u/ConfidenceOne3

This is a small city in the U.S. The mountain should be extremely recognizable if you have been there, otherwise this is probably a hard one. Good luck!

https://preview.redd.it/xlhdzop8aujh1.jpg?width=5184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e79f8b5b79c43f4fef49a1869ffe4345712c2491

This is a small city in the U.S. The mountain should be extremely recognizable if you have been there, otherwise this is probably a hard one. Good luck!

https://preview.redd.it/xlhdzop8aujh1.jpg?width=5184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e79f8b5b79c43f4fef49a1869ffe4345712c2491

Between the ages of 8-14, I went through periods of intense anxiety and fear of hell/ not being saved. Actually the worst was when I was 8, when I thought for several months that I had somehow run out of chances to be saved. When I was in second grade, my mom read the bible out loud as part of school, and I vividly recall her talking about people running out of chances to get saved and how it is a sad day when that happens. Upon my “confession“ several months later, mom was shocked that I actually thought this, and had no memory of ever saying such a thing. We searched in vain for the bible verse that had worried me. To this day I know of no verses that say people can “run out of chances“ to get saved. Mom told me that satan must have b lying to m, and we said the prayer of salvation together. That was still three months before my ninth birthday.

I don’t blame only evangelicalism for my struggles. I was naturally prone to anxiety anyway. But I am convinced that the evangelical concept of salvation worsened my anxiety as a kid. It is a very individualistic concept of having a personal connection with God. The only evidence of true conversion is your feeling of joy (good luck if you have an anxiety disorder), and a changed life (not much to change when you’re born into it).

My family converted to Catholicism in 2023, the year I turned 18 and started college. They have encouraged me to join, but tolerated me not doing so. I think they understand that they raised me differently. Ironically, the zealotry of their religious convictions is less intense than in my mom’s evangelical days. It’s frustrating to realize that my entire childhood culture, my education, my entire universe, were based upon what turned out to be my parents going through a phase in their personal faith journeys.

Watching my sister go through first communion has made me a bit wistful for my own childhood, for what happened and what didn’t. Yes, I understand that Catholics can suffer from intense guilt and anxiety like evangelicals. But at the same time, taking communion and going to confession are concrete actions that don’t rely solely upon an anxious little girl searching her soul for signs of the holy spirit. My sibling has memories of celebrating a special moment in church with her friends. I have memories of praying the salvation prayer alone at home.

Hello, it’s me, the creator of the Homeschooled Voices website. I know this website hasn’t been very active recently. Honestly I have just struggled with motivation, but I don’t want to let this website end. I plan to get back into writing articles regularly.

Also, you may remember me asking for quotes for an article. I received many long thoughtful responses that ended up seeming like too much to put into one article. I have decided that a better approach to sharing homeschooling stories would be to let anyone who’s interested write their own individual article. There is a submissions page on the site or you could message me on Reddit and I’ll give you an email to send it to.

I plan to continue posting about the website here. While it is not only about homeschool recovery and negative experiences like this subreddit, I definitely respect and want to include the experiences of all homeschooled people. Even my own experience gave me some benefits but also came with some tradeoffs that I’m still processing. And I have to say that the fact that the only alumni specific community I’ve found is called “homeschool recovery“ shows that reality is more complicated than a lot of homeschool parents realize. Hence the need for an alumni site.

For example, a middle- or upper-class conservative housewife with a decent non-abusive husband and a traditional nuclear family may think she does not need feminism. After all, her life is okay. While she may admit that women in the past were oppressed (and maybe even women in some developing countries), she is surely not, right? "Feminism has gone too far she might think", "I don't like the focus on sexuality", "It's for woke miserable people who want to complain about nothing", "It's so stupid to care this much now when women already have their rights".

However, without viewing family life through a feminist lens, she will fall straight into the unequal division of labor trap that has confined women for centuries. While her husband has a career and earns his own money, she will stay home. She may be perfectly happy with this arrangement, genuinely love being around her kids, and think of this as her choice, her role, and her job. But it will slowly and quietly consume her, erase her identity and personality, and break down her body. For without feminist awareness, she has chosen a "job" with no breaks and no end. The complete sacrifice of her body to endless pregnancies. The endless housework while she is still recovering. The years of fragmented sleep, sacrificing her most basic biological needs while her husband does not have to. She will get no time off for hobbies, while her husband does his golfing or fishing or hunting trips in his spare time. She will be inundated with 24/7 screaming-whining-fussing-complaining endless demands with no break for her nervous system. Everything domestic will automatically be her responsibility unless she directly asks her husband or an older child to "help" her.

It is the silent, private, quiet nightmare of being surrounded by privilege and luxury yet having the quality of life of an unpaid domestic worker. Her husband can afford a beautiful house that he enjoys, and she must spend several hours a day cleaning it. She will go years without completing a night of sleep in their luxurious bed because the little ones have trouble sleeping and she is the default parent to help them. She will have money to spend on the things she loves, but no time to enjoy them. The financially well-off tradwife is still little more than a zombified chore-doing nanny and maid.

To me as a young woman, motherhood looks like the most insanely brutal complete and total sacrifice a woman could make. It is the death of self, the dulling of your intelligence, the breaking of your body. You will never rest or enjoy things again. Your body will become a machine for meeting other's needs.

