u/Disposable-09j

So I met my girlfriend 3 years ago when I was teaching in China (I'm American, she is Chinese), and we were dating for a little under a year before I had to move back to the US. We discussed me maybe staying there at the time, but I had some obligations back home I needed to return to and my temporary visa was going to expire with the end of my employment there. We weren't ready to discuss marriage or anything so we just decided to try long-distance until a permanent situation could be worked out.

That has been the situation since. It hasn't been the easiest with time differences and everything, but it is what it is. We have seen each other a few times since, but of course this takes a lot of planning and money for travel. Usually one of us will visit for a few weeks at a time. Last time I visited her in January, and she is planning to come here for most of August.

Now I think it goes without saying that a good portion of these trips is focused on physical intimacy. We can't touch each other for months at a time, so we usually have sex the second we're able to be alone after arrival (we have even done it in the car at the airport), and I of course look forward to this part of seeing her. It's not the only important thing but I mean, I have the normal sex drive of a man in his 20s and going as long as 7 months without any can be a challenge. And it does always come across as mutual. It's not like I have to ask her or pester her about it, we just have a lot of sex when we're together and seem equally interested.

So that's why I'm a little confused about her comments tonight. We were talking on the phone and got into some of our plans for August. It's my birthday next month so she is planning stuff for that, and it was there that she brought up her sudden apprehension about sex. She said basically, "by the way, I was wanting to talk to you... of course I won't deprive you on your birthday (laugh), but otherwise I think we should try slowing down this time, you know?" I asked what she meant and she clarified that she meant sex (I understood that from the "deprive" comment but didn't understand the slow down part) and that she would like to slow down and maybe not focus so much on that while she is here. I said that was okay but that I hoped we could still find time for it at least a few times, and she said "we'll see." She also talked a lot about how she wants to start thinking more about getting married and me finding a permanent job in China, but I just said I wasn't sure and would need more time to figure that out (I do want to marry her but practical limitations exist, I can't just make promises to her until I know I can follow through)

Admittedly I left the conversation a little disappointed, but I'm not sure if she picked up on that or not. I can kind of understand her perspective. Last time I saw her, we were the most sexually active we've ever been, and she ended up getting upset over an incident where we were supposed to have dinner with her family and were late because we lost track of time. She expressed a similar attitude at the time about how that's all we do and we should spend more time as a couple in public. Which I feel like we do. We go on dates and stuff. It's just that we basically have to fit all of our intimacy for half the year in a few weeks, so it's hard not to get distracted by it.

Of course I will not pressure her to have sex with me if she doesn't want to, but I think it will be hard not to get frustrated with the lack of intimacy over a full month when that's our only chance for it. I get the feeling she is using this as leverage for a marriage proposal and that she would probably loosen up on the "we'll see" comment if she got one. Which again, I would like to marry her. I just don't want to commit without concrete plans in mind.

TL;DR - My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex next time we see each other even though we haven't in 7 months by then

Should I be worried? I work overnight at the medical examiner's office as an autopsy tech, and I was alone tonight doing prep/sanitation stuff. I didn't expect anyone to come into the office because we're a small crew (not a very busy area) and it's a holiday weekend, so I was just eating my hot dogs in the morgue. Not while actively cleaning or handling bodies to be clear. I had five hot dogs packed for the night and I don't like eating in the breakroom by myself because it's honestly kind of creepy in there.

But of course, the instant I'm doing something technically wrong my boss walks in unexpectedly and catches me eating the hot dogs. She was just stopping by to check on something before the long weekend and didn't let me know. She reprimanded me about eating in there, I apologized, but we didn't go into too much discourse because she was in a rush. I went to the breakroom to finish and she left without saying anything, but then she texted me later "Have a good night (my name) and enjoy the holiday, we need to have a meeting first thing Monday if you can come by about 30 minutes early, thanks."

Am I going to get fired or is this possibly about something completely unrelated? I'm really nervous