u/Competitive_Claim843

Buna!! E normal ca dupa o perioda de 5 ani aproape 6 de depresie continua anxietate si ganduri sinucigase , sa devin cea mai narcisista persoana de pe planeta asta si cea mai extrovertita si cea mai calma . De cateva luni sunt asa si pur simplu ma ador? 😭dar cu un an in urma plangeam cand imi vedeam reflexia si acum ma uit cu orele la poze cu mine ,sau ma aranjez mereu si asa .Si cu emotiile mai mult ma simt asa calma, numb la orice mi se intampla bun sau extrem de rau. (Asta o sa sune oribil) Adica si cand am intrat la facultate,sau cand ii s a intamplat ceva rau cuiva apropiat din familie parca nu mi pasa efectiv, sunt numb complet, cea ce mi se pare calumea sincer,adica cativa ani de zile am fost numai trista si acum sunt asa , e un upgrade zic eu. Dar e normal sa se intample asta?
Mai e un lucru de mentionat, aveam si atacuri de panica mereu , ma refer si cand ma duceam la magazin si ii ziceam buna la vanzatoare tremuram. Chestiile astea s au oprit dintr o data toate.
Poate pot sa mentionez ca nici cand interactionez cu alta lume nu simt nimic, adica am zis ca sunt extrovertita pentru ca CHIAR pot sa vorbesc cu oricine acum .

Buna! Intrebarea mea este simpla, am timp sa ma pregatesc pentru academia de politie pana anul viitor? Stiu ca totul depinde de mine sau de stilul de invatare sau cat am capacitate . Dar nu stiu daca realist e putin un an ca sa invat materia la istorie.
Cei drept nici nu m am documentat prea mult despre academie,pana acum voiam la o academie militara (unde se da admiterea la mate, info , fizica materii la care am un nivel decent as putea zice )
Dar parca imi starneste academia de politie interesul.
Mentionez si ca eu am terminat cu bacul (am fost la mate info) , si capacitate de invatare am DAR nu stiu daca am la materii umane , eu inteleam foarte bine la materiile reale, le luam logic.
Am mai postat ceva asemanator acum ceva timp dar am primit numai comentarii de genul “ fugi de militarie/politie” si niciun sfat/experienta personala.

To begin with, I want to say that I’m only telling this story to get it off my chest. I don’t really have anyone to talk to, and since Reddit is anonymous, I feel comfortable sharing details that I’ve never told anyone before. And I am from Romania , the grade thing is bacalaureat , the 12 grade finals, and I wrote Lei instead of Dollars because thats what I know, sorry.
I (18F) have always felt somewhat marginalized by my parents. Don’t get me wrong, they have never hit me, and I’ve never really argued with my dad. I occasionally argue with my mom, but that’s about it. They’re simple, hardworking people. And honestly, that’s what makes this whole thing even worse.
I have an older sister (26F) who, during her teenage years—actually, throughout the entire period before she moved out at around 19—did every possible fucked-up thing imaginable: she smoked, did drugs, ran away from home for weeks at a time, stole money, gold and jewelry from our house, and later started stealing from neighbors too. All of this happened between the ages of 15 and 18. And somehow, they always helped her, they always talked to her, they always talked about her. (That’s the context about my sister.)
As for me, I was a very quiet child. I didn’t really go out before I was 17 because they wouldn’t let me. I knew I could leave the house and there wasn’t much they could do about it, but I was simply TOO LAZY to argue. From around the age of 10 until now, I’ve basically just stayed in bed. I also had severe depression between the ages of 12 and 17, and I would just stay in bed, cry, go to high school, come home and cry. I don’t think my parents ever saw me crying. So, in their eyes, I was just a quiet, depressed child.
They also didn’t really spend much time with me. Until I was 12, both of my parents were working, my sister was God knows where, and I got used to being alone and not talking much. I think this whole thing with me barely talking made them distance themselves from me, even though they don’t show it—I can tell.
Now, obviously, I’m 18 and I graduated high school. But back in December, when I talked to my parents about university, I told them I didn’t think I would get a grade above 8, so I probably wouldn’t get into a tuition-free place anywhere. I hadn’t done my research and didn’t know there were places where you could get in with lower grades. They told me that was all they could help me with and that once I left home, they wouldn’t even have money to give me for food. I believed them.
So I decided to stay home for a year, work, and now, a week ago, I started a shitty job with a miserable salary. On top of that, I’m paying for private tutoring in math, physics and computer science because I want to get into a university through an entrance exam.
Eventually, I got an 8-something on the Baccalaureate, but I still stayed home for a year because I genuinely believed I would basically starve at university.
When my Baccalaureate results came out, some relatives asked my parents what university I was going to. They told them I had already gotten into one and that I was leaving, and they told me they were embarrassed to admit that I wasn’t going to university this year and that I should tell everyone that I was going.
Then, after the application deadlines had already closed, they suddenly reproached me and asked why I hadn’t gone, saying they could have somehow come up with 5,000 lei ( thats the average money for university)for me. I told them that we had already had this conversation and that they had told me they couldn’t help me. They denied it.
I asked them for some money recently because it’s difficult for me to pay for my tutoring until I get my salary. I literally exchanged coins and returned bottles just so I could afford it. They said they didn’t have any money.
Yesterday, my sister came to me and said she needed money. My parents gave her 1,800 lei and planned together not to tell me, and to tell me they had only given her 200 lei, so that I wouldn’t get upset that they weren’t giving me any.
Then, a few days ago, my dad bought tractor wheels for 5,600 lei, in cash.
They didn’t even give me money for my prom (prom + photos + dress). I asked my sister for help because at that time she had more money. I can never really be angry at my sister; she has always given me money throughout high school.
But somehow, I feel depressed whenever I go home, and all of these things happened within the past few days and made me cry. And there are so many other little things, as well as bigger ones.
Maybe it’s also relevant to mention that my mom tells me whenever she gets the chance that she doesn’t know what went wrong with me, and that she’s disappointed in me because I smoke.
But in a way, I feel like I started smoking because of them. In ninth grade, they wanted to scare me into being “a good kid” and not turning out like my sister. They lied to me and told me that the police had come looking for me because of drugs and that I was being watched. (It’s ridiculous, but I was really stupid back then.)
That night, I tried to kill myself. I took every pill I could find in the drawer, from antibiotics to heart medication, until I had taken two handfuls of pills. Obviously, I woke up, and I realized that no matter what I did, they would still treat me strangely.
That’s when I eventually started smoking, and later I couldn’t really quit.
I doubt anyone is going to make it to the end of this. I wrote a lot, but I’m crying right now as I’m writing this.

