u/Disastrous-Radish504

Edit for clarification: I confused the definition of reprimand with punish or discipline. Clearly, if Im asking for advice on how to address it with the kids, I’m willing to reprimand them.

What would you do in this situation?

The neighbor kids (5m, 7m) came over to play with my daughter (3) outside. I’m inside with my newborn, pumping, my husband is supervising the older kids, and my dad is home and doing things around the house. My husband came inside quickly to grab a toy the kids wanted to play with- suddenly heard my dad say “don’t smash her pumpkin!!”

One of the kids threw the pumpkin my daughter JUST spent time painting onto the driveway and it smashed open. My daughter is upset. What do I do? I obviously can’t reprimand my neighbor’s kid, but I want them all to know that wasn’t okay and that wasn’t kind. I don’t even know which kid did it, my dad doesn’t know their names anyway so he can’t clarify which kid it was exactly. Their parents aren’t outside and didn’t see it happen. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it’s important to me to validate my daughter’s feelings and stand up for her since she doesn’t know how to do it herself yet.

I have a 2 week old baby and a 3 year old. I haven’t played with my 3 year old, like really played with her since the baby has been born. I’m almost exclusively breastfeeding; I pump daily and only use bottles when it’s late and I start falling asleep during feeds.

How the hell do yall keep enough energy to play with your toddlers? I’m EXHAUSTED. She wants to play with legos and I’m falling asleep even as I type this out 😭 I feel so, so bad, but I can hardly keep my eyes open. We watch movies together and snuggle at bedtime but I feel like it’s not enough.

I couldn’t sleep so I decided to scroll social media on my husband’s phone, since he usually has funny content as opposed to my own political newsfeed. That was such a tremendous mistake.

I have a toddler and I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I have been trying so hard to maintain hope for the future and I feel like everything I just saw and read unraveled that in a millisecond. I have ALWAYS been an incredibly hopeful, optimistic person and I feel like all of the hope I’ve ever felt in my entire life just left my body. I doomscrolled too close to the sun.

I feel so incredibly selfish for bringing kids into this. I’m overjoyed that they exist and I get to exist with them and be their mom, but holy shit, what have I done? What am I supposed to do now? I’m devastated that this is all happening and that I live somewhere where leadership is not only actively making things worse, but targeting opposing voices, “preparing for end times” (their words, not mine) and building bunkers for themselves instead of being normal fucking human beings who want to live somewhere nice above ground.

If I didn’t have my kids, I don’t think I’d be here anymore. I’m so scared of the future that I started having thoughts about “jumping ship” if you know what I mean. I would never do that to my kids, especially my living breathing daughter, but I don’t know how to cope anymore.

I know hope will return to me, but right now I’m just… gutted. I know stepping away from the news or at least taking breaks is all I can really do right now for my mental health- but that makes me feel like I’m a part of the problem. It also doesn’t help that 1. I live with doomsday preppers, my parents, and 2. I’ve had deep seated, intense fears about the end of the world since childhood. I suspect I have OCD and I don’t know how to quiet the anxiety or stop the compulsions, since they seem to make things exponentially worse at this point. Research and prepping is making it worse, but doing nothing is also making it worse. Nothing is helping.

Anyway. That’s about it.

My 3 year old picks her skin while she sucks her thumb. It creates lesions, then she picks the scabs. I wasn’t worried about the thumb sucking because I know they grow out of it eventually, but she has had a wound on her chin for MONTHS and she has one on her nose that comes back. Her chin is starting to scar. She scratches her lip too but it doesn’t open wounds.

She does it when she’s anxious. We put bandaids with neosporin on it at bedtime and she usually wants to leave them on all day (she doesn’t like the discomfort of taking them off). When we do manage to change the bandages and let the wound breathe and heal, she gets right back to it.

We try to help her soothe herself and remind her that she’s safe, we softly encourage her to stop sucking her thumb, and we gently remind her not to pick (which gets her to stop temporarily) but I can’t monitor her 24/7.

I feel so sad that she does this and that I can’t seem to help her to stop. I know what triggers her, but sometimes they can’t be avoided. What can I do to help her stop?

1. My daughter (3) has been hitting when I tell her no. I’ve tried holding her hands, removing myself from the situation, removing HER from the situation, getting on her level any sternly telling her we don’t hit, timeouts; nothing has worked.
2. She also starts throwing her stuff when I ask her to pick up her toys or when she’s mad- she knows I’ll take it away, which means Mama is going to pick it up instead of her, and she doesn’t care. She literally smiles and tells me to take it away and she doesn’t ask for it back.

