u/DesignerPainting1048

I have had an extremely traumatic 5 months, i speak about it and people don’t believe me it was so so traumatic and sad. I started Zoloft in July i was depressed, going through the worst OCD spiral i have ever had, panic attacks, constant anxiety and suicidal ideation, on top of looking after a newborn baby. I truly thought i was a lost cause and nothing was going to help me..
I started on 50mg of Zoloft and the first 4 weeks were so so bad i was 100x worse and i honestly do think it caused my suicidal ideation (please talk to your doctor if this happens) week 5 i started feeling abit better and i was hopeful till week 6 i came crashing down x10 harder i almost gave up i decided to see my dr again and i was increased to 100mg (this is standard where i am from) i decided against taking the whole 100mg straight away and took 75mg for 2.5 weeks to minimise side effects - they were still bad but only lasted about a week i didn’t feel better, i then went to 100mg no bad side effects besides a little bit of anxiety and derealisation for probably 3 days and after those 3 days i started to feel really good and everyday since then every day has been better then the one before. My life is starting to come back and i feel myself coming back better than ever.
I really hope this gives someone hope because i was you searching reddit for all the answers and positive stories as i was trying to hold onto the smallest amount of hope. I really thought zoloft wasn’t for me and i was going to have to find something else or that i was never going to get better. it has been an absolute roller coaster to say the least and i still have some improvement to go but please don’t give up and keep going because it truly does get better!

I love my baby so much but gosh i hate being a mum, i just feel like i have ruined my life im exhausted and 4 months pp i have so much support and im still struggling i feel like a terrible mum but i just do not enjoy it, i grieve my old life everyday please someone tell me it gets better, lots pf my friends have babies and they love it i feel jealous in a way that i don’t get to have that experience, i see a therapist and i am on an antidepressant but it has not helped me

how long did the 4 month regression last for your baby?? its been like 3 days and im already losing my mind 😭

I have a few ocd themes.. My newest one is Existential OCD after i have suffered 2 traumatic loses and now it has made me question reality, my psych has diagnosed this but i do struggle to communicate my obsessions sometimes because im not sure and i just havent mentioned it yet, so my question is feeling very hyper aware of my existence an OCD thing?? i also have depression and anxiety so whether or not its just that.. it as if i continually recognise that i am alive and existing very hard to explain..

I have been on 50mg of sertraline for 6 and a half weeks initially i felt 10 times worse constantly for about 3 weeks, extreme anxiety, rumination and depression and i started to have some better days on week 5 and now i feel like i have gone back down hill again, my anxiety has eased alot but my depression isnt great still, i feel okay for moments but rumination is my biggest issue.. i have ocd, depression and anxiety.. I have a doctors appointment to talk about an increase but im so scared i am going to feel worse again for a few weeks. I just want to bump up to 75mg are the side effects easier only going up 25mg at a time?? I am really struggling someone please tell me there experiences, or success stories for some encouragement i feel very defeated..