u/Comfortable_Doctor36

I applied for the CDPH volunteer internship program a few months ago. Most of the other internships I applied to I have heard back from but not this one (mostly "no"s). I'm trying to figure out if I should get a job or just wait to hear back. I'd prefer this internship (20hrs/week) over a job, but would also prefer to have something lined up sooner than later. The applications are conducted entirely through email, I was told that I advanced to the second round but nothing after that. I am trying to plan out my summer, but this internship would change it quite a bit, so if anyone has experience with the California Department of Public Health's internship programs please let me know!

Hi guys wondering if this is normal or something I should bring up to my psychiatrist. Also wondering what could be next for me in this crazy cycle if anyone has thoughts haha. Is it possible that the cycling was caused by meds or just life (I'm in college and have finals this week and have been really stressed about that, also was using weed more frequently than usual as a form of self medicating)? Thanks for any advice!

Summary of what I've been experiencing:

• mid March-mid April: severely depressed, mid April contacted psych and upped lamictal
• mid April-early May: (~2 weeks) felt mixed depressed and normal, but more depressed than normal, after 2 weeks met w/ psych and upped lamictal again
• Early may-now: (~5/6 days) hypomania, usually experience hypo as a positive 'on top of the world' type feeling, this time was much more irritability and anxiety, but def still hypo
• now-??: should I expect this cycle to keep cycling at this speed or will I (hopefully) mellow out moodwise? What has you experience been?

Something I didn’t even notice I was suppressing till I was roommates with my friend (who has adhd and openly stims) in college is how much I stim when I'm comfortable and not hyper aware of myself. Like I watch what I'm doing so carefully at home so I seem like I'm fine that its like I'm always "on" or masking. But at school I've become so comfortable and carefree that I guess I've just let it happen and tbh I feel so much calmer. Like I'll still notice it and catch myself sometimes, but usually I just let it happen and say ‘its ok, this is ok’ instead of ‘stop. don't do that. you’re being too obvious’ yknow. idk what to do once I go back home though. I've gotten so used to stimming noticeably and it not being commented on that even when I notice I don't do anything to stop it, but I know that as soon as I'm home it'll be commented on and picked apart. I worried what'll happen if I'm not aware of what my bodies doing and it becomes obvious.

Curious, does hypersexuality also occur with people who have very low/no libido or sex drive? I am asexual, with basically no libido or desire for sex or thoughts of sex, and haven't experience hypersexuality (I have bipolar 2, F19). At the same time, I'm sure not everyones experiences are the same as mine, so I'm wondering, do those with low libidos also experience hypersexuality? If so how does that affect you and how you view your sexuality/sexual experiences? Does it bring about feelings of uncertainty or guilt or is it more of a positive experience? Is hypersexuality and engaging in risky sexual behaviors something that occurs less with those who have little to no sex drive?

Curious, does hypersexuality also occur with people who have very low/no libido or sex drive? I am asexual, with basically no libido or desire for sex or thoughts of sex, and haven't experience hypersexuality (I have bipolar 2, F19). At the same time, I'm sure not everyones experiences are the same as mine, so I'm wondering, do those with low libidos also experience hypersexuality? If so how does that affect you and how you view you sexuality/sexual experiences? Does it being about feeling of uncertainty or is it more of a positive experience? Is hypersexuality and engaging in risky sexual behaviors something that occurs less with those who have little to no sex drive?

also posted this question in r/bipolar2

Is it worse to be on an ssri with bipolar 2?

I am currently on 7.5mg lexapro and 100mg lamictal daily. When I went up to 10mg lexapro (at that time I was only on lexapro, pre diagnosis) I ended up experiencing rapid mood cycling and very noticeable hypomania which resulted in me lowering the lexapro back down. This also happened when I started the lexapro, but I didn't even know of bipolar and just thought I was feeling much (much) better with the new med. I also have ocd and anxiety, which the 7.5mg lexapro does a really great job of managing. However, I'm wondering, does being on an SSRI do more harm than good for those with bipolar disorder? I am in college and experience 1-2 depressive episodes a semester (so around 5 a year) which can severely debilitate me for months/weeks at a time. The only way I'm able to get out of these episodes is by increasing my lamictal (I've only been on it 7 months hence the lower dosage). Is this what I'll have to do my entire life? What have your experiences with this been like?

I want to educate myself more on BP2. I was diagnosed this past year and I feel like I only have a very basic understanding of this disorder. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the videos and books online, so I was wondering what you all recommended. Are there specific videos you felt explained a lot for you? Any readings you'd recommend?

Also, how do you describe BP2 to other people? I tend to say it is classified by more depression and hypomania which is like mania but less so, but I feel like I'm not always super clear and I struggle to answer friends and families questions. Thanks for any help!

I saw something online that bipolar depression can be different than regular (unipolar) depression and I feel like that is true but want to know what you guys think.

When I'm depressed it is so all encompassing and overwhelming. I feel constantly exhausted and like there is no point to anything, at times feeling suicidal and like I need to quit whatever I'm doing (school, work, life, etc.). I sleep like crazy and isolate from everyone. I also get more anxious and overwhelmed more easily. Overall, it feels heavier than regular depression if that makes sense, like I just don't have the will to do anything or even think anything.

Let me know if this has been your experience or if you agree/disagree with the statement

I'm newly diagnosed (this past year) and keep seeing people talk about how beneficial having a good sleep schedule is. I have always struggled with falling asleep and have sleep anxiety. I never fall asleep before 1 or 2 am, usually around 2 or 3, although it sometimes takes me until 4-6am (any later and I just end up pulling an all nighter). I've been this way since at least middle school. I'm in college, so I'm able to sleep in until at least 9 or 10am every day, but I'd do this even when I'd have to wake up at 7am. I have prescription sleep meds, but hate taking them because I'm scared I won't wake up. Also idk if this is helpful context, but I rapid cycle, typically 1-2 times a semester (4 or 5 cycles/year).

Is it possible to manage this disorder with bad sleep habits? Does sleep ACTUALLY affect bipolar 2 individuals that strongly? How do you make sure you sleep well? Do you track how much sleep you get?

I've been really depressed for the last almost 2 months. A week ago I increased my lamictal (from 50mg to 100mg, also on 7.5mg of lexapro but that didn't get changed) and since then I've felt my mood getting much better. Today I've felt so great and it made me start to wonder/worry if I may be getting hypomanic or if this is just the meds kicking in. When I adjusted my lamictal previously from 25 to 50 I also experienced this but it happened within a day or two rather than a week, and also kinda freaked me out since I went from extremely depressed to happy so quickly.

Does this happen to other people? If so, how do you deal with it? How do you make sure its not hypomania?