I’m going to end up taking ALL of her toys- and then what?

I don’t know what to do and it’s killing me. I’ve started to yell at her, I NEVER wanted to be a parent that yells but it doesn’t make a difference anyway: no reaction or big reaction, she just laughs and continues the behavior. I’m 34 weeks pregnant, I’m worried this behavior is going to end up hurting the baby either by accident or on purpose. I feel like I’m losing my shit over here. My husband is inconsistent with the consequences (meaning he gives like 5 million warnings and then nothing happens) and I’ve given up trying with him, I can’t make him do anything- she can learn if daddy doesn’t mean it, mommy does.

She got over salmonella a week ago but either still doesn’t feel good or got used to getting what she wants? She also missed her nap today SOS.

She has been hitting me, the dog, her surroundings, ALL DAMN DAY, for DAYS. She has a nasty tone when it’s unwarranted, is calling us names (not bitch anymore, thank god), blatantly ignoring us when we tell her to do things- testing boundaries.

She’s literally only 2.5 so I’m trying to let it roll off my shoulders, but today as I was trying to unload some dishes, she grabbed a knife (immediately taken away, as I was watching her), hit me, tried to climb into the dishwasher, screamed something incoherent at me, climbed her toddler tower in a way she knows is unsafe, swatted at me from across the room, then tried climbing over the edge of her toddler tower to actually come hit me (it’s unstable and heavy, so it started to fall over with her on it). I plucked her off of the toddler tower and firmly told her I had enough and she needed to go somewhere else until I was done with the dishes. Then she smacked me in the face 🙃 not my proudest parenting moment, but I got really close and raised my voice at her to leave me alone and that I was done.

She ran away crying saying I hurt her feelings. I told her she also hurt my feelings but I let her run away. She stopped crying right away, came back into the kitchen a minute later, started messing with something she knows she isn’t supposed to AGAIN, and then came up to me saying “make me feel better mama” 🥲 I picked her up, gave her a hug and apologized, explained to her that hitting is not okay, and put on Ms. Rachel so I can finish the damn dishes.

I would never EVER hurt my child, but Jesus H Christ I need a break 😮‍💨 I don’t need any advice, I just wanted to vent.

I recently joined a movement/group called Mother Forward and thought it was fitting for the sub! It’s for mothers who want to fight for a better future for mothers and our children. Apparently it started as a post on Reddit and has blossomed into a whole thing.

I’ll link the website so you can do your own reading- the website will describe it better than I can!

It goes without saying I absolutely love and adore my toddler. But she is a sour patch kid through and through. Lately more sour.

My daughter has been calling me a bitch every time I ask (and then, after much resistance, directly tell) her to do something she doesn’t want to do. She’s TWO AND A HALF. Time to brush her hair? I’m a bitch. I told her no screen time? I’m a bitch. Asking her to wait while I make her eggs? Bitch. Begging her to eat the eggs? Bitch. Stop throwing the eggs on the floor? Bitch.

I am at my wits end. I have tried redirecting, I have tried giving her alternative names to use, I have tried timeouts, I have tried being firm and telling her we don’t talk to the people we love like this, i have told her I don’t want to play/snuggle/hang out with people who use that word, I have cried about it in front of her (not proud of that), I have tried just walking away. I have literally just sat there and stared at her. The last few days I have started yelling at her (definitely not proud of that). Nothing changes. Then she starts crying and says I hurt her feelings by yelling at her and it makes me want to scream and cry and shave my head.

I know she’s not trying to be mean, but she’s really fucking mean. I’m worried ignoring it won’t fix the issue. Her dad and I don’t talk to each other like that ever, we don’t watch movies where people talk to each other like that, and we’ve been very careful about the kind of music we listen to. I know she heard it from somewhere but I don’t think that really matters at this point, considering the behavior continues despite being very mindful of what we consume around her.

