u/Different_Analyst855

I recently got out of a three‑year abusive relationship with a narcissist, physical, sexual, financial, and mental abuse. He was arrested for assault, strangulation, and uttering threats while I was pregnant, and I made the mistake of asking the Crown to drop the charges because I was alone and scared. The abuse stopped briefly, then continued.

We have a son young son together. I've spent the past year trying to escape. The final straw was when he got high and drunk, smashed things, woke the baby, and threw objects into the baby’s room. I kicked him out, and he tried to blame me, saying he “didn’t owe me anything.” Now I’m going to family court for support and custody.

I found out he actually ran straight to another woman’s house and has been living with her and her child in a full on relationship. I’ve since learned he’s been cheating with her since our baby was about five weeks old. More information keeps coming out, he even admitted it. Another girl warned me back in 2025 but I didn’t believe it at the time. Looking back, everything lines up.

This woman has a history of getting involved with taken men and bringing her child into multiple unstable situations. She’s even posted threats toward me. Meanwhile, he spent our entire relationship accusing me of cheating, controlling my movements, making me quit the gym and my job, and going through my phone for hours. He never found anything because I never had anything to hide. I stayed loyal to someone who abused me, and now he pretends none of it ever happened.

I keep asking myself:
Why do narcissistic men always run to the easiest option?
Why do they look at your reactions instead of their treatment to play the victim?
Does the new supply really think he won’t eventually do the same thing to her?
And why do some women thrive on being the side chick to taken men?

I don’t even know where to start. I’ve just gotten out of a very abusive three‑year relationship with a narcissist, physical, sexual, financial, and mental abuse. He was arrested for assault, strangulation, and uttering threats while I was pregnant, and I made the mistake of asking the Crown to drop the charges because I was lonely and isolated. The abuse stopped briefly, then continued.

We have a young son together. I’ve spent the past year trying to escape. The final straw was when he got high and drunk, smashed things, woke the baby, and threw objects into the baby’s room. I kicked him out, and he tried to flip the blame onto me, saying he “didn’t owe me anything.” Now I’m going to family court.

He told me he went to his dad’s, but I found out he actually ran straight to another woman’s house and has been living with her and her child. I’ve since learned he’s been cheating with her since our baby was about five weeks old. More and more information keeps coming out. He even admitted it. Another girl messaged me back in April 2025 warning me, but I didn’t believe her at the time but looking back, everything lines up.

This woman has a history of getting involved with taken men. She’s even posted threats toward me. Meanwhile, my ex spent our entire relationship accusing me of cheating. I wasn’t allowed to do anything. I had to quit the gym, quit my job, FaceTime him constantly, and he would take my phone and go through every message and app for hours. He never found anything because I never had anything to hide. I stayed loyal to someone who abused me, and now he pretends none of it ever happened.

Why do narcs run to the easiest possible replacement, and why does this girl think shes so special being a side piece to taken men? Given off his past history I doubt it will last, but it's just mind-blowing to me.

I don't even know where to start with this. I've recently gotten out of a very abusive relationship. 3 years of physical, sexual, financial and mental abuse. He got arrested for assault, strangulation and uttering threats while I was pregnant, but I was stupid and pleaded with the crown to drop the charges because I was lonely and pregnant (family is out of province) The abuse stopped for a short bit, but then continued on. There's a lot of details to this story and I'd be willing to explain deeper to anyone who wants to hear it.

We have a son together, he's a year and a half now. The happiest boy and he's everything to me. I've had to get CPS involved multiple times due to my ex partners crazy behaviour, I've spent the past year looking for an escape. There's also 5 different police files. Recently, I had to kick him out of the house because he was high and drunk, smashing things, woke the baby up, started throwing things into the babies room, I couldn't tolerate him doing these things around our innocent baby. He tried to flip the blame on to me and say because I kicked him out, he doesn't owe me anything, so now I'm going to family court for full custody, child support and spousal support.

He lied and told me he went to his dads house, I recently found out that he ran off to this girls house and has been living with her and her kid. He's also been cheating on me with her since the baby was about 5 weeks old. I keep finding out more and more information and new things keep coming to light. He's admitted to it, and I also received a message from another girl in April 2025 from someone claiming that he was hooking up with this chick, but I didn't believe her because things didn't seem to be lining up at the time..looking back, they absolutely were. But, what the actual fuck? Some background history about this girl too..she's known for being a homewrecker. She's done the same thing to one of my friends with her baby daddy and has a history of going after taken men. She's also been posting threats towards me. She looks like she eats meth for breakfast, but thats besides the point. She has a 5 year old at home and just brings different men into her house, doesn't matter if they're abusers, addicts, it's apparent that she's desperate.

