I should save everyone else, but whether I can save myself and create a better future for my own life.

So basically I'm 17m and due to some reasons, I have escaped from my house and I don't any sympathy or something. I just want to know is there is any ways I can earn money atleast to survive and for now, I have few hundred dollars and that's it.