r/Incontinence

It seems this question has been asked a bit lately and my apologies to ask it again, but I’m going to ask it in a different angle that I have not read or seen so far.

In essence, I have not been officially diagnosed with OAB but based on what I have continued to read here, it sounds like I track well. That said, I wear protection, pull-ups and tabbed (on occasion) because I never know when my body is going to rebel and tell me … “now”

My angle… for the most part, I can make to the bathroom on time, but there are times that it’s actually painful to hold it. Am I doing myself a disservice by trying to hold it during the tough urges. I continue see enough people write, just go in the pull-up or diaper. I don’t want to make matters worse is where I am going with this query. Being a personal issue, I feel safe asking here what the appropriate path is for less anxiety and more importantly, not cause more of a problem down there.

I just find myself conflicted. We were all toilet trained, but I don’t know if it better not to fight when it’s a true struggle or strain to hold back. Been dealing with for some time now and I still have not found security in having accidents despite buying top quality product.

I hope this makes sense. Thanks in advance for advice and sharing personal experiences.

Just an interesting statement and question. There are many brands of good disposables with high capacity which also don't let you feel overly wet. And, I switched mostly to cloth over the past 18 months and discovered they are really not as bad wet as I had imagined. But something interesting has been happening with me. Despite not generally feeling tremendous discomfort when wet, I have begun not really wanting to stay in a wet diaper. For example, both my disposables and my cloth diapers can easily handle 3 full voids. But despite their capacity, I find myself changing after one void most of the time. It flies in the face of disposables that advertise 12 or 16 hours. I don't really want to wear a full diaper that long anymore. Is there anyone who has had the same or similar experiences? Just curious.

Hello!
I am 16 (m)
and im having a bit of a problem.
( NO IM NOT TELLING MY PARENTS )

a couple of weeks ago i started dribbling,
not after i pee, but randomly, it wssnt alot.
Forward to a week ago and i wet the bed,
didnt think much of it, probably just drank too much

then, i wet my pants that same week...
and finnaly last night i wet the bed....

what do i do?

I‘ve seen this with people immediately trying to come up with alternatives when I tell them about my incontinence, even though I keep telling them I’ve tried everything. I also hear people in my support group talk about how they try and fail over and over to use anything but a nappy to control their incontinence because they’ve been taught that a nappy is embarrassing.

Like, nappies are the best solution, they’re the first option in my mind. No other option has ever worked as well for me, yet I continuously see encouragement to try the more inefficient solutions to save the apparent indignity of needing nappies. I‘ll wear absorbent underwear if it helps, it shouldn’t even be a big deal to anyone.

Hello, been a while since my last post. I’m running low on my current stock which is megamaxes & NRU Str8UP’s + Tykables Tighty Whities (these were gifted by a close friend who’s also incontinent but uses these brands and others I often don’t look at)

The Megamax is my go-to for daily use (involving work, activities like hiking or night dining, and bedtime use) but I’ve been wanting to explore other high absorbency brands I could try. I really enjoy the quality of the NRU’s & Tighty whities. The only problem though, they’re always out of order. My second option I looked at was Incontrol, mainly the hook and loop version.

Before I most likely pull the trigger and try out Incontrol, are there any other high absorbency diapers out in the market that are worth a try?

I am open to any brand.

This is a rant and ill probably delete it later

But its 5am and i cant sleep because of my stupid body and i need to vent

90% of the time i have no feeling at all my bladder is a revolving door, been that way off and on my whole life minus a gap between 18 and 25

But then it came back and it bought the most annoying friend possible false retention signals

Sometimes i just get to enjoy shooting pain because my idiot bladder can make its mind up

I was sleeping fine and now sit here in pain typing this because my body thinks it wants to pee, despite refusing to do so

I genuinely dont know what to do because lately this is getting worse

Like im on the strongest alpha blockers in the highest does and this crap still happens

At this point i think ide let them surgically remove the capacity to hold urine at all if such a surgery existed

Im so tried of being unable to sleep, work, play with my dogs, all because my anatomy decided to make up for 90% of the time by releasing a horrents nest inside my crotch