My ex constantly accused me of cheating on him. I wasn't allowed to do anything. I had to quit going to the gym because he would make me facetime him every time I was there, even though he had my location. I had to quit my job. He would take my phone and scroll through it for 2 hours at a time, opening every single app, every single message, even the ones from before we got together. He never found anything because I never had anything to hide. I stayed loyal to a man that abused me and he's just pretending that none of that ever happened. I did everything for him. I'm handling it pretty well, my mom is out here visiting to help me take care of my son as I navigate everything, but the same question keeps coming back..the question is what the fuck? Why do these men run to easy women and how can they both live with themselves knowing the destruction they've caused? Theres zero sense of human decency.

I’m in BC and dealing with a high‑conflict parenting case with my ex. There’s a long history of domestic violence, physical, sexual, emotional, and financial. It wasn’t occasional or tied to drinking. A lot of the abuse happened while he was completely sober. There were threats, intimidation, property destruction, and times he acted aggressively in front of our baby. Police and MCFD have both been involved multiple times, and I’ve always been identified as the safe parent. Since the separation, nothing has stabilized. He still drinks heavily and uses drugs, but even sober he’s unpredictable. He disappears for long stretches, loses jobs, and then comes back acting like nothing happened. He’s been fired multiple times for substance use or not showing up. He was cheating with another woman since our baby was a newborn, and after the breakup I found out he had been living with her and her child, she's also recently threatened me. From what I’ve seen, she contributed to his instability and addiction, he was using more heavily while involved with her. He lied constantly about where he was living and who he was with.

I was forced to quit my job because of the abuse and instability, and I don’t qualify for income assistance because I’m a full‑time student. He hasn’t been paying child support or spousal support. Because he keeps quitting or getting fired, I’ve been told imputed income may be necessary since he’s capable of working when sober. I qualified for Legal Aid, but the lawyer I was assigned doesn’t seem experienced with high‑conflict cases or family law in general. There have been delays, things not being filed, and some information he gave me that turned out to be wrong. I spent hours putting together documentation including police reports, MCFD notes, timelines, abuse, neglect, financial info and he barely looked at it. He also wants to go through Provincial Court with a mediator, even though mediation has never been safe or realistic in my situation because of the DV history, the substance use, the instability, and the power imbalance. From everything I’ve learned, Supreme Court is usually more appropriate for cases involving safety concerns, long‑term parenting arrangements, and imputed income. It feels like he’s not understanding the risks or urgency of what I’m dealing with.

If I find another family lawyer who accepts Legal Aid and is willing to take my file, will Legal Aid BC switch me without making me reapply?

Are there downsides to switching lawyers mid‑case?

Is it normal to call family law offices directly to ask if they take Legal Aid?

Whats the best route to make sure my baby and I get the strongest protection and the financial support we’re entitled to?

For high‑conflict DV cases with safety concerns and financial issues like imputed income, is Supreme Court generally the better route?

I don't even know where to start with this. I've recently gotten out of a very abusive relationship. 3 years of physical, sexual, financial and mental abuse. He got arrested for assault, strangulation and uttering threats while I was pregnant, but I was stupid and pleaded with the crown to drop the charges because I was lonely and pregnant (family is out of province) The abuse stopped for a short bit, but then continued on. There's a lot of details to this story and I'd be willing to explain deeper to anyone who wants to hear it.

We have a son together, he's a year and a half now. The happiest boy and he's everything to me. I've had to get CPS (MCFD) involved multiple times due to my ex partners crazy behaviour, I've spent the past year looking for an escape. There's also 5 different police files (Edit, if you look at my previous post in family law, there was 2 police reports after the original charges, theres been an additional 2 since the separation from threats and acts of violence, totalling 5 police files). Recently, I had to kick him out of the house because he was high and drunk, smashing things, woke the baby up, started throwing things into the babies room, I couldn't tolerate him doing these things around our innocent baby. He tried to flip the blame on to me and say because I kicked him out, he doesn't owe me anything, so now I'm going to family court for full custody, child support and spousal support.

