u/DeliciousMoney2

buckees manger tryin to find his beever dude

i told Bucky no matter how much fudge they offerin i ain't bringin him back their

mite have to lay low for a lil bit tho

mite need to rent Bucky to some trucker fans to earn some cash so we can keep the Tiddy bars quiet until we find Chudz

but he ain't never goin back to that life dude. not for all the fudge in Daytona dude

we ran outta cash on are rode trip again dude

lucky four us, the good lawd bless us with a golden beever on are travels fellers willin to pay top doller for dude just to show em there truck

bucky ushually a teem player, but today he had a attitood dude

so i remind him of his Buckees fudge past, tell him i love em, an slap em round a bit remind him why we doin this dude

buckey take off his beever hat n shirt after hard day workin the trucks

their a tiny lil feller under their dude

all this time i thot he was a giant beever dude, dude

turn out he just a funny lookin human dude with a beever body dude

he had this look in his eyes. like he seent the inside of two many trucks. I tell him their no such thing

than i pat his funny lil hed, and tell him he done good

but he don't say nuthin, just starin off in the sky prob thinkin about troops or sumthin

he free from the fudge now dude. he can do wutever he want dude

troops gave us that

he work his lil tale oft today dude

after I get him home to the Super 8, after he stuff Chudz with his aftnoon rashins. Imma do something speshal for em

leenin Tiddy bar dude

a men

But we both learn valuable lesson, mostly them, and they better now dude

Never use a pre noun in my life dude.

And I love Prez, he got a huge dong dude. More than ever, this the dong I vote for. Prez should be able to do whatever tf he want with his pools with that hog.

And now they know that too dude

This what America all about dude. Being in you're feelings looking for meets and a shredded Chad come explain the world

A men

I was just reedin threw the ONLY BOOK I'LL EVER NEED dude.

The ALPHA BIBEL.

Ever herd of it leberals?

Was flippin threw my favorit story in hear dude.

It about Dave gettin a buncha dongs so he can earn some Tiddys.

So the story go like this dude

King Saul see how shredded Dave is. Veins. Abs. The hole package dude.

And Saul get nervous as he'll.

So Saul wanna get rid of Dave, but he can't just kill em till he's died dude

So he make a gae plan.

He tell Dave, "Go fech me 100 Philly dongs dude, and you can have my daughter Tiddys."

And Dave, bein a mayne of God, and Tiddys, say:

"He'll ya dude."

So Dave gather up his frens and head down to Philly.

One his mens say, "Dave, we really goin all the way down there for 100 Philly dongs dude?"

And Dave don't even flinch

"200 dude."

The mens gasp.

So they storm into Philly shredded as he'll.

Just rippin and tearin threw the countryside.

Baggin all the Philly dongs they could

Finally they drag several bags of dongs back to the king.

Dave dump em right at Saul's feet.

DONG THUD.

King Saul stare at the pile.

Look at Dave, and say:

"Dave... this way more dongs than I ask for dude."

And Dave just nod.

"Yuh."

Then he walk away dude.

The lesson J Chris tryin to tell us hear is simple as he'll. Under promise, over deliver on dongs and you will be rewarded with Tiddys dude.

A men.

cuple alpha wolfs doin what alpha wolfs do best dude

huntin dongs in the dead of nite

i tol Bob we was goin to the tiddy bar… Mermaids…

but on the way... in DT st pete… under a flickerin street light… Bob spots tracks… lil hand prints in the dirt… and i seent it in his eyes…

their wuld be no tiddys for us tonite dude

the swich flip in Bob

never seen a man lock in like that… like he could heer the recoons tauntin him from the shadows

i try to tell him it was see meet wensday at Mermaids, but he din't care dude

“you go on ahed if yer yeller,” he whispers… all graggly like... "their a hole mess of recoons out their, and i got a CURIOUS mind to no more about em."

we track em for miles… alleyways… dumpsters… and then we find it…

a hole colony of dong havin recoons… not a womens in the bunch… eyes glowin in the dark

i got scared an try to turn back, "the shrimp cocktale good as he'll at Mermaids dude" i tol him

but Bob din't heer

He steps forward… calm… too calm…

grabs the first one… locks eyes… grumbles somethin deep, like he was workin thru some motor oil

and before i can even blink… he rips that poor critters dong off without even usin his hands

cleen

like hes done it a thousand times before

i just stood their dude… as he thrashed thru these critters. one by one. no mercy for there bodys or souls dude... they was just dongs to Bob

wen it was all done we just stood their. quiet. breethin in the dark.

i thot maybe he might never say nuthin ever again so i say

"U dun good Bob. now lets bag up these dongs and get on to Mermaids dude."

