u/Dapper-Letterhead645

**TRIGGER WARNING!**My dad growing up seemed to have a disdain for not only me but the pets we had. It was never HIS idea to have pets it was my mom's.

It started off with my dog growing up, beautiful dalmatian...he NEVER let him inside and he was always outside. Well one-day he put my dog in the garage and I guess " forgot " he put him in there and ran over him with the van...claims it was an "accident" and that he didn't see him.

I was so distraught. I believe he had broke his leg or something and ended up putting him down at the vet. I also found it selfish and rude how he never let me know that he had to put him down until way later...never a text or call to confirm! I was in highschool at the time too so he could've easily texted me hey this is what's best.

Anyways I just got the vibe he wanted to wipe his hands clean of my dog..and not spend money on a surgery..he lacked so much empathy in the situation! I loved that dog so much he was my best friend.

Also my cat turned up missing...and at the time he lied and he told me he didn't know what happened to him..

Years later mom later told me he took him to the pound because he was annoyed are *outdoor* cat was killing birds..only doing what cats do..maybe he should've let him inside? 🙄He was not completely feral. Also- Only animal my dad liked was birds..prob because there was a comfortable distance, and he felt he could be in control.

We had this small black dog for awhile and I loved him so much too...we got him because my mom pushed for it. my dad was ok with him at first but then ended up getting rid of him too when he started having accidents.

One-day I asked him did you ever love our dalmatian we had? he immediately turned it on me and asked me if I loved our little black dog we had...I was like WTF! of course I've loved all of our pets...but he never answered my question.

O and Lastly, I found out he got rid of his new wife's dog ( my parents ended up divorcing) when it was having accidents too. It was an elderly dog...you're just going to give away your pet you've had for years because it's at the end of it's life and having some accidents? Get a doggy diaper..or pads. I think it was both of their ideas because she's a lot like him..control freaks.

Anyways. They just treat everything like it's a transaction. When they are tired of something they wipe their hands clean with seemingly no remorse. It's bizarre.

So my dad texted me his "new number" after I FIRST reached out when I found he moved to another state (without even telling me) 🙄

Well, I didn't respond to that "here's my new number" text and we haven't spoke in almost five years.

I guess I was just tired.

Tired of calling him first...

Tired of him saying he would work on calling me more but never got one call after that...

Tired of the guilt trips that I don't drive clear across town to see HIM enough....but he can't set up it to where we meet half way?

Tired of me being the one to invite him to lunch just me and him to work on our relationship...

Just tired.

So my mindset was ok you got a new number? Cool now put it to use and stop bread crumbing me 🙃

Anyways..... I feel just because I didn't respond to that SINGLE text message of him sending me his new number...he is trying to punish me. Do you think this is controlling ? He has always been controlling.

My dad moved away to another state with his new wife without telling me...I was pretty let down after this..hurt and confused..BUT at the same time not that shocked. Before he moved though i had tried working on our relationship...inviting him out to lunch...calling him on his birthday..and telling him he's welcome to call me too. He said he would " work on that"

Well I never got a call...found out he moved and that was that. I did reach out once and told him I didn't know he was moving..and I'm happy for him. ( Trying to be the bigger person ) And he didn't say much back. Never asked about my life either.

He later texted me his " new number" and I just didn't respond...I figured if he actually wants to talk to me and form a bond he can call. I was tired of putting in more effort. I was tired of the bread crumbs.

Idk if it pissed him off I didn't respond to that ONE text but we have not spoke in almost five years since..and he still never called me like he said he would "work on" 🙄

Anyone's parent/parents move away without telling you? I find it so flaky and odd.. Or did y'all's relationship just fade away? the lack of them fighting for the relationship..or better yet just putting in the bare minimum can hurt and feel confusing. He odviously thought I didn't deserve a call to tell me he's moving away...

So sorry everyone here has had to deal with toxic, abusive, neglectful, controlling and emotionally absent parents. 😔❤️🙏 Any advice or insight helps. thank you so much.

Told my Dad I got out of abusive relationship he told me " you just want me to feel sorry for you " ( no I wanted support )

Told my Dad I had a legit seizure in my sleep and had to go to the hospital and he said " o you're fine"

Had a bad panic attack when I was a teen ( didn't know that's what it was ) and called 911 and he shamed me for it...because of the money? I didn't even end up going anywhere.

Was assaulted by a guy and he told me " I new that would happen " " you should've never gone there" and gave me no hug or comfort when I was crying. ( I use to date guys I felt I could fix I know big mistake )

I've also never had a history of drugs abuse or anything like that. I'm not judging anyone who has but bottom line I never received comfort or a hug from my dad when I was in need.