He lied and told me he went to his dads house, I recently found out that he ran off to this girls house and has been living with her and her kid. He's also been cheating on me with her since the baby was about 5 weeks old. I keep finding out more and more information and new things keep coming to light. He's admitted to it, and I also received a message from another girl in April 2025 from someone claiming that he was hooking up with this chick, but I didn't believe her because things didn't seem to be lining up at the time..looking back, they absolutely were. But, what the actual fuck? Some background history about this girl too..she's known for being a homewrecker. She's done the same thing to one of my friends with her baby daddy and has a history of going after taken men. She's also been posting threats towards me. She looks like she eats meth for breakfast, but thats besides the point. She has a 5 year old at home and just brings different men into her house, doesn't matter if they're abusers, addicts, it's apparent that she's desperate.

My ex constantly accused me of cheating on him. I wasn't allowed to do anything. I had to quit going to the gym because he would make me facetime him every time I was there, even though he had my location. I had to quit my job. He would take my phone and scroll through it for 2 hours at a time, opening every single app, every single message, even the ones from before we got together. He never found anything because I never had anything to hide. I stayed loyal to a man that abused me and he's just pretending that none of that ever happened. I did everything for him. I'm handling it pretty well, my mom is out here visiting to help me take care of my son as I navigate everything, but the same question keeps coming back..the question is what the fuck? Why do these men run to easy women and how can they both live with themselves knowing the destruction they've caused? Theres zero sense of human decency.

A couple of years ago, my partner got arrested while I was pregnant for leaving me black & blue and I was told by victim services that he was just going to get a slap on the wrist and that they'll go out of their way to try to humiliate me in court through text messages and whatever else he made up. He said I attacked him yet when the officers checked him, there wasn't a mark on his body. I got back into contact on him because I was alone, pregnant and isolated from friends & family. I ended up dropping the charges, crown was very hesitant but did it anyways.

He's always struggled with addiction but did get sober when he realized he missed me. Fast forward to now, we have a toddler and he's gotten back into his addiction, spending thousands per month, destroying work opportunities and putting us at risk for eviction. He's been somewhat violent but not as much as before. I had to quit my job cause he refused to come home and help with the baby (can only work evenings/nights cause of school) he's damaged thousands of dollars in property including multiple vehicles and electronics, holes in the wall, etc.

Been in contact with MCFD and have multiple reports, and an additional 2 police reports. I kicked him out of the home a week ago because he got drunk and aggressive, throwing things into our child's room and smashing things. My family member is here visiting from out of province and has been an eye witness to all of this. He took off a week ago and is now living his life as none of this happened, leaving us with unpaid rent and 0 supports.

I believe he needs to face consequences for his actions but scared to go to back to the police to press criminal charges (already had an officer here the other day, more details below) because he does have text messages of me spam texting him, begging him to come home instead of staying out drinking or abusing substances, and lots of texts of me threatening police involvement in the past for being neglectful. He's careful over text bc he knows from the last time that texts can be used but has had no problem threatening me over phone calls and in person. Theres a pattern of reactive abuse in text messages from putting up with so much over the years. I do evidence but not as much as last time (l had lots of evidence of the physical harm last time). I have texts and phone recordings from his own blood speaking about how he's done this to others in the past. Is it even worth it for me to go through with any criminal charges at this point? I fear he's going to do it to someone else and his abusive father enables him and will set out to ruin my life.

He's told me that he'll agree with custody terms but hasn't put in any effort to discuss the chaos that he's caused or talk about terms. A week of saying he'll call and nothing. Him and his father both have CPS cases against them and have done things to put my child's safety at risk (like telling me to hold my child's head in his car seat because they want to see how fast they can get to 100 after the light turns green" as I beg them not to, and they do it anyways, but I don't have proof. MCFD is aware of all of this. His dad is very controlling and I fear that he'll try to make him fight for custody even though he's said multiple times that he won't. I feel like I have a very strong case for family law but I know a criminal case can be difficult. I already went through legal aid for a family lawyer but I'm waiting on a call still. My nervous system is destroyed as I'm picking up the pieces of the destruction he's caused to mine and my child's life.

Any legal advice to offer? And yes, I have already been gathering resources over the months but nothing has happened for me yet. The police officer who was here the other day told me I'm doing everything right and told me that the system is so messed up that she wants to leave it in my hands to press criminal charges or not. If she had it her way, he'd be locked up for a long time.

**I'll add on that there has also been death threats, not towards my child but myself. One example is him driving my car a couple of weeks ago (child was not present) and he was screaming at me the entire way. When I finally spoke up, he sped up very fast and turned the wheel towards the barrier on the highway and yelled "do you want to die bitch".