The worst part is, I feel like I’m starting to feel some type of way about it and that feels devastating. When she’s sweet, she’s SO sweet, but I can’t even enjoy it while it lasts because I’m waiting for the switch to happen. I’ve been finding myself wanting to spend more time away from her, not wanting to spend time with her or even interact with her. That breaks my heart. I love her so much, but I can’t take this anymore. Her dad is her preferred parent, which is fine, but I wish she didn’t like, actively do... this. it feels like she hates me, I know she doesn’t but it feels like she does. I dont like the kind of parent I’m turning into and I don’t know how to fix this. I’m really fucking depressed, and I’m due to give birth in another 10 weeks, so I’m also exhausted and running on fumes and I don’t feel good overall. I’m terrified I’m going to fuck up our relationship long term already.

Pls help 😭

CW: disordered eating

I have had issues with the anorexia/binge eating pendulum for like, 14 years. I’m pregnant (about 29 weeks) and have gained 30lbs. I’m close to being in the “obese” category and I’m STRUGGLING with that.

My doctor said my weight gain was on track and normal despite being overweight, because I started the pregnancy slightly overweight. They said if I gained weight faster they would be concerned, but that so far there isn’t any concern. I want to fall into old habits so so bad but I know that’s going to have long term consequences for both the baby and myself. i also understand obesity comes with health problems and complications during delivery, and im trying for a VBAC (c-section was not due to complications during labor for first child). So im scared my weight alone is going to complicate things.

Has anyone lost weight during pregnancy and have it be a positive thing? I’m not at risk for gestational diabetes and my bloodwork has come back fine, and I thought I was eating healthy enough despite not necessarily avoiding any kinds of foods (just being mindful of portions). Does anyone have any advice?

As a side note, I feel ashamed about the disordered eating thoughts and urges so talking to someone IRL about it feels not good.

My husband and my kid are not tidy and I’m so d o n e with it all. We get into fights about cleaning up because he cleans every 2 weeks and then immediately plays with EVERY SINGLE TOY SHE OWNS. He does not make her clean up her messes and then she absolutely refuses to do it with me. It’s causing a lot of tension in my relationships with both of them.

I’m literally trying to clean the living room as we speak because my house looks like a fucking mild hoarder’s house. My daughter is actively throwing her toys out of the bins I JUST put them in. Threatening to take her toys away and then following through makes me feel like the bad guy and it makes her extremely upset and explaining shit to a 2 year old is like talking to a wall. I also don’t even have the space to confiscate her toys, where am I gonna put them??? This is fucking bullshit.

My husband and I get into finger pointing matches when all I’m approaching him with and asking is for him to pick up HIS OWN MESSES. He seems to think the mess is an equal contribution when I do not play with her toys, I do not sit in the living room, I put my dishes in the sink aside from water cups- these dishes and the pile of garbage and the 4(!!!!) dirty diapers I just cleaned up are not mine!!!! I am messy in other rooms, I will admit, but my mess is confined to one spot- the mess he makes with my daughter is spread out among the entire house and I pick up at the end of the day if I don’t fall asleep at bedtime.

I can’t function like this anymore. It’s 10am, he’s sleeping because he worked late and it’s like whatever, but Jesus FUCK I want to drag him out of bed by his ankles and kick him out right now. He bitches about not getting any free time, when he absolutely DOES, every single night, and he can have free time in the morning when I get up with her. I spend ALL THREE of my days off CLEANING THE FUCKING HOUSE and it never seems to make a dent!! And because I spend every day cleaning up after a grown adult and my child, I HAVE NO FREE TIME. If I want free time I need to wait until she takes a nap, and usually I need a nap too because I’ve spent the first half of the day doing everything for everyone else.

I’m also entering my 3rd trimester, so I’m extra irritable and upset right now. I just want to lay in bed and cry and rot. I can’t do this anymore.

Every time I ask for advice in other subs, I get more judgmental or negative comments than actual help and it’s honestly starting to wear me down. I’m 6 months pregnant with a strong willed, intelligent 2.5 year old and I’m absolutely not perfect, but I guess the fact that she’s using cuss words while I’m navigating parenthood for the first time is indicative that I’m actually the fucking worst.

I wish people were more kind, especially to mothers who are genuinely trying their best. I don’t want to feel like I have to defend myself every time I have an issue. The last time I asked for any kind of advice, I wasn’t even asking about how to handle the cussing or even my own parenting in general, I just mentioned it for context- I got a stern comment about the cussing specifically, so I reiterated I wasn’t asking for that kind of advice and apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

I don’t know how to let things roll off my shoulders. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have any support at all, even in mom subs meant for support. I don’t understand why kindness isn’t given anymore and why harshness or “tough love” (as some random ass strangers call it) is the default. I don’t need to be coddled but god damn, I’m obviously trying here.

