I wish I could move on from you. Fully let you go. Im exhausted from having the hope that you'll reach out. Thinking that you might still care about me. I still stare at the bag of stuff I found of yours and packed up. Every time I see it I think maybe you'll come back for it. Maybe you even left it here on purpose. While it's here I will continue to have that hope. I hope you come get it soon so I can fully move on.
I'm sorry I'm fucked up. That I hurt you that I couldn't be the partner that you needed. I have been clinging onto hope this last month that you would reach out and listen to what I have to say. I'm trying to hard to let go of that hope. I hope we can exchange our stuff soon so I have nothingeft reminding me of you. So you no longer have a reason to even reach out. You can finally be free of me and never have to look back. I hate how things ended that I never sought out the help I needed but you were one of the most important things in my life. I know you never want to talk to me again I'm trying so hard to accept that.
I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I told you I didn't want you in my life anymore that I left without saying goodbye. I was not ok and lost control of my emotions I let everything build up until I exploded. I wish I could tell you how much I regret everything. How much I regret trying to reach out even after you said you needed space. I wish I could tell you everything I've been thinking about. The steps I'm taking to be better, the patterns I've realized about myself and why I am the way I am. I have faith that you'll understand because you knew I was struggling. You knew I needed help I have faith you'll be able to still see me the person that still loves you and cares about you. The same person you fell in love with. I still sit here every day thinking of today is the day I hear from you. Sitting here wondering about what you have been thinking about this last month. I hope you aren't hurting too much because of me.
Hey you.
I hope you are doing ok. I still think about you every day and hope you are doing ok. I always think about what is going through your head right now. Think about all the hurt I have caused you. I know I wasn't ok and you had told me for a while that I need to seek more help for my mental health and I didn't take it seriously. I wish I could talk to you about the progress I've made and the patterns I have recognized. I understand that you have asked for space and time but I hate being stuck in this limbo. I still find myself having hope and I hate myself for having this hope. I wish I could just let go. I know I can never truly move on while we have stuff at each other's houses. I'll never be able to move on until we try and talk or finally exchange stuff. I sit here every day thinking today might the be the day you reach out. I feel like such a fool.
I wish I knew what you were thinking about right now. What is going through your mind as we aren't talking. I wish I could know how long the silence will last and what is keeping you from reaching out. I hope it's soon but I am starting to lose hope
When you are ready to reach out I hope you can understand me. I hope you can understand my actions and why I am the way I am. Knowing that I'm trying to be the best me possible. I hope you can see me.
It's taking all my willpower not to reach out again. I'm sorry for all the times I have. I want you to know I'm trying really hard. I know I've made progress with getting myself better. I know some days i take a step back but I'm able to recognize these patterns and really trying to fix them. I still have hope you can forgive me somehow. I still have hope you can see the progress I've made. I have hope you can still choose me in the end
I wish I could talk to you so bad right now. I want to share all the progress I've made. I want to tell you everything I've been up to in the last month. I want to know what's on your mind and what you've been thinking about. I know I hurt you and I know I shouldn't have hope that it will be ok that there is still a future for us. I still think you will be understanding. You knew I was really struggling with my mental health I thought you would understand I thought you would care. You were one of the only people that really did care about me and I pushed you away. I wish I could really apologize and take away the hurt that I've caused. I truly am sorry and I understand my actions now. I now understand why I think and do the things that I do. I wish I could tell you all this in person.
I'm sorry I kept pestering you after you said you needed space. I tried my best but it wasn't good enough. I know I have a lot to deal with and a lot of work I need to do. I was proud of myself for the progress I've made recently. For seeking more help for really putting thought into why I am the way I am. My whole life I've always felt inferior to everyone else I'm never good enough for anyone. I'm sorry I didn't respect your wishes I just wanted to share my progress I knew you really cared about me and I wanted you to be happy and proud of me. I know I need to be doing it for me and no one else. It's always felt like no one has ever been happy for me.
I'm sorry I'm crazy. I'm sorry I can't leave you alone. I'm sorry I can't be ok
I have put a lot of thoughts into myself and why I am the way I am. My whole life I've always felt like I'm not good enough for anyone and I'm always letting down everyone I know, I'm so used to feeling like a burden. I'm very used to relationships where it feels like my levels of love and dedication are never reciprocated. I take distance in a relationship very harshly and think of it as a reflection of my own self worth. As I'm not good enough and things are ending and out of my control. I'll push people away before they have the chance to hurt me. I'll hold onto every small issue and let it eat at me until I lose all of who I am and I lose control of my emotions. I become a person I don't want to be. I want to be better and continue to work twords the person I know I can be. I'm starting to work on the healing that I need to do. I'm working really hard on forgiving myself for who I've been. I still hope you can as well. I don't want this to be where things end.
I'm not really doing ok right now. After making great strides during the week it feels like it's all crumbling. Every weekend I hope I'd the weekend that you finally reach out. Always checking my phone to hope that you've had enough time. I have no idea how long I'm supposed to wait. Every day my heart breaks a little more. I know I need help and I have something set up. I wish you knew how sorry I was and how horrible I feel about everything.
Today I am able to forgive myself. I've done a lot of reflecting and realized why I acted the way that I did. I know it doesn't excuse my actions one bit but at least I know what direction to take to try and be better and have started talking steps to finding help. I don't want to be the person that I was any more. I was scared of being alone afraid of abandonment so I lashed out. I finally feel like I'm able to give you the space you need to heal and not constantly check my phone and reach out to you. You deserve to have that peace. I still hope that when you decide to reach out you can also forgive me. I hope I am able to keep these good thoughts going for longer. Today for the first time in a while I feel hopeful like the future will actually be kind.
Currently working through no contact with a partner. Could really use someone to talk to I don't really have anyone else right now.
I know you need time. I'm trying my best to give you that. Every day seems to hurt more than the last waiting for you to reach out. Every time I see my phone buzz my heart skips a beat thinking it might be you. I miss you so much and I'm sorry for everything. I hope you are doing ok and you are not too hurt by my actions. I hope you can still forgive me.
I'm sorry I tried to reach out at first but now that I know you want space I'm fully respecting that. I still check my phone every day hoping you have finally decided to reach out. I know I'm the one that messed up this relationship. I wish I knew what you are thinking about over there and I hope you are not hurting too bad. I've been working on trying to forgive myself because how can I ask you to forgive me if I can't. I know I may not deserve it but I still hope you can give me a chance and we can try again. You were one of the few people in my life that truly cared about me and I'm a fool for thinking you didn't. I hate that it came to this for me to start taking my life seriously but I want to change. I never want to hurt you again. I want to be the person I know I can be and nothing less.