u/Cute-as-duck-888

Our pastor has been involved with my husband and I since we were kids. He knows a lot about our lives.
Since my husband got been hurt, he acts more like another kid than a husband. It’s generally not that bad. It is different. He is depressed about it and that affects the rest of our family. He struggles to do things that he was capable of prior to his injury.

He’s pretty much blocked me from accessing any of our tech and banking accounts. We’ve always had separate accounts but now he flip/flops between giving me access to pay some of bills and what not. Now, He hasn’t paid for anything in months and he wishes he could take care of the family and be the breadwinner. I try to remind him it’s ok. The rest of the world sees him as he use to be and shame him for not being able to provide. It hurts a lot. I’ve blocked out most of those people out of our lives.

Today, he was mean. He’s trying to run “our” new venture and that required him mailing out products that were bought. He was having trouble understanding what he was doing. He was taking out on everyone and blaming me for weird stuff. Our daughter was so upset.

What do we do? Has anybody been through this on either end?

He won’t take meds. He only talks to doctors to “make me happy.” It’s actually kinda hard. I’m not competing with him but I am quietly picking up where he can’t anymore. He’s so hard on himself. I don’t nag him or anything because there’s no use. I give him realistic deadlines, over extend deadlines, but he can’t seem to meet them anymore. He thinks he might have some sort of defiant thing going on. He’s aware but needs help changing.

Edit: Our pastor told my husband and I, it’s almost as if we’re competing now

He is so withdrawn into himself that it’s scary. He only talks about work. He has two children and a loving wife. We fear he may hurt himself if his state continues. God please end the suffering and confusion tonight. Open AB’s eyes. Bring him back to the world.

Please don’t judge his situation. I’m writing this in hopes that someone had a similar situation and something good came out of the end.

Adult that was adopted at 3 days old struggled after the birth of his bio daughter. Worked through the trauma, felt strong enough to try for a son. His mother wound was ripped open again. This time he’s completely rejecting his wife but still needs her. Their dynamic completely shifted and she had to take on the breadwinner/caregiver/all the roles. She’s struggling. He also abandoning himself. Only hyper focuses on kids and work. But he’s not sleeping, picked up many addictions for coping, and struggling in many areas of life.

Friends and family have been sent to therapy trying to help him. He is open to therapy but struggles to stick with it once a sensitive subject is touched. He will attend therapy via zoom but try to fit it in during work or inconvenient times. As a Mid 30s adult he seemed to age regress to a child. It’s been over a year and a half.

We are super worried about him. Half way through the pregnancy he became terrified of having another male human that looked like him. He doesn’t talk much. It’s like there’s a wall put up and he can’t find the time to knock it down. Which makes things keep piling up and getting worse.

Therapist said we should just let him fall and deal with the consequences. But we fear that he may harm himself or allow his mental state to get even worse.

Please help. We don’t know what group or resources to use.

It’s been a few years now. He looks good and I’m still attracted to him. Unfortunately he has completely withdrawn himself, uses questionable substances, has gone to extreme lengths to lose weight, and I think it’s just destroying him mentally.

He is insanely strong and everyone talks about his muscles. He carries weight around his middle and I think it’s part of his autoimmune problem.

He thinks he looks like a disgusting dad for our kids and he goes through extreme lows. Nothing I’ve done or said to support him has changed anything. What’s the next step because I can understand from an outside perspective. I just don’t know what else we can do. He hasn’t been comfortable in years. He doesn’t see how it affects the entire family

I just went through the most confusing friendship betrayal. My mom’s response to the friendship betrayal was to remind me that my husband cheated during psychosis brought on by a car accident. (Completely unrelated). I don’t know if I’m just depressed or undiagnosed autistic….

I’ve been told they try to hurt me for possibly many reasons,

“bad at trusting people” but it took almost 20 years to see my best friend has secretly hated me since the beginning.

“tall poppy syndrome.” But I don’t feel I have anything greater other than confidence in myself.

“They can sense something is different about you or your relationships.” So they feel they can wedge their way into my business to understand more, help, or destroy

“People just aren’t happy for others.”

A few more reasons. Idk but I’m really tired of it please God I think I’ve learned my lesson

I go to a therapist on Monday because what the actual f*ck.

Our friend group thought this woman was a little mentally challenged but a very nice person, since we were in our teens. This woman was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and we accepted the mirroring. She disregarded major boundaries and caused some issues. It gets so much darker. She also has a masters degree in psychology and used that knowledge to secretly manipulate others. She hasn’t been able to physically hold it together for the last few years. She has been doing everything in her power to calm her body and it’s not working. It gets so dark that I don’t even want to really talk about the scary sh*t she has done. I think she was projecting when she repeatedly claimed *he (a person we know)* is going to kill us. Besides a restraining order, what else should I do? She made all these insane claims about horrific things that have happened to her. Now I’m wondering if those are some things she wanted to do to us. It’s such a mind fuck because of the constant love bombing. What the actual f*ck?

For the first time in our lives, my family and I are afraid for my husband.

My husband has shut down for the last 3 months. He’s not even 1/15 of his former self. He refuses to admit something is wrong but has agreed to go to a psychologist. None of them have been answering my calls and emails! Each day that goes by I feel like the bomb is getting closer to exploding.

On top of all the creepy behavior, his favorite relatives died. Now it’s even scarier because he’s 100% in his own world. He can fake happiness in public which is scary, but comes home and is completely dead inside and mean to us if we try to talk about anything other than his approved topics.

I’m scared he might end it all.