That’s all.

It’s not behavior related, just for context- my child (2.5f) uses cuss words and we are struggling to get her to stop.

My husband keeps coming up with stuff that I am positive will have negative implications when she gets older such as anxiety and/or insecurity or people-pleasing behavior.

For example, he makes threats such as “if you don’t stop swearing, a bad guy/monster is going to get you.”

“I’m going to tell [neighbor’s mom] and [neighbor’s mom] won’t let [neighbor] play with you anymore”

My daughter’s aunt (9) over the phone today said “if you don’t stop using naughty words I won’t be your friend anymore.” My daughter ADORES her auntie. My daughter got very quiet and started sucking her thumb as a response, she does that when she’s upset or uncomfortable and I don’t think she even said goodbye to her auntie before walking away. I told my husband that was really mean and he just stared at me and then changed the subject with his sister. Nothing else was said about it (yet).

I want to bring it up later, but I know he’s going to get defensive or deny that it’ll have any kind of impact and blame ME for worrying too much. We already got into a fight about the whole “a bad guy is going to get you” thing because he wanted me to back him up on that and I refused. He seems to think stuff doesn’t stick to kids this young.

Please help me explain what kind of impact this could have on my daughter from an actual child psychologist’s perspective so i don’t sound like I’m just being an “anxious mom.”

It’s not behavior related, just for context- my child (2.5f) uses cuss words and we are struggling to get her to stop.

My husband keeps coming up with sh*t that I am absolutely positive will have negative implications when she gets older such as anxiety and/or insecurity or people-pleasing behavior.

For example, he makes threats such as “if you don’t stop swearing, a bad guy/monster is going to get you.”

“I’m going to tell [neighbor’s mom] and [neighbor’s mom] won’t let [neighbor] play with you anymore”

My daughter’s aunt (9) over the phone today said “if you don’t stop using naughty words I won’t be your friend anymore.” My daughter ADORES her auntie. My daughter got very quiet and started sucking her thumb as a response, she does that when she’s upset or uncomfortable and I don’t think she even said goodbye to her auntie before walking away. I told my husband that was really mean and he just stared at me and then changed the subject with his sister. Nothing else was said about it (yet).

I want to bring it up later, but I know he’s going to get defensive or deny that it’ll have any kind of impact and blame ME for worrying too much. We already got into a fight about the whole “a bad guy is going to get you” thing because he wanted me to back him up on that and I refused. He seems to think sh*t doesn’t stick to kids this young, but I KNOW it’s the contrary.

Please help me explain what kind of impact this could have on my daughter from an actual child psychologist’s perspective so i don’t sound like I’m just being an “anxious mom.”

I get it, I’m not a perfect parent like everyone else on social media, but the fact that I let my toddler watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and certain scenes in Bring It On over 6 months ago is a clear indication that I am one of the WORST mothers EVER. And the fact that I enjoy The Sims in my free time??? Immature AND irresponsible. How dare i ask for advice about how to get my toddler to stop suddenly swearing, when I am obviously extremely guilty of exposing her to these words in the first place and clearly saturated her entire life in them?? I guess I was supposed to buy her a tablet and let her watch YouTube Kids as a 2.5 year old, because that is infinitely more appropriate and beneficial for her development than watching parts of a movie with me and monitoring exactly what she’s watching in real time. Smh.

(This is obviously sarcasm).

I’m gonna preface this by saying I’m a loner, I highly value alone time, and sometimes that includes alone time with my family- my husband and our toddler. Also important to note that my MIL used to weaponize her tears and manipulate my husband before I encouraged him to stand up for himself and call it out, so my first impression of her wasn’t the greatest. She has made extremely judgmental comments about random strangers and her own sister, so all of this has been kind of sticky on my mind as I’ve gotten to know her. She has some great traits as well, but for me, the bad ones slightly outweigh it.

When my daughter was born, my MIL was over 4 times a week, sometimes 5. She didn’t/still doesn’t really play with my daughter then or now, she takes pictures and/or sits on her phone or gossips with us or the other adults we live with. She used to come over so often because she was terrified, I mean absolutely off her rocker scared that my daughter wasn’t going to remember her… as a newborn/infant. Again, she was coming over more often than not at that point. She used to take it extremely personal when my daughter would cry and pull away from her AS A NEWBORN/INFANT. Eventually we told her she can’t force a bond with our daughter, and we have had to tell her that multiple times throughout our daughter’s life. She seemed to cool off for a while.

