u/Different_Jaguar9728

Because I been in this dry season for about 1 or even almost 2 years. I don't feel God move the way He used to. He's been quiet and been having little to no nudges by His spirit.

I been "bypassing" my emotions by praying in tongues but my emotions eventually come back then I feel discouraged and like I did something wrong towards God. I live in not just a house with no A/C but with toxic family that doesn't respect my boundaries and me being on a very low income due to mental disability... I am finding great difficulty in finding a place to live. I feel stuck and as if God is no longer directing me.

Last time I heard the holy spirit He said I am going to be getting out of my resting season but it still hasn't came yet. And it's as if I been focused on other things (social media) instead of focused on God. I try to do little things to keep focused on Him but it's like I still don't hear Him.

People say to fast but I recently been diagnosed (I knew I had it along though but the diagnosis confirms it) with Gerd so it's just hard to fast. I even tried the Daniel fast and He didn't move. I really wanted to hear Him again not just in His word but in His creations.

I been meditating recently on song of Solomon and recently God made me leave my insecurity of being Big bodied because song of Solomon praised big women so I been meditating on the entire book basically.

Other than that, my main question is, how long was your dry season and when will I get out of it? Its like I lost my salvation but I know that's the devil trying to lie to me. I'm fighting for my faith to stay still within me but most days I'm just not holding on much. 😭😭😭😭

A few days ago around the time my snake died and I was crying so much. I was chatting with AI (I have no friends) about the bible and being fat and it brought up song of Solomon and he praised fat Big bodied women. He even described her big belly as a heap of wheat with flowers around it.

I was so touched (and felt so sad still about my snake passing) that I cried. This was like a week or two ago and ever since then I researched more on it in a biblical viewpoint and it finally made me realize that I'm beautiful Big bodied and should no longer feel ashamed.

Ever since I been in that mindset now I been eating with not much issue healthier foods (still need to excerise more though but it's a start). And I been just happier now as both a bigger woman and as a child of God.

I don't know why people say it's too much filling or too sweet. It honestly tastes amazing to my mom and I.

First time trying it since yesterday and I am hooked!

Since my brother still had injuries and couldn't move much stuff I did a lot of moving with the buyers of their new home.

My brother's friend wasn't there so my brother was helping him with his stuff (his friend sold the property but wasn't around to clean it).

My brother did a lot for his friend and I believe he isn't getting paid as much but at least it's something.

Because I moved a lot of stuff my brother is giving me $50 for all that I done.

I felt like I got a lot done today but now I'm exhausted and my muscles and bones are sore. I am still in process of finding a job for myself, but today it was a work day. And so glad I'm getting paid for it because I was running low on my monthly income already.

So yeah, some good news! 😊

So I used to crochet a few months ago, and just still havent resume or even finished a crochet project still. I honestly miss crocheting and it used to be so calming on my anxious mind.

I draw still, but I want to get back into crocheting. I also want to eventually clean this messy room my mom and I stay in, but we are so unmotivated and I been like SO mentally tired and physically tired too. I am embarrassed to say this, but I slept basically the day away... again.

I just been overly tired, and me, trying not to be so hard on myself, thinks I make excuses for my poor behavior. It's true... I have been tired a lot, but why is it just so hard to do simple everyday things such as a hobby and cleaning a room?

I can use some encouragement or something. Idk.