u/Complete-Custard6747

He gets real outta breath down there

I answered a Craigslist ad last week that said ‘Need someone to watch my pathetic boywife while I am out of town’
posted by ‘George’.
I thought, why not, I need the cash. So I went to the address which was an apartment in shithole Paris, and met the person named George who ended up being a they/them butch woman outside the apartment.
She said, ‘my boywife must be tended to. Don’t touch his feet.’ and left. No further explanation so I went inside.
There was a little fella sitting at a Pleyel piano kicking his tiny feet. I said ‘hey man, I think your husband hired me for the night.’
He took a breath and looked over at me and quietly said ‘Bonsoir.’
I have never wanted to throw up more in my entire life than hearing French spoken with a Polish accent. Like a homesick croissant.
He tried to stand up and made a really pathetic face at me. Then he wheezed, stuck out his lower lip, and pointed to the chaise lounge. I guess he wanted me to carry him 12 feet across his living room. I guess it was ok because he weighed like a newborn.
Then he frowned and said ‘tummy :(‘
So I asked him what’s wrong. He said ‘hongy :/‘
I asked what he could eat. He said ‘plain pasta.’
So I made him wet noodles and each forkful he said ‘Merci.’
Like ten minutes passed in complete silence except for tiny pasta sounds.
When he was done he demanded I take his shoes off. I said George said I’m not allowed to touch his feet. He said ‘Touch them, touch them, put my Polish dogs in your mouth and suck suck suck, I love it, I love it’
I ignored him and carried him into his bed, where he kicked his own little shoes off before saying ‘blanky’
I tucked in the Polish man in despite his petulant demands for being little spoon. But I was not going to get in bed with him. He smelled like boogers.
the front door opened and that they/them woman named George came in. She asked how he did and the Polish guy said ‘George I was so brave.’
Anyway I got paid three francs and a loaf of bread.
10/10 Would babysit the Victorian boywife again.

Fred Chopin was a girl that poops

Your impromptu was a fantasy

Top note and base note too

I can’t do this anymore I want a degree. I want a stable career. Has anyone ever seen a phlebotomist in a chair before? What are the chances a hospital or doctors office would hire a phlebotomist with an sci?