Then there was the meltdown. I don’t remember what set it off, but around my daughter’s 2nd birthday, she absolutely lost her shit over this bond she wants so badly. My daughter wasn’t excited to see her anymore, actually didn’t want to see her at all and actively protested my MIL’s presence. We live with my parents to save money; I think my daughter had a sweet moment with my mom in front of my MIL. My MIL was actually hysterical over all of it and I caught her sitting on the floor sobbing to my mom about needing my daughter and needing a strong bond with her. She said some other things that led me to believe she was codependent with my toddler.

Huge red flags.

I am still a little salty about this next bit- I had to be the one to put boundaries in place with her instead of my husband. He backed me up behind closed doors but the second I told him to speak up and then subsequently said something to her because he wouldn’t, he suddenly couldn’t see what I was seeing anymore and it was just “my problem”. I stood my ground and told him he needed to back me up, which stirred a lot of personal stuff up for both of us, but that’s another story. We cut her time down to 2x a week on scheduled days at scheduled times. She fought it for a while but eventually lamented and things actually did calm down.

But now I feel like that’s still too often.

I don’t have saturdays to myself OR with my daughter- I can’t take my daughter to play with my friends’ kids or do fun kid things just me and her because MIL is coming over and/or will ask to join. She spends ALL DAY here on saturdays. We have a 4th of July party coming up at my aunt’s house- she was invited last year, but my husband is working this year and even though MIL is still invited, I don’t want her to come. I’m also acutely aware that this cuts into “her time” with my daughter.

My husband is content with the schedule, im actually the only one with a problem with it this time. He will not back me up if I decide 1 day a week is enough, in fact he would probably fight me on it. It pisses me off that she tells us we’re all she has when she doesn’t even try to pick up hobbies or make friends- she has quite literally told me she doesn’t want any because her focus is on my daughter. Call me insensitive, cruel, whatever you want. It bothers me that her world revolves around my child.

I would also feel this way about my own parents if we didn’t live with them. I don’t like her spending time with my dad because he’s an alcoholic asshole and my mom is vocally religious (husband and I are not) and plants little seeds when I’m not listening.

I just need to get this off my chest, because I know telling my husband this would go terribly, horribly wrong.

I work at a level 3, 1:1 program for autistic adults and high schoolers. When the school year ended, my school laid off 41 people district wide to “save money” and hired new staff from out of the country because it is cheaper (I don’t know how that works, that’s just what I’ve been told).

I am the ONLY staff member from the school year returning for ESY. None of these paras OR teachers know these students and vice versa, which puts a lot of pressure on me because I am pulled every in direction, especially during a behavior but also for small mundane things as well. I am happy to do it, that’s not the problem.

The problem is that some of the para trainees make SEVEN (7) WHOLE DOLLARS more than me???? I am the lowest paid employee in my program- everyone else ranges from a buck.50 to $7(!!!!) more than me- I’m talking paras mind you, not teachers. I didn’t get any kind of raise for ESY and per my last paycheck, I don’t think I’m getting the extra compensation owed to me anyway (they said I’d be making an hourly rate + what I would get paid over the summer already).

I’m obviously going to speak with HR, but what do I even say? How do I approach this in a way that is not “hey what the fuck?”

I’m not sure if I’m posting in the correct sub or if this is the correct flair, so pls let me know. I’m a mother trying to learn how to repair/build/install everything I can to be more independent, so advice or tips would be greatly appreciated!

I have a window AC unit that has been making a cracking sound off and on all day- not a crackling sound, it’s more like when thick plastic cracks. Visually, I could not see any cracks when peeking inside the unit vents or around the outside, but I did notice it wasn’t cooling the small space as well as it usually does.

Just now (like literally 5 minutes ago), I heard a shattering noise that leads me to believe that perhaps I was hearing some kind of ice build up cracking and eventually breaking. It’s not making that cracking sound anymore, but something definitely shattered and fell to the bottom inside of the unit.

My question is, do I need to clean that out immediately, or can it wait until tomorrow? Will it cause issues if I don’t? And how would I even do that? There are no other strange sounds or happenings with the unit outside of what I have described above.