Tried and angry rant over, thanks for reading

And im open to suggestions as well

PS: idiopathic NGB sucks

Hi everyone, this is my first time on reddit. Im a 35 year old man and ive had urinary incontinence my while life. And anxiety and panic attacks, Other than that im ok. For years and years ive struggled with so much shame and guilt and embarrassment for needing a medical device. I never talk to anyone about these things. ive never even been in a romantic relationship because of my fear of rejection and anxiety. but thats for another thread some time depending on how this goes. I wrote a short story about where the shame began for me, im not sure what im expecting to get from this. Im hoping supportive and encouraging stuff. I cried the entire time writing this, I've repressed so much from childhood. this might not be the right forum for this. I dont know. I just want to share with people who will hopefully understand. Maybe you have a similar story, i often feel like im the only one with this problem. anyway heres the story.

i remember when my parents were trying to potty train me. They were so relaxed about it at first. I don't remember a lot about it. I was probably 3 or so. They were encouraging in the beginning. the little i remember.. but i remember more about when i was 4 and i still wasn't getting it. They weren't mean, or at least they didn't intend to be. I remember my mom saying." If you want to be a big kid you gonna learn how to go in the toilet.” also “They don't let boys in diapers go to school." I remember feeling so determined to use the toilet, I feel like this might be my earliest memory of shame. I don't think she meant it to be as shameful as I felt it. There were a few times where I did happen to pee in the toilet, I don't know if it was just luck. She bought me underwear to wear. not pullups those weren't around yet in 1994 or if they were my parents didn't buy them. She thought wearing real underwear would encourage me to use the toilet and not wet them. But I wet them, every time. I felt disappointment from her. She would say stuff like " why didn't you tell me you had to go?" or " you gotta hold it and go to the toilet" i wanted to do these things but i didnt know how. I would just shake my head yes, and genuinely thought I would learn. My parents didn't know yet I had a neurogenic bladder from a defect in my spinal chord. I looked like a normal healthy kid. As it got closer and closer to me needing to start school I was almost 5 and supposed to start kindergarten soon, mom and dad really were pushing hard to try to get me potty trained, dad even showing me how to pee in the toilet. That's a weird core memory. I don't remember what cartoon i was watching but it had some action hero, I remember my mom sitting down next to me and saying " you know he doesn't wear diapers if you want to be like him you need to use the toilet" Finally one say it clicked for my parents when my mom said to me “ when you feel like you gotta pee you go to the potty” and i replied frustrated “ how do i feel it?" Thats what my mom tells me i said, i actually don't remember that moment. Then finally they took me to some doctors and got the answer. I'm not mad at them, I know they must have felt guilty, after they found out there was a medical cause they were so supportive and encouraging letting me know its ok to wear diapers. They tried really hard to make up for the pressure and the guilt. They didn't have the internet, it wasn't as easy to get info on these things.

after that discovery Mom and Dad practiced with me a lot on how to change my own diaper. The school would allow me to attend, but I had to be able change my diaper myself. I don't honestly know how schools would handle this now but anyway this was 1995 in Southern California. I actually got it down, I could change myself. I practiced for several weeks leading up to school. The first day of kindergarten, I was a very shy kid, I've been an anxious guy forever. I was so afraid to leave moms side and go to kindergarten. I know the teacher was aware of my needs and she showed me the bathroom just next door to the class room where I could change. I remember mom showing me in my back pack exactly what pocket had the diapers in it, and the wipes. The school had a uniform, it was khaki pants and white polo shirt. Khaki pants are probably the least discreet choice for hiding a diaper.

I remember immediately another kid calling me out. Making fun of me, I think he asked me with a loud and judgmental tone “ why are you still wearing diapers!?” it was something like that. I remember the teacher disciplining him. I was so nervous all day.. on the verge of tears all day. For some reason, one girl was compelled to talk to me and she tried to comfort me. She ended up becoming best friend. As the day went on, we were read to by the teacher, ate lunch and played on the play ground. I didn't play, I just sat in the shade of some trees, and talked to the girl who for some reason wanted to comfort me. She and I talked about the movie 101 Dalmatians ,the cartoon one, not the 1996 live action version, she had just seen it and so had i so we hit it off on that. We had nap time, I didn't sleep, just laid there. They fed us apple juice and graham crackers, and we practiced writing letters I think. I don't remember all the details. all throughout the day my diaper getting more and more wet, I dont know if i was just too nervous to notice or if i was afraid to ask where the bathroom was or if i was just too freaked out that i wasn't thinking about it, or just not comfortable enough to change by myself there in this new place. My diaper ended up leaking really badly. The teacher walked me to the nurses office. At that point the day was nearly over and my parents were already on the way to pick me up. I changed in the bathroom of the nurses office, the nurse helped me. She did everything actually, I just cried. So yea that's my pathetic first day of school.