Bunaa! Am 18 ani si abia am terminat liceul . Vreau sa incep prin a spune ca nu sunt o persoana ciudata sau antisociala, n am fost niciodata . Obisnuiam sa am 5 6 grupuri de prieteni si sa iesim zilnic sau sa vorbim zilnic dar am intrat intr o relatie mai toxica si aceasta persoana m a indepartat de toti prietenii mei( ma refer ca nu aveam voie sa ies in grup, mai ales daca erau si baieti dar nici cu fetele nu puteam) ,nu puteam sa vorbesc cu prietenele mele ca mi controla telefonul si mi analiza toate mesajele si le facea sa para cringe , infn. M am despartit de acesta si acum pur si simplu ma simt singura, n am cu cine sa vorbesc sau sa ies. Sunt angajata actual dar colegele mele sunt in varsta si n am ce sa vorbesc. Anul viitor aplic la facultatea dorita dar vreau sa ies si sa socializez si anul asta si nu stiu ce sa fac 😔Nici nu mi suna bine idea sa dau mesaje cu buna in stanga si in dreapta din frica sa nu par disperata . In orasul meu n am voluntariat sau vreo activitate cine stie ca sa ma bag sa cunosc lume, la sala mai vorbesc ocazional dar cam atat.

I broke up with my ex two and a half years ago, and I can honestly say he was my first love. I was completely obsessed with him. I loved him so much, I was incredibly attracted to him, and that period of my life felt so beautiful. We were together for six months. He broke up with me, and then he got together with one of my friends. They started dating just a few days after we stopped talking, so I’m pretty sure he cheated on me—maybe not physically, but at least emotionally.
I suffered terribly. I cried until I couldn’t anymore, I felt completely empty inside, I barely ate. I can’t even describe how awful it was.
Two months later, I got together with my current boyfriend, whom I’ve now been with for two years. I have to admit that, at first, I got into the relationship as a way to cope with the breakup. I was still crying all the time. It took me about six months to truly fall in love with him, and around three months before I started feeling physically attracted to him.
Anyway, I dream about my ex almost every day. Sometimes he’s just in the background, sometimes we get back together in the dream, and there are all kinds of other scenarios.
When will this ever stop? It’s been two years, and I’m not interested in him anymore. Maybe I’m attached to the version of him from the past, because the person he is now is a complete jerk. I know that because we were in the same class after everything happened.