A men

in this 8 week coarse I gonna teech you everything u need to no about how to use a blade to prepare for the final battle dude

one these days you gonna be called for battle dude. u gone be ready?

a men

Meat Sebastian dude

Sebastian the first alpha wolfs I let inside my den to lern the blade arts dude. Took em off the streets and into my dojo (the Tiddy Bar parking lot)

First thing I ask all my student:

“What make u mad as he'll dude?”

Cuz u NEVER wanna teech a man the anshent blade dance unless he mad as he'll dude.

That wear the blade power come from dude. wear a man get the strong for war dude. The dong dude

As his sensei, it my job to forge this soft uncooked chicken nugget of a man into a stone cold blade n puss machine dude

And that ain’t easy.

that why this lil chicken man pay me $60 a blade sesh + cover my Tiddy Bar expenses after we get sweaty as he'll trainin his dong for war

Some nights I make Sebastian swing the blade 400 times

not Tonite tho dude. we cut Tonite seshin short cuz Pam was up at 8. and Sebastian need to see the Tiddys he out their fightin for and buy me a good meel for all I done for em

All in all I gotta say, this is now my son, dude, and I ain't ashame to say it.

Not by blood. I tell everybody he did NOT come from my dong, dude.

But are story merican as the red white and strips

Step dad that stepped up

Lil nerd found me on Craigslist.

Pay me money to teech him the blade outside the Tiddy bar.

I was showin him how to swing steel and be a man when I notice somethin speshal about him

His mom got big tiddys, dude.

So now he my boy.

Sure, he got flaws dude. So did J Chris

Boy smell like old milk and wet pool towls

He shit with money two, dude. Every time I take out a credit card in his name it get decline

And he a disaster at the Tiddy Bar. Just sittin their starin.

Don't even point n grunt like I tot him dude

And don't get me started on the Chinese robot nerd shit

But deep down beneath the smells n nerd talk is the heart of a true alpha warryer

And I ain't givin up on him.

I'm gonna get this boy some proper puss, teach him how to sell shirts to shredded dudes, and send him out into the world.

Into the forest, dude. Far from the den, and his room I got big sword plans for

Out in the wild dude. Where he can hunt, gather, slay puss, n pay down his revolvin debts

And I gonna be a true father to this nerd. Make a honest womens out his big Tiddy mom and her big house

She make me smile.

Just sayin her name make my eyes sweaty as he'll

I don't even no her name. Never needed it

Never asked.

Big Tiddy Lady With The Nice House good enuff for me, dude.

A men.

This my son, dude, and I ain't ashame to say it.

Not by blood. I tell everybody he did NOT come from my dong, dude.

But are story merican as the red white and strips

Lil nerd found me on Craigslist.

Pay me money to teech him the blade outside the Tiddy bar.

I was showin him how to swing steel and be a man when I notice somethin speshal about him

His mom got big tiddys, dude.

So now he my boy.

Sure, he got flaws dude. So did J Chris

Boy smell like old milk and wet pool towls

He shit with money two, dude. Every time I take out a credit card in his name it get decline

And he a disaster at the Tiddy Bar. Just sittin their starin.

Don't even point n grunt like I tot him dude

And don't get me started on the Chinese robot nerd shit

But deep down beneath the smells n nerd talk is the heart of a true alpha warryer

And I ain't givin up on him.

I'm gonna get this boy some proper puss, teach him how to sell shirts to shredded dudes, and send him out into the world.

Into the forest, dude. Far from the den, and his room I got big sword plans for

Out in the wild dude. Where he can hunt, gather, slay puss, n pay down his revolvin debts

And I gonna be a true father to this nerd. Make a honest womens out his big Tiddy mom and her big house

She make me smile.

Just sayin her name make my eyes sweaty as he'll

I don't even no her name. Never needed it

Never asked.

Big Tiddy Lady With The Nice House good enuff for me, dude.

But blade trainin on pause tonite after Sebastian credit card got DECLINE AGAIN while I was tryin buy him a signed Steven Seagull poster for my men cave

embarressin moment for both us dude

Espeshally Sebastian who embarress me my only son

turn out the student lone fat cats cot on he been spendin all his student money on Seagull merch and Tiddy bar shrimps

So the gravy train dry up dude.

wich bad news, cuz I need the boy finanshally stable for the prime Tiddy bar months

So Uncle Bob n me takin this chicken man out in the meen streets to teech him a tuff lesson on moneys

we cuttin him in eerly on the family business dude.

