u/Crabcakes-Evergreen

Im not sure how to approach this. I am diagnosed autism, adhd, MDD. I don't have any close friends. I make a friend sometimes but I end up being ghosted.
I try to take part in online communities in some way, and every time I try, like on Reddit, I get my posts removed or ignored completely, or like in women's autism sub, I got called out for being rude or aggressive-even though Id felt that from others.
It sounds weird, but I feel cursed when it comes to the human world. I dont encounter any situations where i feel included, even though I see posts and stories I deeply identify with, those same communities reject my presence. Im of course worried it will happen now too, and this post will also get removed, and I still wont know why.
This has happened so long that I dont know how not to feel inherently bad or unworthy.
I know its impossible to know the whole story, but was wondering if anyone else is experiencing anything like this? Even in communities that are marginalized, I am still rejected from.

Hey all. So I have some pretty deep set beliefs about myself regarding belonging and being loved/liked etc. Often, deeply, all I really care about is authentic connection, relationships of deep mutual attraction (romance and friendships both) , and a home with a family. I find it difficult to find anything else meaningful enough to hold my attention. Ive also rarely had these things.
I believe I have manifested some things like seeing a certain color car or bird, or some meaningful coincidence/synchronicity.

I want to try with 'small' things Ive heard a 'list method' mentioned before, to strengthen your awareness of manifesting, but whenever i go to list, my mind is blank or i keep listing the same 3 ideas, often even forgetting them. Im not unimaginative in general, but I am looking for some inspiration if you will; What are some small things you've manifested easily?

Hey so, often I will see a thing I want-usually t shirt/top, and there are no measurements posted, so I ask using the comment feature. 4/5 times the seller does not respond and Ive even gone back months later-the thing is still for sale but no response.
I just rely on measures since I cant try it on and with so many other possibilities to go wrong, I just wont buy it.
I guess this might just be a rant?? But also, is there another message feature that Im missing?

This might start a little dismal but maybe someone can make it fun😅
I was driving down my mountain today and asked myself, Would I want to stay alive if things never got better, if my environment or outlook never changed, and I would have my same life always. And my gut was No.
(not a bad no-no, just a hypothetical existential wondering)
But then I thought, If I was the last human alive, would I want to stay? And my gut says Yes.
Humans feel both like a barrier, but also a profound craving for authentic connection.

I don't have a local human ecosystem right now and I feel profoundly isolated; But even when this isn't the case, I don't know how connected I feel...or can feel?
I have only had one autistic friend (that I know of) and while I felt a deep connection, they did ghost me, and they had heavy drug issues.
And I often am drawn to neurotypical people, especially helpers, because they have this 'I can translate the world for you' kinda feel; But they don't connect with me enough to stay.
I don't have a leading question really..apologies if this reads aimless and rambling..but I often wonder if it feels more comforting or affirming to have human autistic connections, or if its just about particular people, and some of us just don't connect.
I have one sort of acquaintance with a dog and that dog is the only individual atm who I know without a doubt is happy to see me. Can it ever be like that with humans..

Does anyone know for sure if Roundup is being used in Fall Creek?

Iv searched this sub and most see posts about vivid dreams. Iv had intense dreams my whole life (it's a whole other conversation!) but in the past year+ , the time Im guessing. Iv been in perimenopause, I have lost easy dream recall. Everyone dreams to some measure so Im sure Im having them but only every few days I will maybe get one foggy image, and then gone.

Anyone else? Im wondering if its just connected to the effects on brain fog and memory in general.

So if this isn't allowed plz tell-Otherwise I understand this is just for informationals:

Does anyone take stimulant meds for ADHD *and* drink coffee and it's alright? Im somewhat new to the meds; Ive tried Vyvanse and now Ritalin. I really want coffee but Google says better not. I have had coffee with Vyvanse and it was a bit intense, although manageable with L-theanine.

Can I ask everyone's experience with it? And if you have anxiety disorder etc

For anyone who shops at markets like Staff and New Leaf and Wild roots, and maybe a few things at Costco how much are you spending per person per month these days?