Bunaaa! Abia am terminat liceul si vreau sa stau un an acasa sa strang niste bani pana sa merg la facultate . Infn si am aplicat la un job de casier la pepco . Saptamana viitoare m au chemat in perioada de proba si stiu ca o sa mi explice ei tot dar sunt asa emotionata mai ales ca lucrez cu banii :((
Am mai lucrat anul trecut ( sezonier) la un magazin alimentar si asezam marfa si stateam si la casa cam o jumatate de zi , dar n am mai scos Z - tul niciodata si casele de acolo erau FOARTE VECHI , dar macar nu mi s a intamplat niciodata sa dau restul gresit sau asa .
Mi e foarte frica , e cineva de aici care este tot casier sa mi dea niste sfaturi ?
Poate pare o postare stupida dar chiar am emotii

Bunaa!! Am o intrebare cam stupida… Planuiesc sa ma duc la psiholog in putin timp ( inca nu l am ales dar caut) . Am niste probleme mai “dubioase” si suspicioase as putea zice . Daca ma deschid in fata unui psiholog si el remarca ca sunt intradevar probleme “suspicioase” si ma trimite la un psihiatru, daca eu refuz e ok? Adica chiar daca refuz sa ma vad cu un psihiatriu ,psihologul inca ma va ajuta si ma va asculta si imi va oferii solutii?

Buna!! Nu stiu daca intreb in locul potrivit , si titlul e doar asa , ma refer la cam toate facultatile mai tehnice.Am terminat clasa a 12a profil mate-info ,stau un an pe bara sa mi strang niste bani. Si planul era ca anul viitor sa aplic la o facultate si normal m am gandit la politehnica/constructii civile si alte optiuni. Am reusit sa iau o nota mare in bac(zic eu) , 9,30 mate , 9,10 informatica dar m am chinuit FOARTE mult pentru aceste note. Din acest motiv nu stiu daca mi se potriveste domeniul de inginer sau altele , ma gandesc ca de acum in colo devine din ce in ce mai greu, si daca m am chinuit asa mult la bac si n am avut vreo “inclinatie” sau nu stiu ce intelect nu o sa rezist . “Discliplina” am, adica imi doresc sa fac ORICE mai bun in viata si sunt dispusa sa muncesc/invat. Ce parere aveti? Ar trebui sa ma reprofilez?

Bunaa!! Anul viitor vreau sa aplic la academia militara din Bucuresti si vreau sa stiu ce parere aveti despre aceasta academie, daca sunteti acolo sau daca aveti prieteni/ familie. Am cautat peste tot si nu pot gasi avantaje si DEZAVANTAJE de acolo. Am cautat pe tiktok, facebook,tpu si aici pe reddit chiar. Nu am pe nimeni cunoscut de acolo deci nu pot sa mi fac o parere neaparata. Din cate am auzit nu prea ai voie sa vorbesti “prost” de academiile militare dar din momentul in care o sa fiu 12 ani “legata” de ei ( 4 ani academia,8 munca obligatorie) ar trebui sa stiu cate ceva.
Adica la orice facultate gasesc minim un videoclip pe tiktok cu “GRWM in timp ce va povestesc despre….)
Infn mai mult as vrea sa aud dezavantaje/experiente proaste despre materii/colegi/profesori absolut orice ar ajuta.
Chiar vreau sa ma pregatesc serios desi la matematica si informatica pot zice ca sunt buna dar la fizica mai meh ,dar o sa ma apuc de meditatii si acolo.

Hello! I hope I’m posting this in the right place. English isn’t my first language, so please excuse any mistakes. I’d also like to mention that I’m 19 years old.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. At the beginning of our relationship, and even before that, I had a very high sex drive and really enjoyed sex. I should also mention that no guy has ever been able to make me orgasm, although I do enjoy masturbating on my own.
For about a year and a half now, I’ve simply hated having sex with my boyfriend. It feels more like a chore than something I want to do, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get in the mood with him. He doesn’t really try to help me get in the mood either. He just asks, “Do you want to have sex?” and that’s about it. He also makes this really cringe “mhhh” sound, and it’s not sexy at all.
I’ve been wondering if it’s because he’s pressured me so much over time that I’ve started dreading it whenever he asks. A few times, I’ve even started crying during sex because it just hurt (it always hurts). He constantly pressures me. If I say “no,” he’ll keep begging me for about half an hour until I finally give in and say okay.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want us to break up because we get along well otherwise, but whenever he pressures me for so long and we end up having sex, I feel dirty and used afterward. It was supposed to be something enjoyable for both of us, but it just isn’t.
I’ve even tried roleplaying (I wore costumes and things like that). I tried talking to him about all of this, and he told me that since I’m his girlfriend, it’s my duty. He also said that if we stopped having sex, he would break up with me.
The thing is, on a normal day I actually have a pretty high sex drive—when I’m by myself or in any situation that doesn’t involve him.
Please don’t think I’m a bad person for talking about my boyfriend like this. I haven’t told anyone about this before, and somehow it feels easier to open up to strangers from other countries.
How can I fix this?