Thanks!

I’m so depressed, I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I feel like a terrible mother because I can’t handle my toddler testing boundaries like a normal toddler does. I feel like I have zero support as a person instead of as a mother, and I feel like nobody cares that I’m empty or that they expect me to just pull myself together because I’m a mom. I don’t want my toddler to think it’s her fault and that I need space from her. I’m 25 weeks pregnant and I fear I won’t be good enough for this baby either. And I feel like a terrible person for wanting to escape or do something crazy when I have a family who loves and cares about me.

Everything is too loud and too messy and too overwhelming. Even sex with my husband (who is very much a giver) feels like a chore. I went from being confident to hating the way I look. Nothing, absolutely nothing I do ever feels like it’s enough or like it makes a difference- I feel like I’m failing everybody, including my unborn child. I don’t even know what to say when my husband asks what’s wrong or why I feel this way; I just do. I don’t have any interests anymore, I don’t have the time or space or interest to do anything anyway. I just want to sleep or stare at the wall forever.

Basically: I live with my parents, my boyfriend, my daughter, and my adult brother, but it’s more like a roommate situation- all of our expenses are separate including food; we split rent and utilities. My “household” is only supposed to be me, my boyfriend, and my daughter. I’ve tried explaining this to the county worker, and the second time around she told me it doesn’t matter as long as we are all living under the same roof. They told me I MUST include everyone who lives under the same roof as me. I have a hard time processing things, and this happened a year ago, so I don’t remember her reasoning but honestly I don’t think she even gave me a reason. I was probably flustered and probably didn’t ask. After that phone call, everything I applied for came back denied because we don’t qualify as a “household,” because we make too much combined, despite me telling them multiple times we don’t combine our finances, again they’re literally just roommates that happen to be blood related.

Am I just like, explaining things to them incorrectly? Am I missing something on my end? Does including roommates in a household sound right to anyone? I had a case manager who was supposed to help me navigate due to my processing issues, but I moved counties (plus it was a transitional point in my life) and i lost touch with her. I obviously wouldn’t be applying or asking for help if we didn’t need this, and I have another baby due late September/early October, so I’m starting to feel incredibly anxious.

First time coming across this sub, found it because I googled “I’m a miserable mom” during a breakdown. I’m at a loss of what to do.

I’m 23 weeks pregnant, i also have a 2.5 year old. My body hurts, I’m exhausted, my toddler is going through an asshole phase (love her so much), I feel like I can’t breathe without a literal or metaphorical punch to the jugular. This morning, I had literally just opened my eyes and suggested she try to use her potty (same as I do every day) when she told me sternly to stop talking and to go away, and then she started dropping f-bombs all within the span of 5 minutes. None of us tell her to stop talking or to go away, so I have no idea where she learned that, and correcting it does NOTHING. I told her that was enough and she can take a time out so she hit me, which sent me over the edge and I left her with her dad to go cry. Yesterday was really bad too, a lot of power struggles and anger/impatience from both sides literally all f*cking day.

My husband thinks she has no discipline and that she’s going to be a naughty kid- his idea of discipline is telling her a bad guy is going to come get her if she doesn’t listen. We got into a fight 2 days ago because I wouldn’t back him up on it, I don’t think lying about strangers to scare your child into submission is the right move either, or at least that’s not how I want to parent- but I digress. He also threw in my face during this argument that I was a “naughty kid” growing up- I was sneaky and broke house rules, but I didn’t blatantly disrespect my parents like that (he was straight up disrespectful to his own mom AS AN ADULT up until I witnessed it myself and called him out on it). He thinks sternly telling her not to do things is enough, when it’s like yes, AND we need to provide alternatives as well or nothing is going to stick. He gets frustrated and dishes out punishments or yells but he’s not helping her understand what’s wrong or how we can act/say things differently next time.

The mom guilt is really f*cking me up now. I feel like a failure in my relationships with my man and my kid, like trying to be a calm, grounded/level-headed parent and a safe person for my daughter is going to backfire and create children who will walk all over me and a husband who resents me. I grew up with parents who yelled at me all the time and I hate the idea of being the same. My daughter cries or yells at me when she’s with me more than she laughs and it’s devastating, I love her so much but I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like I’m destroying my relationships and just rotting from the inside out. And I feel like I can’t talk about it because i sound ungrateful or like I’m just whining.