u/Double_Cheese_Pizza

So

I have a friend lets call him addy

So recently we had an event and he managed everything. The idea was mine to make a memorable video edit. To present it in my classes. And from there every decoration and al that stuff started. Addy was doing all this for just credit. Like he always does everything for credit.

And the event was going great. And in middle like when 70% event was over and we were resting for some time. He like sat somewere alone. When we noticed and asked him why he was sitting there he didn't said anything to us.

Later one of the sir found out that what happened and he called addy to talk to him privately while the event was going on.

Later a day after that, we asked sir what happened, because addy is not telling us anything, and sir also didn't tell us anything he only said that addy is upset by us. And me and my friend analysed that day. Nothing was happened

And when i was sitting at home thinking. Because i am a person who doesn't like if someone gets hurt because of me even if i have done zero mistakes. Still i say sorry.

So i was thinking and i think he got upset because no one appreciated him like they did like small like this is managed by addy and all. But when i was presenting in my classes. After that all of them liked it and i got appreciated. I don't focus on credit. If you want you can take it. I believe it on earning it. Like making my work, wuality, stand out. That people automatically knows that this is done by me.

And my mind was fucked up. Like i didn't know what to do. What i have done wrong and i analysed everything as i am a overthinker

And a friend other friend called him and addy told him that event didn't got as planned, they didn't credited me. And i was like wtf. All this of just credits ? You fucked my mind for credits ?

How can someone be this dumb. That everyone appreciated the event was good. How much credit do you want. And what you have done. Just distributed the work ? You have done nothing.

And this is not just about credit or me. This is going to go on friendships

Like last year we had an event. And at that time i and addy were managing everything. Like we did started. And later like you know there are some girls who want some fame, frame, and credit. So a girl was trying to make us replaced by her. Showing that she did everything. And addy is so immature that he left. The event was in 2 days. He just left the event planning and everything. I had to do everything on my own. I didn't had time to think that should i focus on friendships, credits, work, management what should i focus on. And that event was the worst event i have done ever. I regret my life.

And this is not the first time. He has disrespect me. Doesn't value me, takes me for granted.

We are friends just because i know better in academics done.

And today i called him twice. And later after some time again called him. He didn't picked up

And my mind can't stop recalling it

I feel like when this topic comes. My heart just rushs, heartbeat starts to increase, body rushs. And even if I did nothing wrong. I am easily to manipulate because i care to much

And for someone like me. Friendships never work. Because when you get aware and start improving yourself you expect things that matchs your level. Like you never expect you to get understood by a mechanic guy. You know that he will not get it. So addy was a guy who always chooses comfort zone, blaming others, never accepts mistakes, village kind mentality.

And i have understood one thing. When people deal with loneliness and don't have someone to talk. They choose worst people to be with as friends, partners, or anything

People who says that choose your friends wisely is the truth.

I am someone who is extrovert and introvert.

Like i don't like to share my problems, or anything, like not even secrets. There is no one that knows me more then 20%.because i know they won't understand, they will criticise, blame me. And create all the drama. And if they want to blackmail me with my secrets thry can

And i feel like when i am sharing anything, i feel like i overshared, i feel like i am weak, i am asking for some attention, i am depending on someone, i am falling down

And as extrovert because i like to make people laugh, when someone new comes in i talk to them, make them feel comfortable.

So addy has lied, betrayed and done many things multiple times

I just want to tell you that, choose your friends wisely. Don't let loneliness let your choose someone who you will regret always.

Like i expect friendship to work both sides

Like i never bring money in middle of friendships. I have done so many things i have put so many efforts i am not saying i am 100% perfect but if i am improving, learning and exploring , lets say even if i am 1% good. I expect a person to be at 1%.if the person is at 0, how can he undertand me. How can i understand him. How can we bond ? I just hate it. When people don't respect boundaries, like for example lets assume you are aware, improving, growing, and becoming better. Would you expect the other person to be somewhat at your level. You will not hang out with people who are at bottom.because the thought process, the minds, the understanding, the way to observe things, everything changes

When people say womens go behind money, no women go behind standards. Because once you set your own standards. Standards lower them you will not make you happy for feel what you want like i hope you understand what i am trying to say. Like sometimes we get frustrated, angry on peoples actions like wtf is he doing, what you can't even think that, like it has happened so many times like i get frustrated and angry. Like wtf are you doing. This is just stupid.

Somehow i wanted this to end. I never wanted to stay long with addy, as i knew that he is not going to grow or he is not the kind of friends i want

But i don't want to feel this guilt while sleeping.

Maybe i am not made for friendships, maybe i expect to much, maybe i don't put much efforts, maybe i like to be alone. I am someone who likes to be alone. If i have my pc and me, i don't need anything else.

I just feel like addy is so immature he is arround 23-26, who does all this just because of credits, i believe if someone has reached at some level/standards there is always a reason, and if he is there stucked it also has a reason. Everything has a reason

Thank you for reading this. Thank you

https://preview.redd.it/03zr390trgah1.png?width=1680&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddf1bc179dfbe44559310b916e0cefdcadbab3d4

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