Bunaa!! Vreau sa stiu si parerea voastra:
Pana acum imi doream sa dau o academie militara , fortelor terestre sau tehnica(unde dau admitere la matematica informatica si fizica , sport,psihologic,medical) . Sunt destul de buna la matematica si informatica , la fizica mai meh .
Problema este ca as vrea sa dau la academia de politie :(( (unde dau admitere la istorie ,gramatica limbii romane si engleza din cate am inteles)
Mi se pare o schimbare uriasa de materii stiu dar as vrea sa stiu daca am timp intr un an sa invat materia la istorie mai ales. Ce parere aveti? Si daca ma apuc de pregatiri aveti vreun sfat? In legatura cu materia sau proba sportiva si asa

Bunaa! Am si eu o curiozitate.Pentru a participa la concursul de admitere in regulament spune ca trebuie ai media la purtare minim 9. Minim 9 pe un an sau se face media pe toti anii de liceu?
Sper ca intelegeti ce vreau sa spun :)))

Putin context inainte : Dau bacul luni dar stau un an acasa dupa ( ma angajez , imi strang bani)
Si anul viitor vreau sa ma inscriu la o academie ( dau admitere mate,info,fizica)
La matematica si la romana pot sa zic ca ma descurc , ma astept cam la 8,50, dar problema este bacul la informatica. Am ales informatica pentru ca am crezut ca e mai bine sa invat si pentru admitere si pentru bac la aceasi materie.
Am ales prost,nu s a lipit nimic de mine, n am mai facut meditatii din februarie pentru ca domnul meu de pregatire era cam neserios,si la clasa nu am avut profesor real desi am fost profil mate-info . Acum sper la un 6 la informatica cea ce imi va strica toata media si ma simt demoralizata complet. Aud prin parti ( rude , colegi) ca “ Doamne cum sa iei 6, cum crezi ca o sa intri la academie??” si ma simt foarte prost

Helloo! Vreau sa aplic anul viitor la o academie militara,inca sunt indecisa intre academia tehnica din Bucuresti sau academia fortelor terestre ( simt ca mi s ar potrivi mai mult cea din Bucuresti dar la Sibiu cunosc 2 3 persoane care studiaza acolo si mi au dat sfaturi/review uri)
Ca sa înțelegeți eu sunt a 12a acum dar raman un an acasa din motive diverse , mai mult financiare ( n as putea sa ma sustin intr o facultate normala financiar asa ca strang bani timp de anul viitor ,părinții mei nu ma ajuta) deci anul viitor o sa ma ocup strict cu admiterea/proba sportiva.
Insa mi e destul de frica de proba psihologica , nu am reusit sa gasesc subiecte pe net sau persoane sa vorbeasca despre asta , stiu cum arata vag ( probleme de logica si personalitate)
Ar trebui sa ma ocup serios si de proba psihologica , adica sa mi cumpar carti cu teste sau asa?Este cineva de aici care a dat proba psihologica intr un domeniu militar? Cum a fost? Te pica usor? Si despre interviul acela as vrea sa aud cate ceva, de exemplu ce te intreaba sau daca e scurt .
Ps: stiu ca am zis ca am cunostinte de la academie dar mi au dat un raspuns foarte vag.

Helloo , vreau sa stiu si parerea voastra in legatura cu “alegerile mele”. Sunt a 12a si anul viitor vreau sa am un gap year inainte sa ma duc la facultate.Motivele mele sunt diverse , in principal vreau la o academie militara si atunci cand au fost probele eram praf la sport ( mai exact trebuia sa reusesc sa fac 14 flotari iar eu puteam doar 4☠️) . Infn planul este sa lucrez anul viitor/sa fac meditatii si daca nu intru nici atunci la academie , cu banii stransi timp de un an pot sa ma duc la o facultate normala si sa mi platesc taxa sau necesitățile ( parinti mei mi au spus clar ca nici bani de mancare n o sa mi dea). Ma simt judecata prin faptul ca stau acasa de rude/colegi/prieteni si ma simt de parca stau pe loc cand vad ca toata lumea in perioada asta isi baga dosarul sau se pregateste de admitere. Voi ce parere aveti? Este cineva de aici care a mai facut un an de pauza intre liceu si facultate?Cum a fost?