*** of course I know that not ALL marriages are like this, this is just how it often does work

For example, a middle- or upper-class conservative housewife with a decent non-abusive husband and a traditional nuclear family may think she does not need feminism. After all, her life is okay. While she may admit that women in the past were oppressed (and maybe even women in some developing countries), she is surely not, right? "Feminism has gone too far she might think", "I don't like the focus on sexuality", "It's for woke miserable people who want to complain about nothing", "It's so stupid to care this much now when women already have their rights".

However, without viewing family life through a feminist lens, she will fall straight into the unequal division of labor trap that has confined women for centuries. While her husband has a career and earns his own money, she will stay home. She may be perfectly happy with this arrangement, genuinely love being around her kids, and think of this as her choice, her role, and her job. But it will slowly and quietly consume her, erase her identity and personality, and break down her body. For without feminist awareness, she has chosen a "job" with no breaks and no end. The complete sacrifice of her body to endless pregnancies. The endless housework while she is still recovering. The years of fragmented sleep, sacrificing her most basic biological needs while her husband does not have to. She will get no time off for hobbies, while her husband does his golfing or fishing or hunting trips in his spare time. She will be inundated with 24/7 screaming-whining-fussing-complaining endless demands with no break for her nervous system. Everything domestic will automatically be her responsibility unless she directly asks her husband or an older child to "help" her.

It is the silent, private, quiet nightmare of being surrounded by privilege and luxury yet having the quality of life of an unpaid domestic worker. Her husband can afford a beautiful house that he enjoys, and she must spend several hours a day cleaning it. She will go years without completing a night of sleep in their luxurious bed because the little ones have trouble sleeping and she is the default parent to help them. She will have money to spend on the things she loves, but no time to enjoy them. The financially well-off tradwife is still little more than a zombified chore-doing nanny and maid.

To me as a young woman, motherhood looks like the most insanely brutal complete and total sacrifice a woman could make. It is the death of self, the dulling of your intelligence, the breaking of your body. You will never rest or enjoy things again. Your body will become a machine for meeting other's needs.

*** of course I know that not ALL marriages are like this, this is just how it often does work

*warning- I will discuss some sensitive topics like assault and sexism*

What causes women to suffer? Sexism is obviously a huge problem worldwide, but women are also cursed in the way our natural bodies operate, and how we differ from men. If you had to design sexual dimorphism in a way to cause maximum suffering to one biological sex, humanity would be your result.

Everyday Hormones

Let's start with the least disturbing point. Even the perfectly healthy female body has to go through periods and hormonal fluctuations. Our basic state of existence comes with more hassle than it does for men. Add the conditions some women have like, endometriosis, PMDD, menstrual migraines, and the like. I mean, is the female body just built to suffer? Society then makes it worse by not taking women's health seriously. I'm a relatively healthy young woman who hasn't even had anything truly horrific happen to me, and every month I deal with extreme anxiety and hopelessness because of my stupid natural hormones.

Pregnancy/Childbirth

Reproduction. The continuation of humankind. It's pretty important. So why does it have to be literal torture for women? I am not joking. Women have to experience their whole body metamorphose, go through the extreme ordeal of childbirth, and then years of isolation, overstimulation, and EXTREME sleep deprivation. Being woken several times a night for OVER A YEAR STRAIGHT in some cases. Sleep deprivation is a literal torture technique. Solitary confinement a punishment for prisoners. Several hours of loud screaming a day can melt your brain. Meanwhile, the man just has to have sex, and if he does raise the baby with the mother, his role will likely be much less all-consuming.

Moms often have to sacrifice everything (career, hobbies, interests, free time, rest, personality, health, and identity) for their children and be happy. They get a Mother's Day card at best, but no true support. Dads often do not sacrifice enough time for their children and get a free pass from society.

None of this is the innocent baby's fault, obviously. Babies are so helpless and tiny that they need to be fed at night, they cry because they cannot communicate any other way. They are just little humans trying to survive. It's unfortunate that the whole process also happens to be uniquely brutal on women, and not men.

Sexual Assault

I say some troubling things here, so skip this section if you need to

I want to be very clear that I am not victim-blaming here. Ultimately the full responsibility of these crimes rests on the men who perpetuate them.

After having read HUNDREDS of testimonies from survivors on Reddit and elsewhere, these are my conclusions. The terms I use are based on real things I have read from survivors themselves.

What does literally every culture, country, and society have in common. Abusing women of course! This has been a massive problem throughout all of human existence. Perhaps the very nature of men makes it easier for them to act on their evil desires, and the very nature of women makes them a target. I mean seriously, one biological sex had to be PHYSICALLY WEAKER than the other!?!? This is the perfect recipe for them to be tortured for all of human history! Men literally have the biological ability to murder women's souls, personalities, and identities and turn them into a different person for the rest of their life. In a few minutes. With a weapon attached to their bodies. And it rarely gets punished. Even in the most "developed" societies, the natural evils of humanity continue. Imagine the female life and vibrancy that has been crushed forever! Even one incident can potentially ruin the victim's life. Most men have a body part that can in effect kill women inside while leaving them physically alive. Even years and years of the very best modern therapy and medication will usually only result in the victim being sort of okay. Rarely, will their new quality of life ever surpass old one. It's like she has to rebuild herself from scratch. Men can commit almost supernaturally (soul-crushingly) horrific crimes just using their natural biology. You can't beat that.

I hate human sexual dimorphism with an unknowable passion. It has made the world a hell of suffering and injustice.