The Recoon dong poachin grind

sumthin I hope to sheeld him from, but he force my hand with his careless ways dude

give him a chance to pull enuff dongs from these angry critters to get are finances back on track so we can return to the lifestyle he grow comfy with dude

I didn't ask to be his dad dude. he don't even know I his dad cuz I haven't told him about the crushin of his moms tiddies

but I gonna need him to pull his wait round here, if she want me to continue to be a positive male role model for her son

A men

“BE NOT AFRAID DUDE” the angle Gabe say to Mary when he teleport in her room one nite glowin as he'll.

Mary freak out coverin up but Gabe wave it off.

“Be not afraid dude, there no need to cover up the Tiddys. I come from the sky dude. I seen em already.” Gabe say, makin sure Mary stay chill.

Than Gabe hit her with the grate news dude.

“The Holey Sprite bouta put a baby in you dude. Not a regular baby neither. This Chris dude. He gonna be a huge deel. With powers.”

But Mary still scared as he’ll

“Listen dude,” Gabe say, rippin a fat vape cloud across the room. “I know you with Joe. Joe cool as he'll dude. But this ain’t gonna be his baby dude. This God’s. Joe eventually gonna get it dude.”

Mary got even more confuse dude. She say she a virgin

And Gabe nod like “Exactly dude, good for you dude. That what gonna make this hole thing way harder for Joe dude. But just tell him it the Holey Sprite dude. Joe will understand probly”

Then Gabe tell her more good news

“you're cousin Liz? Old as he'll dude. Holey Sprite over there puttin a baby in her two dude. That baby also gonna be a alpha name John... the Baptist.”

Then the angle took one more gigantic vape rip, blasted smoke, and fly back into the sky.

Make you think dude.

a men

She said yes dude.

I surprize her by sneekin into my new house. Ain't been here since I first seen her tiddys all them weeks ago and new rite then she was gonna be wife.

I was sweaty as he'll dude. Barely broke through the window and opened the side door.

Walked down the hallway, knees week as he'll dude. Heart beatin like a freedom drum.

Than I walk in on a mayne takin a shower dude.

Wrong house.

Instantly knew I'd made tactical error.

So I turn and run while this dude comin after me loadin a gun. I keep yellin "I LIVE NEXT DOOR DUDE!" but he ain't listenin.

And brother...

His dong was flailin around like Old Glory on that blessed nite we won are freedom.

Never seen a dong like this dude.

Didn't even know God made katanas like this

Had so many questions.

But I also didn't wan get shot.

So I sprint across the street toward my actual house.

As I busted through the window and opened the side door again, I thought about everything that brought me here.

Troop Fest.

Kevin

5G

Buc-ee's.

Chudz.

Sensei Mitch.

Cheryl.

Sebastian.

Bob.

My future wife and her giant tiddys.

Hole life flashin before my eyes dude.

And that's when I remembered the dong from a few minutes earlier.

My God dude.

As that mayne was loadin his gun it looked like the dong was bout to grab a magazine

Otherworldly.

Made me proud as he'll to be American knowin we got weapons systems like that ready in neighborhoods all across this grate nation.

And as I thought about dong one final time, I realize I was down on one knee in front of the last tiddys I was ever gonna see dude outside the Tiddy bar and my phone

She was layin there in bed like a angel.

She shifted a lil bit and I seen side tiddy.

I could barely even remember are neighbors dong no more.

I asked her to be my wife dude. Ask if I could see her Tiddys

She started sweatin from the eyes and said "YES!"

So I slipped the ring on her finger dude.

Than I handed the phone to her fren standin by the bed so he could take a photo of me kissin my wife

Best nite ever dude.

A men.

Bob don't use no chemicals in his pool dude.

This water 100% all natural dude. Same kinda water the cavemaynes was swimmin in before the lebs turned em all into soy boys

Organic as he'll in here, fill with soupy vitamins. No harsh chemicals hurtin you're dong or givin you oughta ism.

It feel nice dude. These natural waters. Perfect place to eat meets on a June day

And cuz Bob use the pool water as natural fertilizer for his yard, we can just throw any extra meets right in their for nutrients.

Meet good for everythin dude. Even water need alpha proteen if it wanna stay strong as he'll

Pool got natural anti oxidents and healthy algae that clense you're body from the inside out.

Feel incredible dude.

I take like 8 dumps every time I swim in Bob's pool, and sometimes I bleed from my eyes a lil bit

human body incredible what it do to clean itself

Somethin slimy with teeth grab my foot from underneath the water earlier. But I overpowered it and neutralized the threat quickly

Not sure what it was. But Bob say it more afraid of us than we are of him.

he just try to bite us and pull us under cuz he afraid

Bob cool as he'll dude

A men.