After that, the school allowed my mom to volunteer in the class room, she was pretty much the teacher's helper. She was there every day, helping with crafts and just all the stuff. She got along really well with the teacher. The other students thought she was a teacher. Only one person knew she was my mom, my friend Sarah. Having my mom there made all the difference. The first few times I did want her help in the bathroom, but after a week or so I was going and handling it myself like I learned how to at home. I attended that elementary school all though to fifth grade, got given the called, Diaper Dave, or diaper boy, or diaper baby. not the most creative names but it still hurt anyway.

Hi everyone I’m 24m seeking advice. I had a spinal cord injury a few years ago and it took about 8 months before I could pee on my own again and everything was fine for about a year then randomly I just started waking up wet very often and now it seems like it’s a almost nightly occurrence. I’m no medical professional but I think it’s because my body still can’t fully open the little “valve” in my bladder to let the urine out so in the beginning it took a bit of pushing and sometimes I still have to push and I think that’s weakened that control. Anyway I think this is going to be a long term hurdle to overcome and I’m seeking advice for nightwear. I’ve tried depends and other similar diapers and always leak through. I’ve tried the pants from Dryment and leak through, Is there anything on the market for people with heavy leakage issues? I have a very large bladder and am unfortunately a heavy sleeper so it seems once that dam breaks I go ALOT. I’ve been sleeping on washable pads that work well but get bunched up very easily and are just uncomfortable for me to lay on having the back issues I do. If you’ve made it through this whole thing thanks for reading and any recommendations will greatly be appreciated and much love to all my fellow individuals going through this bs we aren’t alone in it!

If you are wearing a tabbed diaper do you ever just pee cause it’s easier than taking it off and using the toilet? I hate taking off my tabbed diaper and putting it back on. Is this a bad thing to do?

I have been dealing with this my entire life. I thought it was normal as a kid. To me, that’s what underwear was for. It was to protect your pants because people leak pee.

As it turns out I have learnt this is not the case. I believe I might be dealing with some sort of partial incontinence. I can hold it mostly but over the course of my day I tend to leak into my pants.

It wasn’t so bad before but lately I have noticed I have been leaking into my actual pants more and more often. And more and more so there has been less pee coming out of me when I actually reach a toilet.

The problem is I don’t even realise it’s happening until I feel how wet and uncomfortable I am. I don’t know how I don’t realise. It’s like I can feel that I need to pee most of the time but I leak out a considerable amount if I don’t get to the bathroom right when the urge hits and I don’t even notice until it’s already happened.

Does anyone else relate? I feel like I’m losing my mind. If it helps I am diagnosed autistic

Whats everyone's Go To Diaper

Mine curently is Northshore Megamax Pink Purple White.

i has level 2/3 autism but mine aba worker and doctor want me re evaluated cause they think im am higher support than that level

i have a caretaker who takes care of me altho im am get a new one who will better care for me hopfuly

and in the future im am move into group home for 24/7 care and supervision

i have been urinary incontinent mine hole life and sometimes struggle with bowel accidents

Hey all,

I am curious. A while ago, I was with a client during an appointment for an incontinence specialist. Out of curiosity, I asked what the difference between incontinence underwear versus menstrual underwear, and whether they can be used interchangeably. The specialist said that they are designed for different viscosities

Disposable period pants are a thing in the market now, but they only come in packs of two. I haven't done a full price break down, but my intuition thinks that incontinence pants/pads might be cheaper.

Doubled with the fact that I have a vague memory when I was younger of accidentally buying incontinence pads, and they were SOOO comfy. I loved how thick they were.

I'm curious to know if there is any insight into this?

I am a heavy bleeder because of my IUD. I am aware of this, I am okay with it for now. Have spoken to doctors about it.

Hey all, I (35m) have been diagnosed with OAB and urge incon. I have been wearing guards and the occasional pullup to deal with and spurts or drips that come out before I can make it to the toilet. Last week I was at the beach with my wife and her parents and since it was a bit of a drive I decided to wear a pullup. As soon as we get there I find a restroom and go. Not 30 min later we are walking on the beach far from any restroom and the urge hits again. Not wanting to have to run to try and find a restroom, I decided to let go just a little which of course turned into more than I intended. I had a change with me and was able to do it all discreetly.

My question that has been on my mind, is how many people here wear and use diapers or pullups even if there is a possibility they might still make it to the bathroom in time. Basically so that it doesn't affect you living your life without constantly having to find a restroom.

Final poll of this series. Not every poll has to be heavy. When symptoms, leaks, urgency, or poor sleep make the day harder, what small comfort helps most?

View Poll

Please, I’m at the end of my rope. Tell me someone here has actually managed to stop their gas incontinence ? This has been going on nonstop for four months : some days are a full-blown crisis, other days are okay, but the only time it’s okay is when I eat nothing but meat, and I just can’t manage to stay consistent with that. I constantly feel little gas bubbles, and sometimes no pressure at all in the sphincter ; It’s mostly odorous, silent gas when it happens.

Thank you so much for any help ! I’ve already seen three gastroenterologists and none of them are taking me seriously…

Has anyone here tired Threaded Armor cloth diapers? I’ve been thinking about getting some for daytime wear to save money on regular diapers.

Hello everyone!

I have been wearing adult incontinence underwear for over a year now- specifically the incontinence underwear/pullups.

I reached out to my doctor, and he wrote me a prescription for incontinence briefs.

just today I received my first package from Byram, the company providing the briefs. I received the prevail nu fit daily briefs. I have not used tabbed briefs before, and at 26 years old I have no clue how I'm going to wear these. I do not understand how to put them on myself by myself. I'm so incredibly frustrated with trying these- I've tried multiple times to put them on, but i just. don't know what to do or where I'm going wrong. I also wish they could have asked me about what I would need before sending me 10 bags of prevail nu fit daily briefs...

Anyone have any tips for wearing tabbed briefs? I'm used to the pull ons and those feel much more discreet compared to these.

thank you in advance, and im sorry for the frustration. I don't know anywhere else to turn for advice, so thank you!!

Context; 26 year old (any pronouns) with stress incontinence for over a year, previously wearing Always Discreet Incontienence Underwear. Incontinence worsened after getting a hysterectomy.

I typically wear pull up style diapers when at the gym, but my flow has been much heavier recently and I didn’t feel I could trust them. I wore an M4 the other day, with no issues. Today, as I was finishing my leg workout with some planks, I suddenly felt my shorts become wet. I had already had two accidents since I arrived, and this third one put it over the top.

I looked down at the mat I was using, and sure enough it was wet as well. I panicked and quickly used the gym provided towel to wipe it and got some disinfect wipes to do a cleaner job. While walking over though, some of the absorbent material fell out my shorts leg. This happened several more times as I frantically tried cleaning up. I cleaned up as much as I could see, but fear I could have missed something. Thankfully, I was alone in that specific room, but still had to make my way downstairs and to the locker room. I can’t go a gym session without seeing someone I know, often students.

I walked as slowly as possible, to be sure nothing else fell out. When I got to the locker room, I went in a stall and accessed the situation. I had worn briefs over the diaper, to prevent sagging. They were wet, but I couldn’t see the issue with the diaper. I had a fresh pull-up style in my bag, but I avoid changing there if at all possible. I changed my shoes, and abruptly made it to my car. It felt like another piece of absorbent material fell out on the way, but I was too embarrassed to glance.

This happened a few hours ago, and it’s still racing through my mind. I hope I did a good enough job cleaning up, and that no one (especially that I know) noticed anything on the way out.

Does anyone have recommendations on how to avoid this in the future? Perhaps cloth backed would be better suited for all the leg movements of gym day? My fear is cloth never absorbs the smells as well.